Meet The Press
June 28, 2009
Guests:
White House Advisor David Axelrod
Sen. Lindsay Graham
Fmr Gov Mitt Romney
*************************
Gregory: axel f you have a crazy energy bill
Axelrod: yeah it's awesome
Gregory: but the GOP says it's a jobs killing
jobs killer
Axelrod: um yeah meanwhile the polar bears are dying off faster than celebrities
Gregory: can you fail less on health care than
you have failed on energy?
Axelrod: oh we'll get a public choice plan and
we'll call it ‘competition’
Gregory: that’s what terrifies me
Gregory: Obama won't draw a line in the
sand but Dr. Dean did
Axelrod: if we don't have a public plan it won't be bad for the Democrats it will be bad for America
Gregory: to oppose a public plan because it will be both threatening and bad is not logical
Axelrod: the needs of the many outweigh the
needs of the few
Gregory: will you issue an ultimatum?
Axelrod: maybe
Gregory: will Obama ram it through?
Axelrod: he will fight
Gregory: but not demand it
Axelrod: jesus you are tiresome
Gregory: dood you passed a stimulus -
where are the jobs?
Axelrod: this is the worst recession in decades fool
Gregory: but you passed the stimulus
and unemployment went up
Axelrod: that's called economics 101 david look it up
Gregory: Buffet says we need more stimulus
Axelrod: well maybe we do
Gregory: so commit right now
Axelrod: you are an eminently silly person
Gregory: can you really engage with Iran since they
are acting like crazy people?
Axelrod: good point dancin dave but that's precisely why we have to talk to them
Gregory: but Members Only is all up in our face
Axelrod: who gives a fuck
Gregory: should there be consequences for
beating protestors?
Axelrod: if we really hated them we could send them the white house press corps
Gregory: what about Gov Sanford?
Axelrod: i don't give a fig about that loon
Gregory: midterm elections?
Axelrod: we would be in trouble if the GOP weren't the biggest bunch of dicks i have ever seen
Gregory: give me an example of their dickishness
Axelrod: well to be clear we will work with them on things like immigration but they have a tendency to be a little insane
Gregory: OMG you let Nico Pitney ask a question just because he has better sources than Chuck Todd
Axelrod: oh give me a fucking break
Gregory: but that's not democracy - a truly free country has an uninformed press
Axelrod: jesus christ
Gregory: was the significance of michael
jackson significant?
Axelrod: i heard you were a moron
[break]
Gregory: OMG after I repeatedly pressed him Axelrod said he might have another stimulus!
Graham: it’s was so very very sad - when
Obama passed a stimulus package he was just like Karl Rove
Gregory: clearly it was oversold!
Graham: I’m so upset at Obama’s failures to get Republicans to support him
[ wipes away tears ]
Gregory: so Obama has failed?
Romney: he failed to succeed to fail
Gregory: should Sanford resign?
Graham: why - just because he disappeared from the state and fled to his mistress in Argentina?
Gregory: um, yes
Graham: oh that's silly and I'm the Godfather!
Romney: whether he resigns is for
him and his family
Gregory: jesus christ he's the governor and he vanished from the state without telling anyone!
Romney: this is about a poor family suffering
Gregory: it’s not about an affair it’s about a Governor skulking around like Tim Matheson in Fletch
Romney: well that is a good point
Gregory: is the GOP still a party of values?
Graham: we're a party of sinners
Gregory: we all know that
Graham: but we're a party of good things and it's good to be good
Gregory: you voted for impeachment
Graham: yes but Clinton was very crude
Gregory: talk to me about family values
Romney: the GOP aspires to higher conduct for example we don't like it when men and women love each other
Gregory: but you sound like hypocrites
Romney: yes but must still unite in American around our hate for gay people
Graham: well Mitt I think it's stupid to say we're for families and Dems are not - I mean look at us and look at Obama
Romney: erp [ reboots self ]
Graham: the GOP would be in trouble but Obama is just like Karl Rove - so we're back in the game baby!
Gregory: Mitt you are dumb but you have big shoulders - are you running for President?
Romney: damm right - I'm going to win on school choice, increasing global warming, tax swaps and the other great ideas of Charles Krauthammer
Gregory: what about Sarah Palin?
Graham: who?
Gregory: who are your leaders then
Graham: me, John McCain, young people who will revolt against being given health care
Gregory: when do you stage your comeback?
Graham: 20 years from now
Gregory: will Obama get a public plan?
Graham: no that will nationalize health care - we will instead have a massive subsidy for health insurers
Romney: we can insure everyone without evil government
Gregory: but you lost on climate change
Graham: only because Obama is beating people up just like Hitler
Gregory: Obama is withdrawing troops from Iraq
like he said he would
Romney: no fair Obama is just doing what Bush was going to do if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!
Gregory: is Obama no longer passive and weak?
Graham: yes - and who better to judge than me?
Gregory: good point - what about
prolonged detention?
Graham: i think Bush should get a fair trial dave
Gregory: no i mean for Gitmo detainees
Graham: oh yeah sure whatever
[ break ]
Romney: [ removes battery, powers down ]
Gregory: wow that Sanford is a real piece
of work isn't he
Brooks: this is entirely excusable i mean he works hard and he is lonely white man
Gregory: he also sounds like a bad governor
Murphy: inside baseball blah blah blah
Gregory: one could almost think that Republicans are as bad as Democrats
Dionne: being a DC pundit i hate the idea of
people having sex at all
Myers: maybe he was a having a midlife crisis Brooksie but he also seems pretty dumb
Murphy: the Presidential race should
be very interesting
Gregory: yes the upcoming election
will be fascinating
Dionne: doods we just had a presidential election!
Brooks: the road back is to be boring - so we need
to nominate Mitch Daniels
Gregory: are you serious
Brooks: we may also need to deemphasize selfishness a little
Murphy: Obama is a terrible leftist which is bad for us because we will win the next elections too easily just being jerks
Dionne: Reagan is dead doods
Brooks: is he?
Dionne: Sanford turned down the stimulus
- that's the real scandal
Gregory: Dee Dee Obama is popular and successful on the one hand but then on the other hand Lindsay Graham doesn't like him so is he a total failure?
Myers: i want access to your brain dave
Gregory: will Obama fight for a public plan?
Murphy: it's a great tragedy that we may not require people to buy insurance and then funnel government money to insurers
Gregory: indeed it is
Murphy: single payer would crush the republicans because it would be popular but it would hurt Obama because I would haz a sad
Brooks: we should just give up trying to have any health care and start again in 20 years
Dionne: the GOP is desperate but guess what it's too fucking late - we're getting a public plan and you all are going to have to suck on it
Myers: we tried to ram a plan through in 1993
and it failed
Murphy: the great tragedy of Obama is that he
could pass George Bush's legislation but he
just won't do it
Brooks: i agree it's mystifying why he is not
doing what i want
Gregory: but Obama is a failure because he keeps failing to stem baseless GOP criticism of him which i repeat endlessly
Dionne: i can't improve on that Dave
****************************
Written by Culture of Truth
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The Chris Matthews Show - June 28, 2009
*************************
Matthews: OMG Obama's health care plan
could have saved Michael Jackson!
Rather: you can put a frog in a skillet
but you can't make it dance
Kay: there can be no consensus between insurance companies and the non-bloodsucking American community
Cooper: he's trying to avoid bill clinton's mistakes
Tweety: Sanford should have tried that!
Ignatius: giving people health care will bankrupt the country
Matthews: but insurers are the best!
Ignatius: at making money, yes
Kay: you may get Snowe and Collins on board
Tweety: you maniacs you blew it up!
Matthews: OMG Obama is smokin'!
White House Press Corp: We are shameless on pressing this very very important issue after all it's almost like going to war!
Rather: we should report on this because Obama’s smoking has a great impact young people considering losing a limb in Iraq!
Matthews: I am optimistic about Iran!
Ignatius: that's because you are a idiot
Matthews: but the Supreme Leader!
Ignatius: Diana Ross?
Matthews: yeah!
Ignatius: long-term the Ayatollah is fucked
Tweety: should Obama try to crack them
like an egg and refuse to negotiate
Kay: that won’t help
Matthews: Obama's very dainty and gay
Cooper: you can't work the Iranians
Chris they're fuckers!
Rather: you can teach a donkey math but don't make him Fermat
Matthews: do they realize the West will prevent them from having the bomb?
Kay: hey all the parties in Iran are assholes it's just that one side stole an election
Cooper: true but Mousavi wanted to
reach out to the West
Ignatius: we were all set to talk and then this
crazy shit happened
Matthews: tell me about Michael Jackson!
Kay: he taught my generation to dance badly
Cooper: when I fled repression i took a teddy
bear and "Off the Wall"
Rather: MJ led directly to the election of Obama and was the face of America to the rest of the world
Chris: wow!
Ignatius: i tried to moonwalk
Matthews: good god you are the whitest man I know
Cooper: it was weird he was a young black man and then he turned into a cross between Liza Minelli and Joel Grey
Matthews: what an American story!
Matthews: does the GOP have any credibility
on family values?
Kay: oh they'll still ride that hypocrisy horse
Rather: the Dems are just as much to blame
Cooper: they're all incorrigible
Ignatius: um doods Obama has family values and the GOP it appears does not
Matthews: ha!
*****************************
Posted by Culture of Truth
Matthews: OMG Obama's health care plan
could have saved Michael Jackson!
Rather: you can put a frog in a skillet
but you can't make it dance
Kay: there can be no consensus between insurance companies and the non-bloodsucking American community
Cooper: he's trying to avoid bill clinton's mistakes
Tweety: Sanford should have tried that!
Ignatius: giving people health care will bankrupt the country
Matthews: but insurers are the best!
Ignatius: at making money, yes
Kay: you may get Snowe and Collins on board
Tweety: you maniacs you blew it up!
Matthews: OMG Obama is smokin'!
White House Press Corp: We are shameless on pressing this very very important issue after all it's almost like going to war!
Rather: we should report on this because Obama’s smoking has a great impact young people considering losing a limb in Iraq!
Matthews: I am optimistic about Iran!
Ignatius: that's because you are a idiot
Matthews: but the Supreme Leader!
Ignatius: Diana Ross?
Matthews: yeah!
Ignatius: long-term the Ayatollah is fucked
Tweety: should Obama try to crack them
like an egg and refuse to negotiate
Kay: that won’t help
Matthews: Obama's very dainty and gay
Cooper: you can't work the Iranians
Chris they're fuckers!
Rather: you can teach a donkey math but don't make him Fermat
Matthews: do they realize the West will prevent them from having the bomb?
Kay: hey all the parties in Iran are assholes it's just that one side stole an election
Cooper: true but Mousavi wanted to
reach out to the West
Ignatius: we were all set to talk and then this
crazy shit happened
Matthews: tell me about Michael Jackson!
Kay: he taught my generation to dance badly
Cooper: when I fled repression i took a teddy
bear and "Off the Wall"
Rather: MJ led directly to the election of Obama and was the face of America to the rest of the world
Chris: wow!
Ignatius: i tried to moonwalk
Matthews: good god you are the whitest man I know
Cooper: it was weird he was a young black man and then he turned into a cross between Liza Minelli and Joel Grey
Matthews: what an American story!
Matthews: does the GOP have any credibility
on family values?
Kay: oh they'll still ride that hypocrisy horse
Rather: the Dems are just as much to blame
Cooper: they're all incorrigible
Ignatius: um doods Obama has family values and the GOP it appears does not
Matthews: ha!
*****************************
Posted by Culture of Truth
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Obama Press Conference - June 23, 2009
Obama Press Conference
June 23, 2009
***************************
Obama: Ok I want to say at the outset that of course I condemn the psychotics beating protestors in Iran and there is a retrograde group of knuckleheads who want to claim the US is interfering in the Iran and inciting violence and seize their country and overthrow their government - I am talking of course about the Republican party
Now I also want to talk about something equally controversial - windows and windmills - let me give a shout out to Waxman and Dingell and that guy on the agricultural committee
AG guy: woo hoo that’s me
Obama: and thirdly of course I want to talk about health care and how it can be free if we just stop giving out those free pens to doctors and lollipops for ever child?? I don’t fucking think so!
Now I know many Americans are happy that they have any health insurance at all, but you should know eventually health care costs will exceed the entire federal budget and then the sun will go nova and swallow up the earth
Q: will you still talk to Iran what with all the killing?
Obama: well sure it looks bad but I don't hate the Persians or their wacky religion all I want is for them to pull their godamm heads out of their asses
Nico Suave!
Nico: i have a question from a genuine Iranian - when do plan on betraying the brave Iranians?
Obama: whoa hold on there Nico - I didn't observe the election and it's not for the U.S. to say who won
Nico: awwwww
Obama: but look if you want to know who won an election you don’t look to see who has the best bat-wielding motorcycle riding maniacs
Mel Gibson: shit!
Q: Grade the Fed for me
Obama: I won't say anything bad about Bernanke - however he is a idiot and this is all his fault
Q: oh ok then
Obama: since then he has done a good job of taking the heat for me so that's good
Obama: hells my dog Bo got a credit card with
a $5,000 limit!
Q: wow
Obama: I know! I'm not paying for his night out on the town with some bitch he met on Petfinder!
Q: Bailouts?
Obama: if we had more laws in place before maybe this wouldn't have goddamm well happened!
Q: what took you so long to express your meaningless outrage about an election in a far-off country where we have a history of illegal interference?
Obama: because I'm not a total dumbass and didn't want to give the Iranian government ammunition!
Q: that's Reagan's job
Obama: exactly!
Q: will you still invite Iranian officials over for
the 4th of July?
Obama: if they want to - I'm serving hot
dogs and beer
Q: Will a public plan destroy America?
Obama: Look dipshit premiums are doubling every 9 years - at this rate they will swallow the whole planet!
Obama: oh I know everyone is worried about the deficit - well guess what fuckers it's because we have really high costs and a shitty system with 47 million uninsured
Q: oh
Obama: i want to cut costs, treat people, and spend money efficiently
Q: like how?
Obama: like take it away from insurance companies who waste it on trips to Vegas - yeah i said it Goodman!
Obama: jesus h christ you've got people out there who think they are insured and suddenly they're out 50,000 motherfuckin dollars!
Q: woo
Obama: so I'm talking about disciplining those fucking insurance companies - I'm gonna get medieval on their asses!
Obama: I mean why not offer people the choice of care that fucking members of Congress get!!
Q: but that will drive private bloodsuckers out of business
Obama: well fuck if they can't compete with the government who they say can't do anything right then maybe they fucking suck
Potato Chip!
Chip: My friend Lindsay says you are timid and weak and John McCain says you are gay
Obama: what do you think Chippy?
[ full bore glare]
Obama: Lindsay said i was weak? that asexual freak?
Chip: and John McCain
Obama: how nice for John but I won the fucking election meaning I'm the fuckin’ President and Lindsay is a big baby and by the way if I took the side of the protestors the regime would say there were being paid by the CIA
Chip: so what you said just now helps the regime!
Obama: oh fuck off
C Todd!
Todd: aren't you surrendering to the regime?
Obama: hey i know you have the attention span of a puppy on crack but I don't - next question!
Tappy!
J-Tapp: will you sign a public plan or not?
Obama: that's your fucking question?
J Tappp: no I have another
Obama: who the fuck are you Tip Tap the ombudsman?
Tapp: ok Spock won't you drive poor little businesses out?
Obama: don't snark me dood
Obama: Look we all know insurers only have one job - take your money today and tell your to fuck off tomorrow
But look if you believe in the free market and then what the fuck are you worried about?
Tapp: but you promised that employers would keep health insurance forever
Obama: no I never did
Tapp: i know that
Q: you signed an anti-smoking bill - will the bill you signed stop you from smoking?
Obama: oh i see you think you're very clever
Q: no it's a serious question
Obama: no it wasn't and you know it - Macarena!
Macarena: talk to me about Chile
Obama: i like mine with beans, meat, and a lot of heat
Q: no the country
Obama: oh that - hey Chile may bail out California which would be awesome
Q: Brazil?
Obama: well that's very different - their President has the full Brazilian which is very cool
Hans: do we need another stimulus?
Obama: hey I've said it before - no on knew just how shitty Bush's economy was and we still haven't recovered
Obama: my stimulus is working and it will keep working but we are after all in a little Depression
Now I watch Chris Matthews moan about poll numbers and I say hey fucker we're doing everything we can but I don't blame people for being unhappy - I mean just look at Jon and Kate - this is a tough time in America!
April: black Americans are living through a real Depression dood if you won't help who will!?
Obama: Pete Hoekstra's never wins at video poker so he knows how they feel
April: true
Obama: but never fear we are training young people to text and e-mail
Suzanne: did you see the video of Neda??
Obama: yeah it's not as much fun as all the cat videos on YouTube
Suzanne: will you let people in Iran vote?
Obama: i support freedom of speech unlike some previous administrations I could mention - but this is about Iran not America and as Martin Luther King said the Justice League will prevail!
*************
Posted by Culture of Truth
June 23, 2009
***************************
Obama: Ok I want to say at the outset that of course I condemn the psychotics beating protestors in Iran and there is a retrograde group of knuckleheads who want to claim the US is interfering in the Iran and inciting violence and seize their country and overthrow their government - I am talking of course about the Republican party
Now I also want to talk about something equally controversial - windows and windmills - let me give a shout out to Waxman and Dingell and that guy on the agricultural committee
AG guy: woo hoo that’s me
Obama: and thirdly of course I want to talk about health care and how it can be free if we just stop giving out those free pens to doctors and lollipops for ever child?? I don’t fucking think so!
Now I know many Americans are happy that they have any health insurance at all, but you should know eventually health care costs will exceed the entire federal budget and then the sun will go nova and swallow up the earth
Q: will you still talk to Iran what with all the killing?
Obama: well sure it looks bad but I don't hate the Persians or their wacky religion all I want is for them to pull their godamm heads out of their asses
Nico Suave!
Nico: i have a question from a genuine Iranian - when do plan on betraying the brave Iranians?
Obama: whoa hold on there Nico - I didn't observe the election and it's not for the U.S. to say who won
Nico: awwwww
Obama: but look if you want to know who won an election you don’t look to see who has the best bat-wielding motorcycle riding maniacs
Mel Gibson: shit!
Q: Grade the Fed for me
Obama: I won't say anything bad about Bernanke - however he is a idiot and this is all his fault
Q: oh ok then
Obama: since then he has done a good job of taking the heat for me so that's good
Obama: hells my dog Bo got a credit card with
a $5,000 limit!
Q: wow
Obama: I know! I'm not paying for his night out on the town with some bitch he met on Petfinder!
Q: Bailouts?
Obama: if we had more laws in place before maybe this wouldn't have goddamm well happened!
Q: what took you so long to express your meaningless outrage about an election in a far-off country where we have a history of illegal interference?
Obama: because I'm not a total dumbass and didn't want to give the Iranian government ammunition!
Q: that's Reagan's job
Obama: exactly!
Q: will you still invite Iranian officials over for
the 4th of July?
Obama: if they want to - I'm serving hot
dogs and beer
Q: Will a public plan destroy America?
Obama: Look dipshit premiums are doubling every 9 years - at this rate they will swallow the whole planet!
Obama: oh I know everyone is worried about the deficit - well guess what fuckers it's because we have really high costs and a shitty system with 47 million uninsured
Q: oh
Obama: i want to cut costs, treat people, and spend money efficiently
Q: like how?
Obama: like take it away from insurance companies who waste it on trips to Vegas - yeah i said it Goodman!
Obama: jesus h christ you've got people out there who think they are insured and suddenly they're out 50,000 motherfuckin dollars!
Q: woo
Obama: so I'm talking about disciplining those fucking insurance companies - I'm gonna get medieval on their asses!
Obama: I mean why not offer people the choice of care that fucking members of Congress get!!
Q: but that will drive private bloodsuckers out of business
Obama: well fuck if they can't compete with the government who they say can't do anything right then maybe they fucking suck
Potato Chip!
Chip: My friend Lindsay says you are timid and weak and John McCain says you are gay
Obama: what do you think Chippy?
[ full bore glare]
Obama: Lindsay said i was weak? that asexual freak?
Chip: and John McCain
Obama: how nice for John but I won the fucking election meaning I'm the fuckin’ President and Lindsay is a big baby and by the way if I took the side of the protestors the regime would say there were being paid by the CIA
Chip: so what you said just now helps the regime!
Obama: oh fuck off
C Todd!
Todd: aren't you surrendering to the regime?
Obama: hey i know you have the attention span of a puppy on crack but I don't - next question!
Tappy!
J-Tapp: will you sign a public plan or not?
Obama: that's your fucking question?
J Tappp: no I have another
Obama: who the fuck are you Tip Tap the ombudsman?
Tapp: ok Spock won't you drive poor little businesses out?
Obama: don't snark me dood
Obama: Look we all know insurers only have one job - take your money today and tell your to fuck off tomorrow
But look if you believe in the free market and then what the fuck are you worried about?
Tapp: but you promised that employers would keep health insurance forever
Obama: no I never did
Tapp: i know that
Q: you signed an anti-smoking bill - will the bill you signed stop you from smoking?
Obama: oh i see you think you're very clever
Q: no it's a serious question
Obama: no it wasn't and you know it - Macarena!
Macarena: talk to me about Chile
Obama: i like mine with beans, meat, and a lot of heat
Q: no the country
Obama: oh that - hey Chile may bail out California which would be awesome
Q: Brazil?
Obama: well that's very different - their President has the full Brazilian which is very cool
Hans: do we need another stimulus?
Obama: hey I've said it before - no on knew just how shitty Bush's economy was and we still haven't recovered
Obama: my stimulus is working and it will keep working but we are after all in a little Depression
Now I watch Chris Matthews moan about poll numbers and I say hey fucker we're doing everything we can but I don't blame people for being unhappy - I mean just look at Jon and Kate - this is a tough time in America!
April: black Americans are living through a real Depression dood if you won't help who will!?
Obama: Pete Hoekstra's never wins at video poker so he knows how they feel
April: true
Obama: but never fear we are training young people to text and e-mail
Suzanne: did you see the video of Neda??
Obama: yeah it's not as much fun as all the cat videos on YouTube
Suzanne: will you let people in Iran vote?
Obama: i support freedom of speech unlike some previous administrations I could mention - but this is about Iran not America and as Martin Luther King said the Justice League will prevail!
*************
Posted by Culture of Truth
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Meet The Press with Sam Nunn and Fred Thompson - June 21, 2009
Meet The Press
June 21, 2009
Guests:
Israel Prime Minister Netanyahu
Former Sen. Sam Nunn
Former Sen. Fred Thompson
**********************************
Gregory: the Supreme Leader says
the protestors are terrorists
Arouzi: that’s right so now Bush will
waterboard them
Gregory: no I mean the Ayatollah in Iran
Arouzi: oh yeah him too
Gregory: so the protestors are beaten and
the journalists are harassed?
Arouzi: it’s crazy - I haven’t seen anything like this since Republican convention in New York
Gregory: so why is the Iranian tv showing
the protestors?
Engel: they call them domestic terrorists and
claim they’re attacking the police
Gregory: oh they’re the Bill Ayres of Iran
Engel: Mousavi wants to be a martyr to freedom
Gregory: Now he knows how Pete Hoekstra
feels - today he ordered a non-fat skinny
latte and got cream
Gregory: Should Obama Dare to be Stupid and do what the GOP wants him to do on Iran?
Engel: no he shouldn’t and you know what I
heard - American doesn’t get to decide what happens in Iran!
Gregory: No!
Engel: Yes!
Gregory: is this is the beginning of the end
of the regime?
Arouzi: Mousavi and the Government are in
a fight to the death
Gregory: this looks bad for the crazy fundamentalists
Engel: Ahmadinejad claims this is all a revolution fueled from the outside
Gregory: so naturally Obama should take from McCain’s advice and play right into their hands
Engel: right
Gregory: fascinating
[ break ]
Gregory: Bibi what’s going on?
Netanyahu: the Iranian regime are a
bunch of fucktards
Gregory: this is all about America of course -- so what should Obama do?
Netanyahu: he already said he supports a free Iran and that’s enough
Gregory: Bibi that’s not good enough! Doesn’t America have a unique role to play in a country thousands of miles away where they once overthrew a democratic government and is held in wide suspicion if not outright hatred?
Netanyahu: your grasp of international politics is
indeed keen Greggers
Gregory: Is this a game changer for Iran’s nukes?
Netanyahu: I talked to Obama and he said we are going to prevent Iran from getting nukes and that’s final
Gregory: How are we going to defang Iran??
Netanyahu: we’re going to kick some
fucking Iranain ass
Gregory: frawesome
Netanyahu: hey if Iran gets nukes it could spawn
a nuke arms race in the middle east
Gregory: oh noes!
Netanyahu: no its true
Gregory: but you have nukes
Netanyahu: yes but god gave them to the Jewish people 3,000 years ago
Gregory: did the Bush strategy work?
Netanyahu: yeah it’s worked wonders
Gregory: what’s the winning formula for peace
Netanyahu: it’s a secret like the formula for
Coke or the KFC 11 herbs and spices
Gregory: give me a hint
Netanyahu: The Palestinians have to do something
they’re not gonna want to do
Gregory: host a morning talk show?
Netanyahu: something like that
Gregory: Senator you’re a former bad actor and no one likes you - so give us all your expertise on Iran
Thompson: Obama’s not taking a strong stand for freedom and when he doesn’t come from the heart
Gregory: in my opinion hasn’t done enough in country thousands of miles away
Nunn: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: but these protests are all about
the United States
Nunn: no they are not fluffyhead
Gregory: so sad
Gregory: Fred - George Bush called them the Axis
of Evil and it didn’t work
Thompson: George Bush was a wimp and weak
and a cream puff
Gregory: interesting I didn’t know you this crazy
Thompson: we need support the freedom loving protestors and bomb the fuck out of Iran
Nunn: I agree with Fred we need to take tough steps by sitting down with Iranians and telling them if they don’t stand for freedom we are going to pulverize their cities and kill their children
Gregory: should we declare war on North Korea
Nunn: this is a jump ball
Gregory: well Obama does play basketball
Gregory: is Obama’s health care plan
on life support?
Thompson: yes it’s going to cost one million dollars which shows no one has any clue I mean a million is what I got paid to say stupid shit on Law & Order
Gregory: it’s a trillion actually
Thompson: What!? Holy shit!
Gregory: this is very scary
Thompson: there will be rationing and deaths
Nunn: look the old bed was on fire when the
dog went out hunting
Gregory: um what
Nunn: if you want the cookies and ice cream
you gotta milk the cow
Gregory: gosh it’s like being with two charming
old senile grandpas
Gregory: [ high pitched voice ] the deficit!! Omg!!!
Thompson: demmit we could just send out a few vouchers and cut entitlements and everything would be fine grrrrrrrr
Gregory: have the Republicans found
their voice finally?
Thompson: yes giving people health care is crazy
Gregory: there is high unemployment 5 month into his presidency - is Obama the worst President ever?
Thompson: I am forced to agree David Gregory
Gregory: should we let gays serve honorably which they already do but in secret?
Nunn: no we’re in the middle of 2 wars
Gregory: so maybe we need all the good soldiers
we can get
Nunn: hey if I can’t have gay sex why should
they have all the fun?
Gregory: i hear you sammy
Posted by Culture of Truth
******************
June 21, 2009
Guests:
Israel Prime Minister Netanyahu
Former Sen. Sam Nunn
Former Sen. Fred Thompson
**********************************
Gregory: the Supreme Leader says
the protestors are terrorists
Arouzi: that’s right so now Bush will
waterboard them
Gregory: no I mean the Ayatollah in Iran
Arouzi: oh yeah him too
Gregory: so the protestors are beaten and
the journalists are harassed?
Arouzi: it’s crazy - I haven’t seen anything like this since Republican convention in New York
Gregory: so why is the Iranian tv showing
the protestors?
Engel: they call them domestic terrorists and
claim they’re attacking the police
Gregory: oh they’re the Bill Ayres of Iran
Engel: Mousavi wants to be a martyr to freedom
Gregory: Now he knows how Pete Hoekstra
feels - today he ordered a non-fat skinny
latte and got cream
Gregory: Should Obama Dare to be Stupid and do what the GOP wants him to do on Iran?
Engel: no he shouldn’t and you know what I
heard - American doesn’t get to decide what happens in Iran!
Gregory: No!
Engel: Yes!
Gregory: is this is the beginning of the end
of the regime?
Arouzi: Mousavi and the Government are in
a fight to the death
Gregory: this looks bad for the crazy fundamentalists
Engel: Ahmadinejad claims this is all a revolution fueled from the outside
Gregory: so naturally Obama should take from McCain’s advice and play right into their hands
Engel: right
Gregory: fascinating
[ break ]
Gregory: Bibi what’s going on?
Netanyahu: the Iranian regime are a
bunch of fucktards
Gregory: this is all about America of course -- so what should Obama do?
Netanyahu: he already said he supports a free Iran and that’s enough
Gregory: Bibi that’s not good enough! Doesn’t America have a unique role to play in a country thousands of miles away where they once overthrew a democratic government and is held in wide suspicion if not outright hatred?
Netanyahu: your grasp of international politics is
indeed keen Greggers
Gregory: Is this a game changer for Iran’s nukes?
Netanyahu: I talked to Obama and he said we are going to prevent Iran from getting nukes and that’s final
Gregory: How are we going to defang Iran??
Netanyahu: we’re going to kick some
fucking Iranain ass
Gregory: frawesome
Netanyahu: hey if Iran gets nukes it could spawn
a nuke arms race in the middle east
Gregory: oh noes!
Netanyahu: no its true
Gregory: but you have nukes
Netanyahu: yes but god gave them to the Jewish people 3,000 years ago
Gregory: did the Bush strategy work?
Netanyahu: yeah it’s worked wonders
Gregory: what’s the winning formula for peace
Netanyahu: it’s a secret like the formula for
Coke or the KFC 11 herbs and spices
Gregory: give me a hint
Netanyahu: The Palestinians have to do something
they’re not gonna want to do
Gregory: host a morning talk show?
Netanyahu: something like that
Gregory: Senator you’re a former bad actor and no one likes you - so give us all your expertise on Iran
Thompson: Obama’s not taking a strong stand for freedom and when he doesn’t come from the heart
Gregory: in my opinion hasn’t done enough in country thousands of miles away
Nunn: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: but these protests are all about
the United States
Nunn: no they are not fluffyhead
Gregory: so sad
Gregory: Fred - George Bush called them the Axis
of Evil and it didn’t work
Thompson: George Bush was a wimp and weak
and a cream puff
Gregory: interesting I didn’t know you this crazy
Thompson: we need support the freedom loving protestors and bomb the fuck out of Iran
Nunn: I agree with Fred we need to take tough steps by sitting down with Iranians and telling them if they don’t stand for freedom we are going to pulverize their cities and kill their children
Gregory: should we declare war on North Korea
Nunn: this is a jump ball
Gregory: well Obama does play basketball
Gregory: is Obama’s health care plan
on life support?
Thompson: yes it’s going to cost one million dollars which shows no one has any clue I mean a million is what I got paid to say stupid shit on Law & Order
Gregory: it’s a trillion actually
Thompson: What!? Holy shit!
Gregory: this is very scary
Thompson: there will be rationing and deaths
Nunn: look the old bed was on fire when the
dog went out hunting
Gregory: um what
Nunn: if you want the cookies and ice cream
you gotta milk the cow
Gregory: gosh it’s like being with two charming
old senile grandpas
Gregory: [ high pitched voice ] the deficit!! Omg!!!
Thompson: demmit we could just send out a few vouchers and cut entitlements and everything would be fine grrrrrrrr
Gregory: have the Republicans found
their voice finally?
Thompson: yes giving people health care is crazy
Gregory: there is high unemployment 5 month into his presidency - is Obama the worst President ever?
Thompson: I am forced to agree David Gregory
Gregory: should we let gays serve honorably which they already do but in secret?
Nunn: no we’re in the middle of 2 wars
Gregory: so maybe we need all the good soldiers
we can get
Nunn: hey if I can’t have gay sex why should
they have all the fun?
Gregory: i hear you sammy
Posted by Culture of Truth
******************
Sunday, June 14, 2009
60 Minutes - June 14, 2009
60 Minutes - June 14, 2009
Harry Markopolos on Harry Madoff
***********************************
Kroft: how many times did you
alert the SEC about Madoff
Markopolos: eleventy times
Kroft: what happened
Markopolos: they gave him an award
Kroft: how long did it take you to figure
out he was a fraud
Markopolos: five minutes
Kroft: why so long?
Markopolos: i used a slide rule
Kroft: maybe he was just naturally good
Markopolos: yeah just like Sammy Sosa
Kroft: you wanted a whistleblower award
Markopolos: i discovered this in 2001 and
by 2005 - i was waving semaphores in front
of SEC headquarters
Kroft: what happened
Markopolos: they said Ayn Rand told
them to leave Bernie alone
Kroft: who knew he was cheating?
Markopolos: oh everyone knew
Kroft: really?
Markopolos: oh yeah in the men's bathroom
at Goldman Sachs it said "Bernie Madoff
is a Big Cheat"
Markopolos: the SEC investigated
Madoff for a whole year
Kroft: what happened?
Markopolos: they found out he wore
brown shoes with a blue suit
Kroft: bastards!
Madoff: it's impossible to cheat
with the SEC watching you
SEC: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kroft: what's wrong with the SEC
Markopolos: it's full of lawyers
SEC Lawyer:
[ removes shoes and socks, counts to 20 ]
Markopolos: it was a big 'affinity scam'
Kroft: so who would you scam for example
Markopolos: the Greeks
Kroft: but you didn't
Markopolos: oh no those fuckers will kill you
Kroft: so who are the biggest suckers in America?
Markopolos: people in Greenwich Connecticut
Kroft: what do the brilliant
feeder funds guys do?
Markopolos: they research and vouch for funds
Kroft: how did that work out
Boies: they gave all their client's money to Bernie Madoff and it vanished
Kroft: but they lost too
Markopolos: yes they were forced sell their homes and move to luxury homes in the Caribbean
Kroft: oh noe
Kroft: well at least the SEC finally
caught Bernie and stopped him
Markopolos: no he turned himself in
Kroft: that's odd
Markopolos: no that's how the SEC works - they like to wait until evildoers show up on their doorstep
Kroft: so it's like Bush and Bin Laden
Markopolos: right
**************************************
Posted by Culture of Truth
Harry Markopolos on Harry Madoff
***********************************
Kroft: how many times did you
alert the SEC about Madoff
Markopolos: eleventy times
Kroft: what happened
Markopolos: they gave him an award
Kroft: how long did it take you to figure
out he was a fraud
Markopolos: five minutes
Kroft: why so long?
Markopolos: i used a slide rule
Kroft: maybe he was just naturally good
Markopolos: yeah just like Sammy Sosa
Kroft: you wanted a whistleblower award
Markopolos: i discovered this in 2001 and
by 2005 - i was waving semaphores in front
of SEC headquarters
Kroft: what happened
Markopolos: they said Ayn Rand told
them to leave Bernie alone
Kroft: who knew he was cheating?
Markopolos: oh everyone knew
Kroft: really?
Markopolos: oh yeah in the men's bathroom
at Goldman Sachs it said "Bernie Madoff
is a Big Cheat"
Markopolos: the SEC investigated
Madoff for a whole year
Kroft: what happened?
Markopolos: they found out he wore
brown shoes with a blue suit
Kroft: bastards!
Madoff: it's impossible to cheat
with the SEC watching you
SEC: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kroft: what's wrong with the SEC
Markopolos: it's full of lawyers
SEC Lawyer:
[ removes shoes and socks, counts to 20 ]
Markopolos: it was a big 'affinity scam'
Kroft: so who would you scam for example
Markopolos: the Greeks
Kroft: but you didn't
Markopolos: oh no those fuckers will kill you
Kroft: so who are the biggest suckers in America?
Markopolos: people in Greenwich Connecticut
Kroft: what do the brilliant
feeder funds guys do?
Markopolos: they research and vouch for funds
Kroft: how did that work out
Boies: they gave all their client's money to Bernie Madoff and it vanished
Kroft: but they lost too
Markopolos: yes they were forced sell their homes and move to luxury homes in the Caribbean
Kroft: oh noe
Kroft: well at least the SEC finally
caught Bernie and stopped him
Markopolos: no he turned himself in
Kroft: that's odd
Markopolos: no that's how the SEC works - they like to wait until evildoers show up on their doorstep
Kroft: so it's like Bush and Bin Laden
Markopolos: right
**************************************
Posted by Culture of Truth
Meet the Press with Vice President Joe Biden - June 14, 2009
Meet The Press
June 14, 2009
Guests:
Vice President Joe Biden
Joe Scarborough
Mike Murphy
********************************************
Gregory: welcome back Jack
Biden: my name is Joe
Gregory: whatever
Biden: ok
Gregory: so did Members Only win the election in Iran or not
Biden: yeah he won like Bush won Florida in 2000
Gregory: so you’re saying he did win?
Biden: no you idiot
Gregory: but Ahmadinejad says he won
Biden: I find it unlikely he won Palm Beach considering he wasn’t even running in
the United States
Gregory: some would call that odd
Biden: The Supreme Leader has the final say
Gregory: the Ayatollah?
Biden: no buddy - Barack Obama
Gregory: Members Only seems emboldened
Biden: he protests a little too much I think
Gregory: Obama reached out and the Iranians
still voted for the Crazy guy
Biden: if you believe the so-called results
Gregory: well I do
Biden: yes I saw you dancing with Ahmadinejad
Gregory: just on “Iran’s Got Talent”
Biden: good luck on that by the way
Gregory: should Iran have nuclear power?
Biden: P5 + 1
Gregory: you sank may battleship!
Biden: you will stop their nukes?
Biden: God and Obama willing
Gregory: in that order?
Biden: not necessarily
Gregory: what about the lunatics in North Korea?
Biden: hell even the Chinese recognize
this guy is a total wacko
Gregory: what does he want?
Biden: who knows - we offered to
send him Madonna and A-Rod
Gregory: how did that go?
Biden: he asked for Angelina Jolie and
either Jon or Kate
Gregory: oh my
Biden: he’s a very tough negotiator
Gregory: you’re in charge of the
$800 million stimulus
Biden: frawsome baby!
Gregory: did you really create 100,000 jobs?
Biden: yes but they were all spades
Gregory: um what
Biden: but clean and articulate
Gregory: defend your job losses
Biden: hey we lost 300,000 jobs and
Bush lost 700,000
Gregory: but you’re still losing jobs
Biden: but losing them at a slower rate!
Gregory: so did you oversell the plan?
Biden: what if we did? it still worked
Gregory: but there are still
unemployed people in America!
Biden: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: regardless I still don’t like you
Biden: things are getting better
Gregory: that’s true - look at my hair
[ fluffs hair ]
Biden: we saved the fucking auto
industry for god’s sake
Gregory: but you haven’t spend enough
Biden: here Dave here’s 100 bucks
[ hands Dave a one hundred dollar bill ]
Gregory: wow a bennie gosh thanks jack
Biden: joe
Gregory: right
Biden: the spades are in the ground!
Gregory: oh dear
Gregory: OMG I just remembered
that the deficit matters!!
Biden: after 8 years this occurred to you
Gregory: exactly!
Biden: you are such a whore
Gregory: but the Washington Post
called for less spending!
Biden: what about the wars that
Fred Hiatt loves so much?
Gregory: well naturally not those wars
Biden: we’re going to repeal the Bush tax cuts
Gregory: which will make the debt worse!
Biden: are you huffing glue flufflyhead?
[ stops in mid-huffing ]
Gregory: um what?
Biden: get the hook on this clown
Gregory: how do you pay for
$1 trillion in health care??
Biden: we already pay for it dipshit
Gregory: but the taxes!
Biden: let the Democrats in Congress raise taxes
Gregory: we must save the insurance of course
Biden: fuck that shit
Gregory: do you want a public plan?
Biden: why not?
Gregory: Republicans say they can’t accept it
Biden: so what those fuckers in the minority
Gregory: but they have a majority of my heart
Biden: I think you are suffused
with Republican mitochlorians
Gregory: speaking of that it’s outrageous that you are increasing government and not giving free money to executives on welfare and regulating energy
Biden: so sad
Gregory: what achievements do you have to show?
Biden: we saved a million jobs fool
Gregory: what’s the exit strategy?
Biden: NOW you fucking ask that question!
Gregory: you gave money to AIG
Biden: no Bush did that
Gregory: no that’s different
- he gave me a funny nickname
Biden: of course
Gregory: you’re meddling in the natural
order of legal bankruptcy
Biden: which is pure of course
Gregory: Chapter 11 is God’s Law
Gregory: you are only making unconditional demands on Israel
Biden: that’s total bullshit
Gregory: nevertheless I say it
Biden: what a silly person you are
Gregory: ok name me a demand
you made on the muslims
Biden: they have to stop bombing innocent Israelis
Gregory: tell me - is the President a bad man?
Biden: shut the fuck up stupid
Gregory: do you have President’s ear?
Biden: yes and they huge
Gregory: um what?
Biden: and clean
Gregory: ha ha
Biden: I used to say stupid things to Supreme Court nominees in Committee and now I get to say them in the Oval Office
Gregory: that’s better for us all
Biden: indeed
Gregory: what’s up with the GOP
Biden: a bigger bunch of idiots I have never seen
Gregory: George McGovern?
Biden: fair point but it’s not even close dood
Gregory: what is the deal with Dick
Cheney - does he wish America was attacked?
Biden: he’s not wrong just evil
Gregory: your son is in Iraq
Biden: it’s good for politics
Gregory: should he run for office
Biden: hell I ran when I was 29 why not
Gregory: please offer your paens to Saint Timmy
Biden: it was bittersweet because you are stupid but then again it’s easier to debate you
Gregory: thank you
Biden: god you’re dumb
Gregory: me am smart
Biden: Timmy was a blue collar guy
Gregory: with a 7 million dollar house on Nantucket
Biden: the awesome
Gregory: I miss him so much - he stood for all of us
Gregory: and next to debate Obama’s
policies - two Republicans
Biden: [ sobs]
Gregory: I miss Tim too
[ break]
Gregory: talk to me about the Democrats
Scarborough: I thought George Bush was a reckless spender but paying for health care is crazee!!!
Murphy: sounds to me like he opened to the door to surrendering to Republicans on health care
Scarborough: wow Biden thinks the
Iran election was fixed!
Murphy: so why engage - we should bomb them
Gregory: good idea
Scarborough: this fixed election is all Obama’s fault for promoting freedom in Cairo
Gregory: we were sold this hideous stimulus but Obama has only saved 300,000 jobs
Scarborough: even I think
you’re full of shit David
Murphy: Obama is responsible for
mortgage rates adjusting
Scarborough: nancy pelosi!
Gregory: ok, how can the three of us rescue the Republican party?
Scarborough: I wrote a book called “Bush Was a Fucking Idiot”
Gregory: sounds good to me
Scarborough: Bush was a big liberal you know
Gregory: fascinating!
Scarborough: conservatives believe in less
debt and less government power
Gregory: since when?
Scarborough: George Herbert Walker Bush was that kind of conservative
Gregory: no, he had record debt
and mocked the ACLU
Scarborough: Ok Reagan then
Gregory: no he was big spender, taxer
and grew government
Scarborough: Nixon
Gregory: Nope socially we he was a
big spending liberal
Scarborough: Eisenhower?
Gregory: Try again
Scarborough: Hoover!
Gregory: that’s your model?
Murphy: right - we need to emulate
Herbert Hoover
Gregory: and what else
Murphy: accuse Democrats of being almost as bad as Republicans
Gregory: someone at my kid’s soccer game called me a GOP whore
Murphy: wow who was it?
Gregory: sadly it was my son!
Scarborough: sharp kid
Murphy: in retrospect Republicans shouldn’t have spent three decades being lying,
incompetent and racist
Gregory: how interesting
Scarborough: we should probably stop
idiotic name-calling
Murphy: indeed
[strokes ratty beard ]
Scarborough: look our only real problem is that Republicans are acting fucking crazy
Gregory: well good luck with that
*************************************
Posted by Culture of Truth
June 14, 2009
Guests:
Vice President Joe Biden
Joe Scarborough
Mike Murphy
********************************************
Gregory: welcome back Jack
Biden: my name is Joe
Gregory: whatever
Biden: ok
Gregory: so did Members Only win the election in Iran or not
Biden: yeah he won like Bush won Florida in 2000
Gregory: so you’re saying he did win?
Biden: no you idiot
Gregory: but Ahmadinejad says he won
Biden: I find it unlikely he won Palm Beach considering he wasn’t even running in
the United States
Gregory: some would call that odd
Biden: The Supreme Leader has the final say
Gregory: the Ayatollah?
Biden: no buddy - Barack Obama
Gregory: Members Only seems emboldened
Biden: he protests a little too much I think
Gregory: Obama reached out and the Iranians
still voted for the Crazy guy
Biden: if you believe the so-called results
Gregory: well I do
Biden: yes I saw you dancing with Ahmadinejad
Gregory: just on “Iran’s Got Talent”
Biden: good luck on that by the way
Gregory: should Iran have nuclear power?
Biden: P5 + 1
Gregory: you sank may battleship!
Biden: you will stop their nukes?
Biden: God and Obama willing
Gregory: in that order?
Biden: not necessarily
Gregory: what about the lunatics in North Korea?
Biden: hell even the Chinese recognize
this guy is a total wacko
Gregory: what does he want?
Biden: who knows - we offered to
send him Madonna and A-Rod
Gregory: how did that go?
Biden: he asked for Angelina Jolie and
either Jon or Kate
Gregory: oh my
Biden: he’s a very tough negotiator
Gregory: you’re in charge of the
$800 million stimulus
Biden: frawsome baby!
Gregory: did you really create 100,000 jobs?
Biden: yes but they were all spades
Gregory: um what
Biden: but clean and articulate
Gregory: defend your job losses
Biden: hey we lost 300,000 jobs and
Bush lost 700,000
Gregory: but you’re still losing jobs
Biden: but losing them at a slower rate!
Gregory: so did you oversell the plan?
Biden: what if we did? it still worked
Gregory: but there are still
unemployed people in America!
Biden: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: regardless I still don’t like you
Biden: things are getting better
Gregory: that’s true - look at my hair
[ fluffs hair ]
Biden: we saved the fucking auto
industry for god’s sake
Gregory: but you haven’t spend enough
Biden: here Dave here’s 100 bucks
[ hands Dave a one hundred dollar bill ]
Gregory: wow a bennie gosh thanks jack
Biden: joe
Gregory: right
Biden: the spades are in the ground!
Gregory: oh dear
Gregory: OMG I just remembered
that the deficit matters!!
Biden: after 8 years this occurred to you
Gregory: exactly!
Biden: you are such a whore
Gregory: but the Washington Post
called for less spending!
Biden: what about the wars that
Fred Hiatt loves so much?
Gregory: well naturally not those wars
Biden: we’re going to repeal the Bush tax cuts
Gregory: which will make the debt worse!
Biden: are you huffing glue flufflyhead?
[ stops in mid-huffing ]
Gregory: um what?
Biden: get the hook on this clown
Gregory: how do you pay for
$1 trillion in health care??
Biden: we already pay for it dipshit
Gregory: but the taxes!
Biden: let the Democrats in Congress raise taxes
Gregory: we must save the insurance of course
Biden: fuck that shit
Gregory: do you want a public plan?
Biden: why not?
Gregory: Republicans say they can’t accept it
Biden: so what those fuckers in the minority
Gregory: but they have a majority of my heart
Biden: I think you are suffused
with Republican mitochlorians
Gregory: speaking of that it’s outrageous that you are increasing government and not giving free money to executives on welfare and regulating energy
Biden: so sad
Gregory: what achievements do you have to show?
Biden: we saved a million jobs fool
Gregory: what’s the exit strategy?
Biden: NOW you fucking ask that question!
Gregory: you gave money to AIG
Biden: no Bush did that
Gregory: no that’s different
- he gave me a funny nickname
Biden: of course
Gregory: you’re meddling in the natural
order of legal bankruptcy
Biden: which is pure of course
Gregory: Chapter 11 is God’s Law
Gregory: you are only making unconditional demands on Israel
Biden: that’s total bullshit
Gregory: nevertheless I say it
Biden: what a silly person you are
Gregory: ok name me a demand
you made on the muslims
Biden: they have to stop bombing innocent Israelis
Gregory: tell me - is the President a bad man?
Biden: shut the fuck up stupid
Gregory: do you have President’s ear?
Biden: yes and they huge
Gregory: um what?
Biden: and clean
Gregory: ha ha
Biden: I used to say stupid things to Supreme Court nominees in Committee and now I get to say them in the Oval Office
Gregory: that’s better for us all
Biden: indeed
Gregory: what’s up with the GOP
Biden: a bigger bunch of idiots I have never seen
Gregory: George McGovern?
Biden: fair point but it’s not even close dood
Gregory: what is the deal with Dick
Cheney - does he wish America was attacked?
Biden: he’s not wrong just evil
Gregory: your son is in Iraq
Biden: it’s good for politics
Gregory: should he run for office
Biden: hell I ran when I was 29 why not
Gregory: please offer your paens to Saint Timmy
Biden: it was bittersweet because you are stupid but then again it’s easier to debate you
Gregory: thank you
Biden: god you’re dumb
Gregory: me am smart
Biden: Timmy was a blue collar guy
Gregory: with a 7 million dollar house on Nantucket
Biden: the awesome
Gregory: I miss him so much - he stood for all of us
Gregory: and next to debate Obama’s
policies - two Republicans
Biden: [ sobs]
Gregory: I miss Tim too
[ break]
Gregory: talk to me about the Democrats
Scarborough: I thought George Bush was a reckless spender but paying for health care is crazee!!!
Murphy: sounds to me like he opened to the door to surrendering to Republicans on health care
Scarborough: wow Biden thinks the
Iran election was fixed!
Murphy: so why engage - we should bomb them
Gregory: good idea
Scarborough: this fixed election is all Obama’s fault for promoting freedom in Cairo
Gregory: we were sold this hideous stimulus but Obama has only saved 300,000 jobs
Scarborough: even I think
you’re full of shit David
Murphy: Obama is responsible for
mortgage rates adjusting
Scarborough: nancy pelosi!
Gregory: ok, how can the three of us rescue the Republican party?
Scarborough: I wrote a book called “Bush Was a Fucking Idiot”
Gregory: sounds good to me
Scarborough: Bush was a big liberal you know
Gregory: fascinating!
Scarborough: conservatives believe in less
debt and less government power
Gregory: since when?
Scarborough: George Herbert Walker Bush was that kind of conservative
Gregory: no, he had record debt
and mocked the ACLU
Scarborough: Ok Reagan then
Gregory: no he was big spender, taxer
and grew government
Scarborough: Nixon
Gregory: Nope socially we he was a
big spending liberal
Scarborough: Eisenhower?
Gregory: Try again
Scarborough: Hoover!
Gregory: that’s your model?
Murphy: right - we need to emulate
Herbert Hoover
Gregory: and what else
Murphy: accuse Democrats of being almost as bad as Republicans
Gregory: someone at my kid’s soccer game called me a GOP whore
Murphy: wow who was it?
Gregory: sadly it was my son!
Scarborough: sharp kid
Murphy: in retrospect Republicans shouldn’t have spent three decades being lying,
incompetent and racist
Gregory: how interesting
Scarborough: we should probably stop
idiotic name-calling
Murphy: indeed
[strokes ratty beard ]
Scarborough: look our only real problem is that Republicans are acting fucking crazy
Gregory: well good luck with that
*************************************
Posted by Culture of Truth
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Brian Williams Inside the White House - June 3, 2009
Brian Williams Inside the Obama White House
June 3, 2009
Host: Brian Williams
Guests:
Barack Obama
Michelle Obama
********************************
Williams: Barack is crazy multitasker
Obama: damm right I am [ tweets,
reads book, pets dog ]
Williams: Rahm Emmanuel is the enforcer
Emmanuel: fuckin’ A!
[slaps Williams]
Williams: Joe Biden shares an office
with the Bo the dog
Biden: I don’t mind - I love dogs
Bo: arf arf arf
Williams: what did he say
Pixar: he said ‘remember what happened
to henry wallace’
Williams: Michelle has multiple jobs
Audience: wow for a second I thought you were
going to say something else
Williams: she’s a Harvard grad and hot MILF
Michelle: pet the dog Brian
Williams: can I play on the swing set
Michelle: first do your homework buddy
Williams: ok
Williams: she has a garden and the first
beehive since Mamie Eisenhower
Williams: Michelle will you hug me
Michelle: down boy
Williams: ok sorry
Michelle: I wuz talking to the dog
Williams: what is your message michelle
Michelle: life isn’t rocket science just
try hard and do yur best
Williams: also have a deep voice and perfect hair
Williams: speak for youself
Williams: [ deep voice ] ok
Michelle: William Hurt’s character in Broadcast
News was based on you, wasn’t he
Williams: is it that obvious?
Williams: you seem determined to raise
two well-adjusted daughters
Michelle: well of course
Williams: oh you should meet the Bush family
Michelle: I made Barack run for President
so he would be home more
Williams: naturally
Michelle: Barack and I work out together
Williams: show off
Williams: hey here’s the president and the dog
Barack: I taught him a trick - he’s a good boy!
Michelle: I caught him chewing up a
magazine but he’s a sweetie
Williams: yes he seems like a sweet dog
Barack: we weren’t talking about the dog
Williams: your daughter has epilepsy
Axelrod: just like Justice Roberts
Gibbs: we get to see our families again in 2016
Williams: wow I work 15 minutes a day
Rahm: all families must be crushed to
the agenda!! [ stabs table with knife ]
Williams: ok ok
Axelrod: yeah Rahm’s high strung
Obama: don’t talk to me about sacrifice - I campaigned non-stop for 2 fucking years
Williams: you got a swing set to be close to your kids
Obama: it’s not just for my daughters - Joe Biden can use it too
Williams: you uprooted your girls from Chicago
Obama: yes but my mother in law embodies Chicago - she was a point guard for the Bulls and was a linebacker for the Bears
Williams: wow there are kids in the White House just like when Kennedy was President
Obama: if they go on dates I for one will be relieved that the Secret Service is there
Williams: I hear you brother
Obama: men with guns guard my daughters dude
[ break ]
Williams: Dick Cheney says America is less safe because you are playing basketball instead of boiling people in oil
Obama: yes but the difference is people working in the White House now know what the fuck they are doing
Williams: General Motors is your Vietnam
Obama: well McNamara ran Ford to that makes perfect sense - if you’re a moron
Williams: you went on a date to New York City and California - why not visit America once in a while?
Obama: I’m trying to give Biden the pig flu
Williams: I sense that George Bush couldn’t
have given a speech to the muslim world
Obama: no he could have given such a speech
- it’s just that he would have sucked
Williams: true
Williams: a doctor was just shot in a church
-- what is your message to both sides - the pro murder and anti-murder side?
Obama: brian are you out of your fucking mind??
Williams: what about the gays and lesbians
and also homosexuals?
Obama: they should be able to visit each
other in the hospital - if they are lucky enough to have health insurance
Williams: what’s your economic plan?
Obama: we had to have a stimulus or we
risked a Great Depression
Williams: we already had one of those
Obama: ok another one
Williams: so what’s your long term goal?
Obama: we have to reform health care and gets costs down to France or Britain otherwise we might as well fold up the tents
Williams: you get many letters
Obama: yes from single mothers everywhere - look here’s one “I’m a Hispanic single mom and would like to be a Supreme Court Justice”
Williams: wow we deployed 35 cameras to capture this white house in full
Obama: I only saw 2
Williams: the other 33 were on the dog
************************************
June 3, 2009
Host: Brian Williams
Guests:
Barack Obama
Michelle Obama
********************************
Williams: Barack is crazy multitasker
Obama: damm right I am [ tweets,
reads book, pets dog ]
Williams: Rahm Emmanuel is the enforcer
Emmanuel: fuckin’ A!
[slaps Williams]
Williams: Joe Biden shares an office
with the Bo the dog
Biden: I don’t mind - I love dogs
Bo: arf arf arf
Williams: what did he say
Pixar: he said ‘remember what happened
to henry wallace’
Williams: Michelle has multiple jobs
Audience: wow for a second I thought you were
going to say something else
Williams: she’s a Harvard grad and hot MILF
Michelle: pet the dog Brian
Williams: can I play on the swing set
Michelle: first do your homework buddy
Williams: ok
Williams: she has a garden and the first
beehive since Mamie Eisenhower
Williams: Michelle will you hug me
Michelle: down boy
Williams: ok sorry
Michelle: I wuz talking to the dog
Williams: what is your message michelle
Michelle: life isn’t rocket science just
try hard and do yur best
Williams: also have a deep voice and perfect hair
Williams: speak for youself
Williams: [ deep voice ] ok
Michelle: William Hurt’s character in Broadcast
News was based on you, wasn’t he
Williams: is it that obvious?
Williams: you seem determined to raise
two well-adjusted daughters
Michelle: well of course
Williams: oh you should meet the Bush family
Michelle: I made Barack run for President
so he would be home more
Williams: naturally
Michelle: Barack and I work out together
Williams: show off
Williams: hey here’s the president and the dog
Barack: I taught him a trick - he’s a good boy!
Michelle: I caught him chewing up a
magazine but he’s a sweetie
Williams: yes he seems like a sweet dog
Barack: we weren’t talking about the dog
Williams: your daughter has epilepsy
Axelrod: just like Justice Roberts
Gibbs: we get to see our families again in 2016
Williams: wow I work 15 minutes a day
Rahm: all families must be crushed to
the agenda!! [ stabs table with knife ]
Williams: ok ok
Axelrod: yeah Rahm’s high strung
Obama: don’t talk to me about sacrifice - I campaigned non-stop for 2 fucking years
Williams: you got a swing set to be close to your kids
Obama: it’s not just for my daughters - Joe Biden can use it too
Williams: you uprooted your girls from Chicago
Obama: yes but my mother in law embodies Chicago - she was a point guard for the Bulls and was a linebacker for the Bears
Williams: wow there are kids in the White House just like when Kennedy was President
Obama: if they go on dates I for one will be relieved that the Secret Service is there
Williams: I hear you brother
Obama: men with guns guard my daughters dude
[ break ]
Williams: Dick Cheney says America is less safe because you are playing basketball instead of boiling people in oil
Obama: yes but the difference is people working in the White House now know what the fuck they are doing
Williams: General Motors is your Vietnam
Obama: well McNamara ran Ford to that makes perfect sense - if you’re a moron
Williams: you went on a date to New York City and California - why not visit America once in a while?
Obama: I’m trying to give Biden the pig flu
Williams: I sense that George Bush couldn’t
have given a speech to the muslim world
Obama: no he could have given such a speech
- it’s just that he would have sucked
Williams: true
Williams: a doctor was just shot in a church
-- what is your message to both sides - the pro murder and anti-murder side?
Obama: brian are you out of your fucking mind??
Williams: what about the gays and lesbians
and also homosexuals?
Obama: they should be able to visit each
other in the hospital - if they are lucky enough to have health insurance
Williams: what’s your economic plan?
Obama: we had to have a stimulus or we
risked a Great Depression
Williams: we already had one of those
Obama: ok another one
Williams: so what’s your long term goal?
Obama: we have to reform health care and gets costs down to France or Britain otherwise we might as well fold up the tents
Williams: you get many letters
Obama: yes from single mothers everywhere - look here’s one “I’m a Hispanic single mom and would like to be a Supreme Court Justice”
Williams: wow we deployed 35 cameras to capture this white house in full
Obama: I only saw 2
Williams: the other 33 were on the dog
************************************
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