Meet The Press - February 8, 2009

Meet the Press
February 8, 2009
Guests:
Sen. Claire McCaskill
Sen. John Ensign
Rep. Barney Frank
Rep. Mike Pence
*******************

Gregory: wow Obama has a massive package!

Gregory: let's hear from the majority first - John Ensign

Enisgn: I saw the best minds of my generation lost to a bridge to a nowhere

Gregory: what should be done

Ensign: enact all Republican ideas - after all, we won the election

Gregory: ok let's hear from the other side - Congressman Pence

Pence: the American people rejected the worn out tired ideas of Democrats in 2008 - why did you even invite any Dems on the show this morning?

McCaskill: well

Gregory: shut up

Gregory: Congressman Pence we all know Republicans won in 2008 but shouldn't we at least consider the minority party ideas

Pence: no the American people hate tired old liberal ideas

McCaskill: no no no please love us -- all Dems want is for Republicans and the media to love us and admit we can be bipartisan

Pence: no give me more

Ensign: pheh we speak for America not the crazy liberals

Frank: oh suddenly the GOP is concerned about spending - look they want to waste your tax dollars in Iraq but we want to keep cops and firefighters from being laid off

Ensign: that's right - any money that helps people is welfare

Pence: this is one part rule!

Frank: you're damm right it is you loser

Pence: i am willing to let Dems put some of their pet projects in the bill

Frank: big of your asshole

Pence: well after all America belongs to the Republican party

Gregory: Claire admit it this doens't stimulate jobs like dropping cash from the sky on a middle easten country would

McCaskill: that's true

Gregory: why not do what the GOP wants

Ensign: Gregory that's what I've been saying all along

Gregory: [ wags tail ]

Ensign: that's nonsense - we're not going to be laying any firefighters off - the states will be doing that

Frank: this asshole's party wasted hundreds of billions

Ensign: i agreee

Frank: did you filibuster GOP bills

Ensign: [ crickets ]

Gregory: admit it Claire it was all wasteful spending

McCaskill: yes

Pence: can I bring up 9/11 again

Greogry: sure

Pence: look Obama is mean and nasty and partisan but we need tax cuts

Frank: hey psycho why don't you blow me

Greogry: who did all these rotten asssets get on the bank's books??

Frank: gee i don't know - must have been an act of nature

Gregory: it's a mystery

Frank: the credit system is too corrupt to fail

Greogry: who did all these rotten asssets get on the bank's books??

Frank: gee i don't know - must have been an act of nature

Gregory: it's a mystery

Frank: the credit system is too corrupt to fail

Gregory: but a $15,000 tax credit is not going to incentivize me buy a second home in Martha's Vineyard

McCaskill: we have to convince people that giving money to rich people is in their interest

Ensign: i had a good idea

Greogry: which was defeated

Ensign: pheh

Frank: i want to ask executives what they hell they do to earn their bonuses

Gregory: well they don't all get bonsuses

Frank: yes they do

Gregory: we are all stuck in partisan accusations that the banks are getting free money

Pence: this is all the fault of poor black borrowers

Gregory: what's the solution

Pence: amnesty for tax cheats

Frank: jesus christ - the GOP is a party of psychopaths

Gregory: but you also support bank bailouts

Frank: yes but only because we're afraid not to

Gregory: so on one side nutjobs and on the other side cowards

McCaskill: Obama admitted he screwed up and nominated a conservative to Commerce

Ensign: this proves that Washington is incestuous

Gregory: it's crazy - I'm going to ask Luke Russert about this

Frank: hey blame the voters

Gregory: are we really going to bail out more fucking banks?

Frank: why not?