Meet The Press
February 1, 2009
Sen. John Kerry
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchinson
Gregory: OMG the stimulus bill passed without GOP votes - its so sad!!
Kerry: we'll improve that bill with a massive ketchup tax break
Gregory: what else
Kerry: food stamps for people in tough straits like John Thain
Kerry: we will build a new electric griddle
Greogory: let me confront a Republican with the Concord Coalition
Hutchinson: thank you
Hutchinson: we can't afford this big spending what with all the debt we have!
Kerry: where did that from?
Hutchinson: Little goblins took over the government in 2001
Gregory: what spending would you like?
Hutchinson: Military spending - that's permanent unlike shitty bridges which once they're built - no more jobs!
Gregory: Dems are being greedy aren't they -- aren't they ramming through bad ideas like Bush did after 9/11?
Kerry: that's a very good point Gregory even though it is stupid i agree that it's inevitable that Dems ideas are good ideas
Kerry: 50% of schools are 50 years old but I would remind you this is not ramming bills though it's called fucking Democracy and we just had a fucking election
Gregory: all well and good Senator Kerry but the issue here is that all bills but be approved by Republicans
Hutchinson: That is exactly right David - Exactly
Gregory: [ beams, wags tail ]
Hutchinson: who's a good boy??
Greogry: yip yip
Hutchinson: Tax cuts saved America in 2001
Gregory: no one knows the truth -- would you concede?
Hutchinson: oh yes
Kerry: like hell I would - Bush failed in every fucking way
Gregory: but but but-
Kerry: fuck off
Hutchinson: but tax cuts made people go back into the stock market in 2001!!
Kerry: oh yay
Hutchinson: we did have productive spending in the last few years - the war on terror, the war in Iraq
Kerry: Kay the economy sucks
Hutchinson: well that's the fault of the fancy people on Wall Street
Kerry: [ snort ]
Gregory: shovel-ready jobs?
Kerry: yes as long as we fix housing and the banks
Gregory: would you spend more to do it?
Hutchinson: sure but eliminate anything that helps people
Gregory: let me quote Rush Limbaugh issuing a challenge on who is a statesman and who is a reckless hack
Hutchinson: the bloated drug addict is right - there is nice spending that must be removed and tax cuts put in
Gregory: did you not hear the people on election day?
Hutchinson: i agree we need a new electric grill - but if Obama believes Republicans should get what they want he needs to give us what we want
Kerry: oh my god I haven't heard this much whining since my kids were toddlers
Kay: but but-
Gregory: isn't the stimulus bill a total failure if the GOP votes against it?
Gregory: bail out banks?
Hutchinson: yes but we should do it Obama's way and not the Stupid way
Gregory: fair enough
Hutchinson: sadly good people were caught in the net of bad loans
Gregory: buy toxic assets?
Kerry: no we should make the shareholders eat the loss
Gregory: oh so sad
Gregory: but whether you like this or not we can all agree we have to bail out the banks
Gregory: what about Sen. Jugg Gredd?
Hutchinson: No Democrats - Juggs would never do that!!
Gregory: what about Tom Daschle?
Kerry: I've known Tom for 25 years and he always picks up a check
Gregory: how shitty is the economy?
Zandi: really very very shitty
Gregory: Steve Ballmer said things really suck
Forbes: oh I disagree we can definitely rebound all we need to do is say "ain't" on tv
Burnett: we consumed like crazy for 25 years and that's gone forever - Generation Y sucks to be you
Gregory: let me go to the ultimate authority on teh economy - the Heritage Foundation - and now for contrast, steve forbes
Forbes: sure asset values have falled for instance my collection of fabrege eggs is worth less but we need to stop whining
Gregory: what's the solution
Forbes: Americans need to stop crying, show initiative and inherit a billion dollars from their weird gay dad
Gregory: well we can't all be Suri
Gregory: What's the answer?
Zandi: Tax cuts
Forbes: Spending alone isn't going to do it - you'll never guess what my answer is?
Greogry: lower income taxes?
Forbes: ha - no! Lower corporate taxes
Gregory: and mark to market
Forbes: so so so so sad
Gregory: why has Obama failed so much?
Burnett: the issue is not private jets - it's that we must bail out the banks or the economy will not grow
Gregory: so how can we help the banks?
Burnett: create a bad bank
Gregory: but we already have Citigroup
Gregory: but this could cost 2 trillion
Zandi: oh no only $500 billion
Gregory: oh is that all
Zandi: the government should buy the bad loans and get a good low price for it
Gregory: and hope and pray things will work out
Gregory: Obama got mad at all the Wall Street bonuses
Burnett: oh I get all so-called outrage and fake populism but you got to understand the people on Wall Street are doing their darndest!
Zandi: this is the risk of giving tax money cause then taxpayers want control which is just crazy - government can't make these decisions!
Gregory: this also applies to the national endowment for the arts right
Burnett: ha ha ha - no
Forbes: hey you take the money you pay the price
Burnett: this populism is very very scary - someone needs to tell the little people to hand over their tax money and shut the fuck up