Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Obama TV Ad - October 29, 2008

The Obama TV Ad
October 29, 2008

Waves of wheat
waves of hands
lots of white people

Obama: hi i'm barack obama and i;d like to be your black friend

now i know you're thinking, i aleady have a black friend, that guy down the street who i saw once in k-mart

but you're thinking do as i need as my new black friend this good looking guy in a slightly oval office?

Well, i'm here to tell you that i am in fact black, but a lot of white people like me, and i'm hoping you will too

white lady: hi, I had to put off an operation to make ends meet - and barack obama is going to be my new black friend

Obama: see that wasn't so hard

Obama in Colorado: small businesses are ok and btw i'm not a socialist

audience: hmmmmmm

Obama: a few weeks ago we found out what we suspected - that George Bush has nearly destroyed America

audience: well there is that

Obama: but i want to cut taxes for american business, grow the economy and keep people in their homes

tv audience: where's his koran and dashiki??

Pensioner: i wuz robbed

Obama: that sucks

McCain: commie!!!!

audience: he IS good looking

Sibelius: he's basically a white boy from kansas

Deval P: if i was any less scary i'd be pat boone

Hard Working black guy: i am a hard working black guy

Guys wife: i was sick and he had to go back to work

Bush: uniquely amerkin!

McCain: lazy fuckers

Obama: i love me some entepeneurs like Mortimer the Solar Panel Maker

Google CEO: he's MAH black frend!

Obama: fuck the CEOs!

Google: hey!

Obama: sorry dood

Teacher: peopel in this school are really struggling

McCain: only 12 houses so sad

Obama: the government cannot turn off the tv set

audience: we loves tv

Obama: i was raised by white people if that helps any

White Audience: so were we

Obama: i will recruit an army of zombie robots to teach our children

audience: yay

Obama: i'm will fight for college tuition in exchange for serving you county

McCain: no one gave me school for service

Obama: yes they did

McCain: oh right

Obama: my momma died fighting the insurance companies

Michelle: he reads harry potter to the kids and does all the voices too

audience: * sniff *

Durbin: we were all blown away

Claire McCaiskill: he purified DC

Biden: i turned to Dick Lugar and said whoa where did the eloquent black guy come from

Obama: its hard dwelling with mere mortal men

Obama: remember during ozzie and harriet and leave it to beaver after WWII America sat on top of the world

audience: good times

Obama: well forget it white people

audience: oh noes

Obama: my white grandfather fought with Patton

McCain: terroris-- aw fuck it

Obama: i will not be a perfect president but let's face i couldn't be any worse than Stupid


OBAMA: in 6 days we can choose to reward work, invest in health care, energy, college or Senator Psycho and his Loony Sidekick from the Arctic

Obama: i will catch Osama but I also will not just send troops willy nilly

McCain: bomb bommb bomb iraq

Liebeman: you mean iran

McCain: whatever

Obama: this is for the coal miners and factory workers

Edwards: damm he's good

Hillary: dammit he's really good

Richardson: he's teh awesome

Obama: people i am asking you to fight with and vote for me and work for me and change this country and change the world


Audience: Swoon


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