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The Obama TV Ad
October 29, 2008
*****************
Scenes:
Waves of wheat
waves of hands
lots of white people
Obama: hi i'm barack obama and i;d like to be your black friend
now i know you're thinking, i aleady have a black friend, that guy down the street who i saw once in k-mart
but you're thinking do as i need as my new black friend this good looking guy in a slightly oval office?
Well, i'm here to tell you that i am in fact black, but a lot of white people like me, and i'm hoping you will too
white lady: hi, I had to put off an operation to make ends meet - and barack obama is going to be my new black friend
Obama: see that wasn't so hard
Obama in Colorado: small businesses are ok and btw i'm not a socialist
audience: hmmmmmm
Obama: a few weeks ago we found out what we suspected - that George Bush has nearly destroyed America
audience: well there is that
Obama: but i want to cut taxes for american business, grow the economy and keep people in their homes
tv audience: where's his koran and dashiki??
Pensioner: i wuz robbed
Obama: that sucks
McCain: commie!!!!
audience: he IS good looking
Sibelius: he's basically a white boy from kansas
Deval P: if i was any less scary i'd be pat boone
Hard Working black guy: i am a hard working black guy
Guys wife: i was sick and he had to go back to work
Bush: uniquely amerkin!
McCain: lazy fuckers
Obama: i love me some entepeneurs like Mortimer the Solar Panel Maker
Google CEO: he's MAH black frend!
Obama: fuck the CEOs!
Google: hey!
Obama: sorry dood
Teacher: peopel in this school are really struggling
McCain: only 12 houses so sad
Obama: the government cannot turn off the tv set
audience: we loves tv
Obama: i was raised by white people if that helps any
White Audience: so were we
Obama: i will recruit an army of zombie robots to teach our children
audience: yay
Obama: i'm will fight for college tuition in exchange for serving you county
McCain: no one gave me school for service
Obama: yes they did
McCain: oh right
Obama: my momma died fighting the insurance companies
Michelle: he reads harry potter to the kids and does all the voices too
audience: * sniff *
Durbin: we were all blown away
Claire McCaiskill: he purified DC
Biden: i turned to Dick Lugar and said whoa where did the eloquent black guy come from
Obama: its hard dwelling with mere mortal men
Obama: remember during ozzie and harriet and leave it to beaver after WWII America sat on top of the world
audience: good times
Obama: well forget it white people
audience: oh noes
Obama: my white grandfather fought with Patton
McCain: terroris-- aw fuck it
Obama: i will not be a perfect president but let's face i couldn't be any worse than Stupid
LIVE
OBAMA: in 6 days we can choose to reward work, invest in health care, energy, college or Senator Psycho and his Loony Sidekick from the Arctic
Obama: i will catch Osama but I also will not just send troops willy nilly
McCain: bomb bommb bomb iraq
Liebeman: you mean iran
McCain: whatever
Obama: this is for the coal miners and factory workers
Edwards: damm he's good
Hillary: dammit he's really good
Richardson: he's teh awesome
Obama: people i am asking you to fight with and vote for me and work for me and change this country and change the world
Crowd: YAAAAAAY
Audience: Swoon
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