Meet The Press
July 13, 2008
Host: Tom Brokaw
Sen. Claire McCaskill
Tom Brokaw: welcome ladies you are smokin’ hawt!
Carly Fiorina: thank u
Claire McKaskill: you too Tom
Brokaw: Carly Phil Gramm says poor Americans are a bunch of whiners
Obama: McCain thinks you're all crazy - coming from him that's rich
McCain: i don't agree with my top economic advisor on economics
Carly Fiorina: i am here today to abjectly apologize and grovel and say hey we know Americans are hurting
Fiorina: Tom no one cares what a bunch of surrogates have to say
Brokaw: well then why the fuck are the two of you on my teevee
Fiorina: touche tom - but we're here to spin the beltway stupid
Brokaw: which is worse Al Qaeda or Recession?
Brokaw: but he now says the economy is the big issue!
Fiorina: hey he talked about it all week!
Brokaw: but the economy is a disaster
Fiorina: no one could have predicted a poor economy
Brokaw: he's a crazy flip-flopper
Fiorina: he voted against Bush tax cuts because there were no spending cuts
Brokaw: but now he supports them and there is more spending than ever
Fiorina: yes but that was then!
Brokaw: Obama flip-flopped on Iraq
Sen. McCaskill: look he's consistent he promised to pull out but he also has to pretend to listen to he handsome men in the green uniforms
Brokaw: well will he listen to them or give them orders
Sen. McCaskill: it's a goal Tom but yeah you have to careful getting in and getting out
Brokaw: why can't Obama know what the situation will be in the summer of 2010
Sen. McCaskill: the media will still be assholes i know that much
Brokaw: if you were still the CEO of HP
Fiorina: they would be broke
Brokaw: McCain's economic plan sucks
Fiorina: we will kick start this economy by not raising taxes or reenacting smoot-hawley like Obama would do
Brokaw: but we so spend so much money in Iraq
Fiorina: oh did I mention he's against the war now
Fiorina: i'm going to be snide and obnoxious now people seem to like that
Brokaw: Obama is a big spender and that's bad the media suddenly realized Democratic spending is bad!
McCaskill: he's going to raise taxes on the top 2%
Brokaw: that's everybody I know
Fiorina: me too
McCaskill: christ CEOs make 400 times what workers make and most of them are dumb
Brokaw: but the debt!! the deficit!!!
McCaskill: gee where have you been since 1980?
Brokaw: at my vacation home at Jackson Hole
Brokaw: how can we get the Boom Years back?
Sen. McCaskill: by electing a Dem Congress and a Dem President
Fiorina: in know math and Obama's numbers don't add up
Brokaw: but you're a girl
Fiorina: math is hard but Obama has voted to raise taxes 94 times
Brokaw: McCain's numbers don't add up either
Fiorina: did you know John McCain hated Donald Rumsfeld?
Brokaw: he also said we should stay in Iraq for 100 years
Fiorina: well we are still in Japan
Brokaw: does he stand by that?
Fiorina: why not - maybe someday Iraq will make cameras and better cars than us
Brokaw: what is his plan
Fioronia: Taxes taxes taxes and cutting taxes!
McCaskill: away with you and your skinny california tan
Brokaw: NCLB sucked but it shows that accountability is important
McCaskill: blah blah blah Tom jesus you're gullible
Brokaw: Democrats are beholden to the teachers
Sen. McCaskill: bullshit
Brokaw: you don't think teachers have too much power?
Sen. McCaskill: no - but it's clear that you do
Brokaw: no i hid my editorial statement behind unnamed people
Fiorina: oh did I mention McCain is hedging on NCLB as well
Brokaw: Quel suprise
Brokaw: will you be vice president?
Fiorina: well i would carry the failed CEO vote
Brokaw: Obama needs help with women of a certain age
McCaskill: you mean older dood
Brokaw: hey we've never had two women on the show before
McCaskill: gee i wonder why
Brokaw: well you weren't irish catholic men so i never saw you on Timmeh's short list
Brokaw: i've listen to the Generals and General Election favors Obama
Harold Ford: oh noes
Brokaw: is he leaning to the right?
Ford: shocker i support his lurch to the right
Brokaw: but he's black!
Ford: we're not all liberals you're know
Brokaw: i thought you were all panthers
Mitchell: the commenters on the liberal blogs are angry about FISA
Brokaw: wow what's your handle
Mitchell: I post under the name “Alan’s Greenspan’s Bathtub”
Brokaw: ha ha Obama got a gift from the angry black man
Ford: Obama and I are a new breed of black leader - screw Jesse
Murphy: this election will be close because it will be decided by two steelworkers from Ohio
Brokaw: speaking of that the blue collar guys do not like being called a bunch of whiners
Murphy: no but this isn’t a scandal because unlike with Jesse Jackson that wasn't the candidate speaking
Murphy: we need a governor from the Great Lakes like mitt romney
Mitchell: Jack Reed
Tom: who the fuck is that?
Mitchell: he has a very impressive bio
Mitchell: i have analyzed the black community and the fear is that he is throwing blacks under the bus in an effort to appease Hillary Clinton
Mitchell: wow one woman someone somewhere said she doesn’t like Obama
Mitchell: Obama is still calling people on the telephone assuming it isn't broadcast
Murphy: he won't pick Hillary because it isn't turning the page
Brokaw: is she very scary?
Murphy: we are terrified losing Virginia
Brokaw: Sam Nunn!!
Muhrphy: Evan Bayh!
Mitchell: Tom Ridge had an abortion so he can't be VP
Brokaw: well thank you all for overcoming your grief over Tim Russert and coming on the show
[ flashback ]
Tim Russert: you really think the Iraq war went great??
Tony Snow: look we tried our best but we're morons you can't expect anything else
Brokaw: what an elegant sexy man he was