Monday, October 01, 2007

Meet The Press with Bill Clinton - September 30, 2007

Meet The Press with Tim Russert
September 30, 2007
Guest: President Bill Clinton

Russert: what's with yur charity thing

Clinton: i like to bring together it's to the world's benefit that I am the child of an abusive alcoholic

Russert: awesome

Clinton: global warming, small businesses in the third world, virtual world

Russert: but yur a broker

Clinton: I got Canadian mines to agree to help local people and the environment

Russert: i told George Bush about that and he said he didn't like mimes

Clinton: yes that sounds like him

Russert: global warming not fair to poorest countries

Clinton: that's a good point but now china and india are poisoning themselves and they have to go green

Russert: let me play my interview with you where i was a little sneaky with yur wife

Clinton: ha ha ha

Timmeh: yur wife dissed you dood

Bill Clinton: oh man isn't she awesome

Timmeh: she is hot

Clinton: hey dood torture sucks and i know we all get sucked into the Jack Bauer scenario but really that isn't going to happen

Tim: but you said you would torture

Clinton: well Hillary told me to come on your show and say i was wrong

Tim: ok

Russert: your wife slapped you down Boy-o

Bill: I’m so proud of her

Russert: but that look on her face was like, ‘don't fuck with Hillary’

Clinton: dood when you diddle the intern you have to take that look for the rest of your life

Tim: what will you do

Bill: First Laddie

Russert: Laddie, Come Home!

Clinton: i will the Roving Dood

Tim: that's how you got in trouble in the first place

Russert: dood you're forming a Dynasty

Bill: Chelsea can beat Jenna or that George P Bush character

Russert: we can't go Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton

Bill: hey either she will earn or not it's not her fault that Stupid has been a crappy president

Russert: fair enough

Clinton: she's the smartest person of my generation

Russert: greensnap says yur a GOPPer

Clinton: oh bullshit dems balance the budget and lower taxes on the middle class that Ayn Rand-loving fool just drinking the kool aid

Tim: who will be the GOP nominee

Clinton: those fuckers are insane - Fred Thompson is out to lunch, Rudy is crazy, Romney has the money but is a lightweight

Tim: who wins

Clinton: issue is when will Rudy implode, when will people see through Mitt Romney, will McCain survive, and can the likeable Huckabee squeak thru

Tim: put yur pundit cap on why diss Tavis Smiley?

Clinton: it's stunning all four of those doods are politically tone deaf of course what do i know - i only won 2 presidential erections

Russert: you mean elections

Clinton: oh yes

[ break ]

Russert: you implied the GOP hates blacks

Tavis Smiley: well they do man

Tim: you’re blunt

Tavis: hey even other Republics said its embarrasing

[on tape]
Kemp: i like blacks
Steele: some of my best frendz r black

Pat Buchanan: let me explain something to you 95% of primary voters are white and New Hampshire makes the other primaries look like 125th street

Tim: cool

Buchanan: after the primary they can always go after the black vote - i'm sure it will easy to get their vote between August and October

Tavis: well that is just stupid

Buchanan: the costs are too great

Tavis: what are the costs

Buchanan: looking like you care about poor and black voters hurts your in a GOP primary

Tavis: a ha

Buchanan: it's Romney's to lose

Tavis: mormon issue?

Buchanan: we'll see only Rudy and Huckabee could stop him

Balz: but Rudy is a total weirdo

Buchanan: so are a lot of religious voters

David Gregory: the Dem race is really really tight

Tavis: but do people lie about their support for Obama

Buchanan: iowa is super-important because if she wins Hillary rolls and if Edwards or Obama wins they become the alternative to her

Russert: then Obama can win South Carolina

Balz: the clintons do not have a network in iowa but she's working it

Russert: this is so fascinating how i am talking about a dynasty and his role in the office

Gregory: yes it's amazing how we are talking about it

Russert: i'm blown away about how this is an issue

Gregory: yes how is it that people are talking about it?

Buchanan: i worry about Obama he's a crazy lefty and can't go after Hillary because he is black

Russert: so sad

Buchanan: i can't believe the liberals dems want 21 to be the drinking age that's insane!!!

Russert: it's national policy dood

Buchanan: see what i mean!

Tavis: Pat you're a pseudo racist idiot

Buchanan: i luv ward connerly

Timmeh: they won't commit to pulling out of Iraq

Balz: thank god they are serious and not listening to the bloggers

Russert: ha ha Hillary won't pick between 2 teams

Gregory: she's so calculating

Russert: the candidates are hiding on the blogs!! I'm the only one getting them to answer the tough questions like which baseball team they would root for in hypothetical game!!!!!

Balz: you're the last man with integrity tim

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