Republican Debate - September 28, 2007
Hosts: Tavis Smiley, Juan Williams
Subject: Minority issues
[ sorry, missed the first half hour ]
Moderator: tell me about economics
Huckabee: government is a boot on your face
Ron Paul: obviously the cause of economic disparity in america is the minimum wage.
Brownback: we don't have a colorblind society although you'd never know the way people go through traffic lights - but what i'd really like to say that the way to help black people is to adopt a flat tax in black areas i call the "motherfucker flat tax"
Tancredo: fuck all you race-baiters - did you know that in 1950s blacks were better off than white people and then came illegal immigrants and welfare and blacks became lazy and that has nothing to do with race!
Hunter: i can't believe that bill clinton took credit for signing legislation when he was president - that bastard - but after that black people starting living the high life they all opened dry cleaners moved to upper east side
Keyes: a lot of black men find good jobs in prison we should send more of them there
Moderator: why are you here dood
Keyes: I’m the last living black republic
Mod: so what's your plan?
Keyes: we must get rid of the culture of infidelity and hedonism and immorality
Juan Williams: enough about the Republican Party
Tavis: let's talk about illegals
Tancredo: wow i love how all these doods are jumping on my pet issue - welcome to my world - now i realize its a scary world but bear with me - we don't have to "round people up" that's myth most will go voluntarily like in Europe in the 1930s and 40s
Hunter: i pay too much for drywall dammitt
Moderator: what’s your answer to the problem of illegals
Hunter: my double fantasy fence
Keyes: no law in america matters if we don't close our borders illegals come in and take food out of black babies mouths!
Huckabee: i get on my knees every night and thank god I'm not brown or black - look our real fear should be of people coming with dirty suitcases
Juan Williams: millions of young black americans are watching this debate tonight
Tavis: [ spit take ]
Juan Williams: equal justice?
Brownback: i tried to get a sense of the black experience so i lived in a homeless shelter
Juan Williams: well that would do it
Brownback: young blacks need to know that if they get out of prison they will probably go back
Tancredo: what’s the deal with this federal crime shit - I say states like Louisiana alone should enforce criminal laws
Juan Williams: well that should certainly help black people
Tancredo: also blacks have no morals values or discipline
Williams: maybe you should stay away from Sylvia’s dood
Hunter: that white kid got kicked in the head so i assume the black kid is a bad kid that's clear even though i admit i know nothing about this case
Juan: thank you for that ill-informed knee-jerk reaction - it's what we all want in a president
Tavis: improve the system?
Hunter: jury of their peers!
Tavis: like when all-white juries try blacks?
Hunter: yeah after all they share 99% DNA
Keyes: these kids need a boot up the ass and shunning
Huckster: lots not lock up the people we're mad at -- lock the people we're afraid of - also let's not lock all drug offenders
Mod: wow that's remarkably enlightened
Paul: I'll go one better we need to end the war on drugs
Paul: prohibition didn't work, drugs are a disease!
Moderator: what about Washington DC?
Tancredo: put DC in virginia or maryland
Hunter: sure DC residents can vote for President just as soon as they let residents carry machine guns
Keyes: if they don't like it they can fucking leave plus we all know that DC belongs to all of America
Huckster: it's a matter of a justice and equality
Keyes: DC residents don't deserve freedom they're icky
Brownback: it's ok if DC residents vote Presinit but not for Congress that would be scary
Paul: national ID is fascist!
Brownback: asking about immigration that's a really hard question
Mod: you always say that
Hunter: bring back the family doctor through tax cuts
Keyes: screw that, bring back the family - force people to get married and have children
Mod: you're actually German aren't you?
Keyes: jobs is healthcare so message to blacks is go get a job
Huckabee: there has to be ownership of the healthcare i mean you should be itemizing every bill and negotiating with your oncologist and heart surgeon
Dr. Ron Paul: medicine is all corporate and inflation is bad
Mod: calm down dood
Paul: why do states license doctors what kind of fascism is that - let the barber take out your pancreas
Tancredo: you fucking lazy people if you get sick it's all your fault - i know i'm scaring you but yes we should let people die if the get sick - only then will people will have the incentive not to get to get sick
Williams: Ambassador Keyes when you were Ambassador to Psychoville, did you ever meet the first black combat pilot she like a black female Maverick
Keyes: no but she's hot
Juan: she's been bombing iraqis
Juan: blacks hate the war
Keyes: hey dood we didn't start the war in Iraq muslims from the middle east who were proxy-iraqis attacked us my real problem is that Bush went easy on those ragheads
Huckabee: i luv veterans
Paul: Bush lied! Saudis attacked us! Jolly well help ourselves!
[ applause ]
Brownback: One, i think-
Brownback: -One, that's your name-
Brownback: split Iraq into three - i mean of course the United States America should begin cutting up middle east countries who wouldn't think that is good idea?
Tancredo: i'm going to babble mindlessly for a few minutes
Mod: ok dood
Hunter: everything is going great in Iraq although the government is inept
Huckabee: slaughter of unborn!
Paul: come home from everywhere!
Brownback: no - we are the greatest country in teh world USA! USA!
Tancredo: we should act in Sudan and save Darfur
Moderator: how, you won't use troops?
Tancredo: the UN should handle it - if they fail then it will prove they suck and we should leave the UN
Keyes: we are a nation of nations and we should take over the whole planet because we stand for universal values
BUT OF COURSE WE SHOULD NEVER SEND TROOPS OH NO NO NO
Moderator: Death penalty?
Brownback: i'm against the death penalty cause i'm all about culture of life but i will make an exception for liberals
Tancredo: well sure for Moveon.org
Hunter: damm that Charles Manson!!!
Keyes: i love the death penalty how else are we going to send the message that we love life
Mod: ok you're sundowning now Alan
Tancredo: what a racist thought - that black kids can't learn even if they go to segregated all black school i'm shocked at you
Hunter: i lub mom and dad
Tavis: debate is over so thank you all except for Mitt and McCain and Rudy fuck you you fucking motherfuckers
[ audience ]
ron paul! ron paul! ron paul! ]