Meet The Press with Tim Russert
September 16, 2007
Guests: Senator John Kerry and Senator John McCain
Tim Russert: iz irak war good idea? we ask 2 doods from vietnam
Our guests are john "how can you ask someone 2 B teh last man 2 die 4 a mistake" kerry and john "i wuz teh pow" mccain
Lets get 2 it
John McCain: we haf to defeat al qaeda
Russert: dood people are dying and bush sucks
McCain: that's true but it was all about Rumsfeld and now we've adopted the McCain surge we’re winning
Russert: so why stay there
McCain: genocide blah blah
John Kerry: as you may have noticed Bush is a liar, a loser and a total moron who has no clue how to create real change in Iraq
Russert: i did notice that but i can't say it
Kerry: we've empowered terrorists and the Iraqis have to know we are leaving so it will be up to them McCain and the crazies want to stay for nothing
Russert: so what's your solution
Kerry: pull out slowly over a year
McCain: no way - we can't leave we have to control the whole region and by region i mean all land and oceans from the Mediterranean to China
Russert: wow you are crazy
McCain: look we changed the mission and the Kurds are happy and after all Dr. Kissinger says we should stay and he's a liberal
Tim: uh huh
Kerry: newsflash dood! Al qaeda was not in Iraq until we invaded so congratulations McCain you just gave them a safe haven - bang up job by you and your buddy President Stupid
McCain: i'm very proud of Gen. Petraeus and our semi-safe al qaeda haven
Kerry: where is Condi Rice??
McCain: so sad John Kerry wants to go back to failed policies of George Bush
Kerry: oh I see you are insane
McCain: Gen. Petraeus sez it's the central front on the war on terror
Kerry: yeah but he only says that because Al Qaeda says so
McCain: well, they ought to know
Kerry: we should fight them where we want to
McCain: oh please, you don't think Petreaus comes to his conclusions by talking to experts -- he communes with god
Kerry: terrorists are in Iraq because we are there!
McCain: which is why we should stay!
Kerry: which is why we should leave!
McCain: Jim Jones says we should stay
Russert: actually he disagrees with that
McCain: no he doesn't
Russert: yes he does I know he was on my show
McCain: yeah but I've known him for 30 years
Russert: you’re deluded
McCain: it's hard and tough and long and full of disappointments
McCain: no my life
McCain: we still have troops in Okinawa and the Karate Kid III was a great movie
Russert: that's true - but what happens in a year when nothing has changed?
McCain: i will blow out my cheeks even more
Kerry: there is a power struggle going on in Iraq and Chipmunk doesn't get it - no surge could succeed
[blows up cheeks]
Kerry: go ahead puffy but i'm going to read this New York Times editorial from soldiers who know what they are talking about
Russert: how long can you fuck over the American people
McCain: not forever
Kerry: oh just great
McCain: losing is bad
Kerry: Osama is not in Iraq stupid
McCain: we've only been in Iraq for 6 months
Kerry: 5 1/2 years and nothing has been accomplished - they can’t “train” Iraqi soldiers for gawd’s sake
McCain: hey learning how to hold a gun is tough - like how do you point it and shit like that
McCain: you want us to lose
Kerry: define victory
McCain: I'll know it when I see it
Russert: war porn
McCain: Iraq is like Terri Schiavo we can't pull the plug now!
McCain: Dems are proposing failure
Kerry: Bush is a failure
Timmeh: the biggest issue in the campaign is if we should worship Generals or not
After all Rudy has a good point how can you support holding Saddam accountable and not want to put Moveon.org in prison??
Panel: ha ha
Timmeh: ha ha ha what does all this mean!??
Chuck Todd: so sad McCain should be in command but sadly the nursing home has restricted his hours
Timmeh: winner of the week
Todd: Rudy, he rocks
Ryan Lizza: he rulz he took 'em with demagoguery
Timmeh: why didn't hillary condemn an ad she had nothing to do with??
Lizza: she didn't because she needs to get votes from the extreme left
Todd: Moveon is like Chris Hitchens they're fun and you used to like them - but then they keep showing up at parties drunk and pissing on the carpet yelling ‘fuck you all’
Rusert: why are the pundits going after fred mcGruff???
Lizza: Fred Thompson is hardly trying - i don't know if that's good or bad
Todd: so sad us Beltway types go after Thompson because we're elitist and out of touch
Russert: oh indeed except me I keep in touch with the common man out at Nantucket