Sunday, September 02, 2007

Meet the Press - September 2, 2007

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Meet the Press
September 2, 2007
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Larry Craig on tape: it with sadness and regret that I announce that I am a victim of a witchhunt and will now be joining the cast of La Cage Aux Folles

Mike Murphy: there's a feeling in the Pervert Party that we don't need more trouble and we got lots of it

Russert: Vitter did it too

Bob Shrum: yeah but you know he's got the wide stance when it comes to Teh Gay

Russert: Louisiana has a Democrat guvnah

Shrum: exactly right

James Carville: Craig was a hate filled psycho and yet you have to still pity him because he's so sick

Mary Matalin: let me make up total bullshit now - don't people have something better to do than obsess on other people sex lives oh dear i do have the vapors!!!

Russert: hey stupid he pleaded guilty

Matalin: hillary clinton is evil!!!!

Shrum: heh nice try Matalin if you didn't notice but it's your party which is obsessed with sex

Murphy: bloggers are McCarthyites why are they so obsessed with pointing out the hypocrisy of politicians who are obsessed with other people's sex lives??!!?

Murphy: oh so sad Mitt Romney is a graceless fucker but throwing Craig under the bus was smart

Carville: jeesus there is no humanity in these creepy fuckers Mitt Romney reminds me of Larry Craig the pontificating is just fucking ridiculous

Matalin: Democrats criticize Republicans therefore they are not normal - voters are sick of obsessing with sex why can't we just round up gays and shut them up

Shrum: jesus h christ the Pervert Party is fucking obsessed with demonizing people who have a different sexual orientation for god's sake that's all they do

Murphy: see you take a policy difference, for example taxes or spending or hating homosexuals and you take it so personally

Shrum: yes why on earth would anyone want to take it personally if someone told you had to drink from a different water fountain or forced you to wear a yellow star everywhere

Murphy: right those stars are very attractive! Why it's just a policy difference!

Russert: Thompson sexiest man alive?

Shrum: they all suck

Murphy: Thompson's campaign sucks but if he can raise money, have a good platform, perform well, then he will do well

Tim: wow what an insight

Catalin: i am a normal person and i hate it when people say voters will tag a candidate as elitist for something like gucci loafers why that GOP would never do something like that

Tim: but he's pro-abortion

Catalin: but he's got great jowls, he hates terror and loves Jeebus

Murphy: these motherfuckers all suck and Thompson is not a real conservative anyway

Timmeh: too lazy to win?

Murphy: uh dood ronald reagan my anything to you

Tim: ha ha ha ha ha

Carville: they're loosers

Matalin: your strange Beltway terms frighten and confuse me

Shrum: yes mary matalin: spokesman for the normal people everywhere -- ha ha ha

Tim: he'll be on Jay Leno and skip the debate

Carville: guess what people love that unfunny dood

Matalin: a majority of americans finally realize that we're are So Winning in Iraq - why it's lovely this time of year

Shrum: oh yes what a thrill ‘everything sucks but hey sometime it might not suck’- you run with that

Carville: hey stupid the people do not want a 15 year war

Matalin: Congress demanded signs of progress and Bush is going to give them signs of progress so what's the problem

Shrum: Petraeus says 10 years of war and the people don't want that you stupid bitch

Matalin: hey fat asshole the people don't want an immediate pullout

Shrum: no one is saying that she's lying

[Matalin frowns]

Shrum: go ahead make that sour face your party is going down

Russert: Pollz say

-Edwards and Obama likeable
-Clinton is leaderlike
-Change is Obama
-Terror, Iraq belong to Hillary

Carville: Hillary is a fighter but hey Obama is skilled and Edwards lives in Iowa but the best news is she owns Iraq even though she supports the war

Tim: is Hillary Playing the Terror Card?

Carville: jesus tim what the fuck does that question even mean

Shrum: is she playing politics - dood she's a politician running for office

Russert: but i like saying 'playing the card'

Shrum: iowa could be important

Murphy: Bill Richardson could deliver voters to Obama

Russert: Oooh a scary Asian Man gave money to Hillary Clinton it's just like Johnny Chung!!!!!

Matalin: Hillary is evil as we all know for example did you know Larry Craig having sex in a bathroom is her fault???

Timmy: no but that makes sense

Matalin: all she had to do was screen the asian donors for god's sake

Murphy: did this money come from asian lead based poisonous toys????

Carville: give me a fucking break

Russert: Oooh a scary Asian Man gave money to Hillary Clinton it's just like Johnny Chung!!!!!

Matalin: Hillary is evil as we all know for example did you know Larry Craig having sex in a bathroom is her fault???

Timmy: no but that makes sense

Matalin: all she had to do was screen the asian donors for god's sake

Murphy: did this money come from asian lead based poisonous toys????

Carville: give me a fucking break wasn't Rudy's guy indicted for cocaine charges

Murphy: Obama is the perfect change agent

Elizabeth Edwards: pervert party hates Hillary so vote for John

Carville: hey saying GOP doesn't like someone is not a good reason not to vote for 'em

Russert: this debate will continue in barbecues across america

Audience: dood get a life

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4 comments:

report from the heartland said...

yay!!!!

you are GOOD.

you report so I can laff-- er, decide.

thank you CoT

¡El Gato Negro! said...

An unpleasant task weeth pleasant results, muy divertido.

Joo are doing the work of El Dio de los Gatos Gigantes del Paradiso, CoT.

Strength and good hunting to joo.

so.

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