Meet the Press with Tim Russert - September 23, 2007

*******************************************************
Meet the Press with Tim Russert
September 23, 2007
Guests:
Senator Hillary Clinton and Alan Greenspan
*******************************************************
[ Hillary, on tape ]
I'm against funding the war

Russert: so Hillary are you against funding the war or what

Hillary: yes i am and from now on i will not vote one more penny for the war

Tim: wow

Hillary: sorry dood but bush has failed and the soldiers are brave but you can't referee a fucking civil war

Tim: so sad

Hillary: Bush won't listen to reason and I've tried to get him to see some common sense and talk to rational people but he won't

Tim: you're a tangle of contradictions aren't you -- like 2 years ago you said something different

Hillary: yes i did

Tim: but you changed your mind!!!!!

Hillary: yup

Tim: you are blowing my mind

Hillary: look dood things have changed bush is clearly a stubborn moron and there is no military solution

Russert: but our troops!

Hillary: don't even try that buddy - i love the troops they're great- but they can't create an Iraqi government at the point of a gun

Russert: interesting

Hillary: we need to this madman

Timmeh: you voted for the war

Hillary: yes but that was the information we had the time and sure if i knew then what i know now of course i wouldn't vote for it - no one would

Tim: but you opposed Carl Levin in stopping Bush

Hillary: hey we can't give the UN a veto over the president

Tim: even Bush?

Hillary: well sure him, but not me

Tim: were you wrong?

Hillary: yes, but Bush is the real crazy person we now have to stop Bush and get out of this madness

Timmy: why did you put this anti-Petraeus ad in the New York Times?

Hillary: actually i didn't - why did you put out ads attacking Max Cleland Tim?

Tim: well i didn't senator

Hillary: well now you know how i feel Captain General Electric

Tim: ok

Hillary: we have to end this fucking war you fat head

Tim: let's talk about Moveon.org some more

Hillary: this is a stupid conversation we're stuck in a civil war and thousands of americans are dead

Tim: so about more about this ad, do you condemn it and would you like to see the leaders of Moveon taken out and shot?

Hillary: moron shut the fuck up

Timmy: it's your fault we don't have universal health care

Hillary: oh of course because I'm the one who risked my career to try to create it - that makes sense

Timmy: yes but you suck - you mismanaged it

Hillary: who told you that Tim Russert?

Tim: Harry and Louise

Tim: you're taking money from Chinese people it's bad

Hillary: of for god's sake i'm in favor of public campaign financing

Tim: but it's like 1996 it's tainted by the Yellow People

Hillary: for pete's sake dood i have 100,000 donors

Tim: so filter out the asians - they only have like nine last names

Hillary: idiot

Tim: people hate you

Hillary: look who's talking

Tim: you're polarizing

Hillary: no i took the red parts of New York state

Tim: yeah but that's still liberal New York

Hillary: oh no there are a lot of real hicks up there dood

Tim: really?

Hillary: oh i could tell you stories - there are some real ignorant assholes in my state

Tim: hey I'm from upstate New York

Hillary: well then my point is made

[break]

Tim: Turbulapalooza 2007 rocks

Alan Greenspan: pour some sugar on me

Tim: You said Bill Clinton was a Republican?

Greenspan: well he had a sex scandal

Tim: you fear Hillary

Greenspan: her worldview is against globalization

Tim: you say Bush was a Big Spender

Greenspan: he didn't veto was enough

Tim: which bill should he have vetoed?

Greenspan: the Anti-Matlock Bill of 2005

Tim: what was wrong with Bush

Greenspan: he had no ethics and politicized everything

Tim: anything else?

Greenspan: The GOP Congress was evil and for sale

Tim: Krugman sez you are a lying bastard

Greenspan: the best response I have is that I had no real influence on fiscal policy in the last few years

Tim: are getting senile grandpa?

Greenspan: i was terrified that Clinton would pay off the debt it's a horror

Tim: but you changed your mind

Greenspan: yes i did - but i was in favor on the Greenspan Pony Plan - not the Bush Plan

Tim: social security?

Greenspan: it's not a problem but Medicare really is

Tim: recession?

Greenspan: 50/50 chance

Tim: yes or no

Greenspan: housing prices will fall even more

Tim: that was your fault too you told people to buy ARMs

Greenspan: no that was the fault of the staffers at the Federal Reserve their papers are terribly influential

Tim: that is so true

Greenspan: besides this going on all over the world don't blame me

Timmeh: you said Iraq war is all about Oil

Greenspan: dood use your haid of course it is you don't see us in Darfur or Burma do you

Timmeh: but you said things that weren't true

Greenspan: i watched Saddam for 30 years and the thought of him controlling america's oil made me sad

Timmeh: so of course we invaded another country

Greenspan: it's god's country - we just liberated it

Timmeh: i didn't know you were religious

Greenspan: i was talking about the God of the Free Market dood

Timmeh: who was the smartest President?

Greenspan: Clinton outpaces Nixon

Tim: most disgusting?

Greenspan: Oh Nixon easy

Tim: who was the stupidest?

[Greenspan thought bubble]

(‘Dubya, easily’)

Greenspan: oh i don't know

Tim: who was the most political?

Greenspan: George W.H. Bush

Tim: quite the family of fuckers aren't they?

Greenspan: you should meet the Bush women dood

Tim: you seduced Andrea Mitchell with a report on monopolies

Greenspan: yeah she's wildcat

Tim: she never falls for my Buffalo Bills memorabilia

Greenspan: sucks for you