Meet the Press with Tim Russert
September 23, 2007
Senator Hillary Clinton and Alan Greenspan
[ Hillary, on tape ]
I'm against funding the war
Russert: so Hillary are you against funding the war or what
Hillary: yes i am and from now on i will not vote one more penny for the war
Hillary: sorry dood but bush has failed and the soldiers are brave but you can't referee a fucking civil war
Tim: so sad
Hillary: Bush won't listen to reason and I've tried to get him to see some common sense and talk to rational people but he won't
Tim: you're a tangle of contradictions aren't you -- like 2 years ago you said something different
Hillary: yes i did
Tim: but you changed your mind!!!!!
Tim: you are blowing my mind
Hillary: look dood things have changed bush is clearly a stubborn moron and there is no military solution
Russert: but our troops!
Hillary: don't even try that buddy - i love the troops they're great- but they can't create an Iraqi government at the point of a gun
Hillary: we need to this madman
Timmeh: you voted for the war
Hillary: yes but that was the information we had the time and sure if i knew then what i know now of course i wouldn't vote for it - no one would
Tim: but you opposed Carl Levin in stopping Bush
Hillary: hey we can't give the UN a veto over the president
Tim: even Bush?
Hillary: well sure him, but not me
Tim: were you wrong?
Hillary: yes, but Bush is the real crazy person we now have to stop Bush and get out of this madness
Timmy: why did you put this anti-Petraeus ad in the New York Times?
Hillary: actually i didn't - why did you put out ads attacking Max Cleland Tim?
Tim: well i didn't senator
Hillary: well now you know how i feel Captain General Electric
Hillary: we have to end this fucking war you fat head
Tim: let's talk about Moveon.org some more
Hillary: this is a stupid conversation we're stuck in a civil war and thousands of americans are dead
Tim: so about more about this ad, do you condemn it and would you like to see the leaders of Moveon taken out and shot?
Hillary: moron shut the fuck up
Timmy: it's your fault we don't have universal health care
Hillary: oh of course because I'm the one who risked my career to try to create it - that makes sense
Timmy: yes but you suck - you mismanaged it
Hillary: who told you that Tim Russert?
Tim: Harry and Louise
Tim: you're taking money from Chinese people it's bad
Hillary: of for god's sake i'm in favor of public campaign financing
Tim: but it's like 1996 it's tainted by the Yellow People
Hillary: for pete's sake dood i have 100,000 donors
Tim: so filter out the asians - they only have like nine last names
Tim: people hate you
Hillary: look who's talking
Tim: you're polarizing
Hillary: no i took the red parts of New York state
Tim: yeah but that's still liberal New York
Hillary: oh no there are a lot of real hicks up there dood
Hillary: oh i could tell you stories - there are some real ignorant assholes in my state
Tim: hey I'm from upstate New York
Hillary: well then my point is made
Tim: Turbulapalooza 2007 rocks
Alan Greenspan: pour some sugar on me
Tim: You said Bill Clinton was a Republican?
Greenspan: well he had a sex scandal
Tim: you fear Hillary
Greenspan: her worldview is against globalization
Tim: you say Bush was a Big Spender
Greenspan: he didn't veto was enough
Tim: which bill should he have vetoed?
Greenspan: the Anti-Matlock Bill of 2005
Tim: what was wrong with Bush
Greenspan: he had no ethics and politicized everything
Tim: anything else?
Greenspan: The GOP Congress was evil and for sale
Tim: Krugman sez you are a lying bastard
Greenspan: the best response I have is that I had no real influence on fiscal policy in the last few years
Tim: are getting senile grandpa?
Greenspan: i was terrified that Clinton would pay off the debt it's a horror
Tim: but you changed your mind
Greenspan: yes i did - but i was in favor on the Greenspan Pony Plan - not the Bush Plan
Tim: social security?
Greenspan: it's not a problem but Medicare really is
Greenspan: 50/50 chance
Tim: yes or no
Greenspan: housing prices will fall even more
Tim: that was your fault too you told people to buy ARMs
Greenspan: no that was the fault of the staffers at the Federal Reserve their papers are terribly influential
Tim: that is so true
Greenspan: besides this going on all over the world don't blame me
Timmeh: you said Iraq war is all about Oil
Greenspan: dood use your haid of course it is you don't see us in Darfur or Burma do you
Timmeh: but you said things that weren't true
Greenspan: i watched Saddam for 30 years and the thought of him controlling america's oil made me sad
Timmeh: so of course we invaded another country
Greenspan: it's god's country - we just liberated it
Timmeh: i didn't know you were religious
Greenspan: i was talking about the God of the Free Market dood
Timmeh: who was the smartest President?
Greenspan: Clinton outpaces Nixon
Tim: most disgusting?
Greenspan: Oh Nixon easy
Tim: who was the stupidest?
[Greenspan thought bubble]
Greenspan: oh i don't know
Tim: who was the most political?
Greenspan: George W.H. Bush
Tim: quite the family of fuckers aren't they?
Greenspan: you should meet the Bush women dood
Tim: you seduced Andrea Mitchell with a report on monopolies
Greenspan: yeah she's wildcat
Tim: she never falls for my Buffalo Bills memorabilia
Greenspan: sucks for you