Tuesday, February 09, 2016

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – February 7 , 2016

Jon Karl
Donald Trump
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)

Stephanopoulos: omg the New 
primary is in two days!

Stephanopoulos: Trump leads 
by double digits!

Karl: Trump said he won't
invade every other nation!

Trump: you win with Trump!

Cruz: I like the Donald

Christie: you're stupid a weasel

Rubio: Obama knows what he's doing!

Kasich: can't we all just get along?

Bush: Trump tried to take stuff from 
an old lady who is not my mother

Trump: rich people hate me

Karl: Trump went after the
audience which is really weird

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: welcome Donald Trump

Trump: thank you James

Stephanopoulos: how was it last night?

Trump: it was a fun debate

Stephanopoulos: you tried to 
take an old woman's house for 
your casino parking lot

Trump: I was very nice to her
and only sued her for three years

Stephanopoulos: you took it up
to the highest court

Trump: I could've sued even higher

Stephanopoulos: any second thoughts
about running the most racist campaign
in modern history?

Trump: you would have no
hospitals without eminent domain!

Stephanopoulos: the debate
crowd was mad at you

Trump: those were all rich
people bribing Jeb Bush

Stephanopoulos: probably

Trump: Bush used eminent
domain for his baseball stadium!

Stephanopoulos: that was
George W Bush not Jeb Bush

Trump: it's all one family!

Stephanopoulos: right

Trump: the whole crowd
was paid by Jeb Bush

Stephanopoulos: you want to bring back
something worse than waterboarding

Trump: America is under siege!

Stephanopoulos: all right

Trump: Americans are living in 
Medieval Times

Stephanopoulos: you would 
authorize torture?

Trump: I would order much 
worse than torture!

Stephanopoulos: do we win by
being just like our enemies?

Trump: we're living in the most 
evil times in history!

Stephanopoulos: well there was the Holocaust

Trump: I've studied at Medieval Times!

Stephanopoulos: no doubt

Trump: they're chopping heads off!

Stephanopoulos: so you would 
also chop heads off

Trump: yes!

Stephanopoulos: golly

Trump: our enemies laugh at us –
they love waterboarding

Stephanopoulos: amazing

Trump: no wonder the terrorists are winning!

Stephanopoulos: you claim you opposed
the Iraq war but there is no evidence for this

Trump: I opposed it in 2004

Stephanopoulos: but that's after the
war turned into a bungled quagmire
based on a lie

Trump: technically

Stephanopoulos: you're going
to ban gay marriage

Trump: I will bring people together!

Stephanopoulos: how does that work

Trump: this country has never
been this divided

Stephanopoulos: well maybe during Antietam

Trump: I opposed the Antietam war!

Stephanopoulos: the American
people approve of gay marriage

Trump: well I don't

Stephanopoulos: so you oppose equality

Trump: we're going to bring people together !

Stephanopoulos: but that's the
opposite of bringing people together

Trump: we'll see

Stephanopoulos: how do you 
like New Hampshire?

Trump: I won Iowa!

Stephanopoulos: you came in second

Trump: no no – I won in Iowa

Stephanopoulos: actually you
really did come in second

Trump: well anyway I beat Rubio

Stephanopoulos: what happened to
that guy during the debate?

Trump: he's a loser!

Stephanopoulos: will you win New Hampshire?

Trump: they'd better vote for me
because I will a great president

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming

Trump: you too Jake

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: welcome Marco

Rubio: nice to talk to you Steph

Rubio: [ on tape ] 
Let's dispel the nation!
Obama knows what he's doing!
Dispel it! Dispel it with fire!

Stephanopoulos: you come
across like robotic idiot

Rubio: Obama is purposefully
trying to destroy America!

Stephanopoulos: I see

Rubio: it's part of a plan!

Stephanopoulos: you endlessly
repeat canned speeches

Rubio: it's what I believe

Stephanopoulos: I see

Rubio: Barack Obama is
trying to weaken America

Stephanopoulos: I see

Rubio: soon it will be
too late to save America

Stephanopoulos: Lindsay 
Graham said you sucked

Rubio: well he supports Jeb

Stephanopoulos: true

Rubio: no one else know more
about foreign policy than me

Stephanopoulos: Trump wants to commit
war crimes worse than waterboarding –
where do you stand on torture

Rubio: we have to keep our really
awesome pain infliction secrets

Stephanopoulos: right

Rubio: right now we're not
interrogating terrorists

Stephanopoulos: we're not?

Rubio: yes – Obama isn't doing
anything against terrorists!

Stephanopoulos: you don't support
abortion exceptions even for rape or incest

Rubio: abortion is not a political issue

Stephanopoulos: it's not?

Rubio: besides I have supported
exceptions in the past

Stephanopoulos: well what is
your position on abortion

Rubio: I will sign a law with exceptions

Stephanopoulos: all right

Rubio: but I will never change my
personal beliefs that there should
be no exceptions

Stephanopoulos: I don't underestand

Rubio: I think a fetus has a right to
live but I will sign a law with exceptions

Stephanopoulos: since you're not
making sense let's move on

Stephanopoulos: what is it a mistake to
support amnesty in the Gang of Eight bill

Rubio: when I'm president it will be different

Stephanopoulos: would you sign a bill 
granting amnesty as president?

Rubio: no because I've changed my mind

Stephanopoulos: okay then

Rubio: I will never sign a bill 
without sealing the border

Stephanopoulos: so do you 
regret supporting amnesty

Rubio: no because illegals are bad

Stephanopoulos: is Trump ready
to be commander in chief

Rubio: no he's needs to learn foreign policy

Stephanopoulos: strong words

Rubio: North Korea is about 
start a war with Guam!

Stephanopoulos: my goodness

Rubio: on my first day in office I
expect North Korea to attack Los Angeles

Stephanopoulos: so Trump is 
not ready to be President

Rubio: the leader of North Korea 
is a total lunatic!

Stephanopoulos: so Trump can 
relate well to him

Rubio: good point

Stephanopoulos: your plan is to keep
coming in third until you win

Rubio: I am not going anywhere!

Stephanopoulos: but you failed last night

Rubio: I am not going anywhere!

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Marco

Stephanopoulos: I am not going anywhere!

Stephanopoulos: he's got a glitch again

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