Donald Trump
Hillary Clinton
Stephanopoulos:
omg it's a 'Special
Edition'
of This Week!
Stephanopoulos:
voters are so angry!
Stephanopoulos:
tomorrow we will
know
just how
furious they are!
Trump:
get out of bed and caucus
you fucking losers!
Chelsea:
I need another Presidential
Parent
Duck
Dynasty: Donald
Trump is a coward
Sanders:
here's some hippie music!
Stephanopoulos:
polls show Trump
has
28% and Ted Cruz
is at 23%
Stephanopoulos:
Clinton has
only
a 3 point lead
Stephanopoulos:
they're so close!
Karl:
Bernie Sanders
has the younger
voters
and here's what's
really interesting
– Clinton
leads among younger voters
Stephanopoulos:
Bill Clinton is
out
there campaigning
for Hillary
Karl:
He
loves it and they love him!
Stephanopoulos:
Trump is leading
but
he also has
problems
Karl:
Republicans dislike him
Stephanopoulos:
that could be a
problem
Karl:
45% of Republicans may
still
change their mind
Stephanopoulos:
wow
Stephanopoulos:
welcome Donald Trump
Trump:
good to be here George
Stephanopoulos: most of your
supporters have never caucused before – aren't you worried they may get lost or wander around aimlessly or stay home hiding from immigrants
Trump:
that's might happen
but
if they do
turn out I win big
Stephanopoulos:
It's a well-know
fact
that you're a little crazy
– is that
what
we want in a President?
Trump:
I love the Bible – it's a best seller!
Stephanopoulos:
you're friends
with
Bill and Hillary
Trump:
people everyone
loves me
and
by the way everyone
hates Ted Cruz
Stephanopoulos:
but they were at
one
of your weddings
Trump:
I'm a world class businessman
– that's
where all the good deals are
being
made these days
Stephanopoulos:
you're not
principled
Trump:
I get along with everybody!
Stephanopoulos:
Ted Cruz says
you're
a socialist abortionist
Trump:
he's a total liar
Stephanopoulos:
oh really
Trump:
I hate Obamacare!
Stephanopoulos:
all right
Trump:
he lied about his Wall Street loans
Stephanopoulos:
right
Trump:
this is why not
one
Senator endorsed him
Stephanopoulos:
no Senators
have
endorsed you either
Trump:
Jerry Falwell's son endorsed me
Stephanopoulos:
okay
Trump:
Sarah Palin and Sheriff
Joe endorsed me
Stephanopoulos:
impressive
Trump:
I have great endorsements!
Stephanopoulos:
you want the
government
to pay for health care
Trump:
we have to help people
if they are dying
Stephanopoulos:
how will
you do that
Trump:
we will work with
doctors and hospitals
Stephanopoulos:
what is your plan
Trump:
I have a heart!
Stephanopoulos:
if you say so
Trump:
we will work something out
Stephanopoulos:
Trump:
Ted Cruz is heartless
– I don't care if I lose
I
will give the sick health care!
Stephanopoulos:
but you won't say
how
Trump:
Obamacare is disaster!
Stephanopoulos:
all right
Trump:
it's outrageous!
Stephanopoulos:
I got it
Trump:
repeal Obamacare!
Stephanopoulos:
are you worried
about Rubio
Trump:
I will crush that
pipsqueak
Stephanopoulos:
I see
Trump:
my company has great cash flow!
Stephanopoulos:
how nice
Trump:
Cruz
in the pocket of his big donors
Stephanopoulos:
is that so
Trump:
I don't want their money!
Stephanopoulos:
he probably doesn't
either
Trump:
I love the American people!
Stephanopoulos:
did you ever imagine
that
you would be leading in every state
in
January in 2016
Trump:
no!
Stephanopoulos:
none of us did
Trump:
I'm
even beating
Jeb and Marco in
Florida!
Stephanopoulos:
incredible
Trump:
I'm crushing it in Hampshire
Stephanopoulos:
amazing
Trump:
I'm
going to win Iowa
Stephanopoulos:
wow
Trump:
no one knows health
care better than me
Stephanopoulos:
do you have any
regrets
what
with all the racism and such
Trump:
no because
I'm winning everywhere
Stephanopoulos:
fair enough
Trump:
I have by far the most loyal people
Stephanopoulos:
good luck Donald
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
welcome Senator
Clinton
Clinton:
nice to see you again George
Stephanopoulos:
are you going to
lose
again like you did
in 2008?
Clinton:
hopefully not!
Stephanopoulos:
okay
Clinton:
but it's close –
you gotta
get out and caucus!
Stephanopoulos:
22 of
your e-mails
have
been re-classified as secret and very hush hush
Clinton:
but they
were not marked classified!
Stephanopoulos:
I see
Clinton:
I want them all
released!
Stephanopoulos:
what is in
those e-mails?
Clinton:
that's
classified
Stephanopoulos:
is this
political?
Clinton:
I question the
timing George
Stephanopoulos:
you agreed not to
disclose
classified
information regardless
Clinton:
and I never did!
Stephanopoulos:
perhaps
Clinton:
plus they were not
marked classified!
Stephanopoulos:
interesting
Clinton:
one of these was a
published
newspaper
report for pete's
sake!
Stephanopoulos:
okay
Clinton:
Republicans used
Benghazi against me
Stephanopoulos:
we all know that
Clinton:
I testified in
public for 11 hours!
Stephanopoulos:
was it a mistake
to
set up a private server?
Clinton:
yes because you
won't
shut up about it
Stephanopoulos:
Bernie says he hates
guns
and
loves Planned
Parenthood
Clinton:
I took on the gun
lobby for years
Stephanopoulos:
got it
Clinton:
Planned
Parenthood endorsed
me
Stephanopoulos:
true
Clinton:
and I was endorsed
by the Brady Campaign!
Stephanopoulos:
they're a fun bunch
Clinton:
the gays endorsed me
too!
Stephanopoulos:
Claire McCaskill
calls
Bernie a communist
Clinton:
if the hammer fits
Stephanopoulos:
will nominating
a
socialist
make it harder for
Democrats to win
Clinton:
well duh of course
Stephanopoulos:
so you claim
Clinton:
I'm tried and tested
and vetted and ready!
Stephanopoulos:
Robert Reich says
you're
the candidate we deserve and
Bernie
is the one we need
Clinton:
I want a renaissance
in
manufacturing
and health care and equal pay
Stephanopoulos:
sounds good
Clinton:
I won in New York
state twice
and
even Republicans said I was a
good
Secretary of State
Stephanopoulos:
those were the days
Clinton:
working
people have been
left behind!
Stephanopoulos:
good luck
Clinton:
thanks George!
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