Guests:
Pierre
Thomas
Jon
Karl
Ted
Cruz (R-TX)
Donald
Trump
Sen.
Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Stephanopoulos:
omg
scalia died!
Stephanopoulos:
there
is already
an
epic
battle for his successor!
Thomas:
he was a giant in the
law
Thomas:
and
no he
was not murdered
Thomas:
he was a conservative champion!
Obama:
Scalia
influenced a generation
Thomas:
all of Washington is stunned!
Karl:
the battle lines are being drawn!
Karl:
It's a titanic fight!
Karl:
Mitch McConnell says the
court should
not function until
we have a white President
Obama:
fuck that shit
Trump:
delay! delay!
delay!
Cruz:
Obama is
not allowed
to
nominate anyone
Kasich:
we should not allow the
black
President to do anything
Stephanopoulos:
this
could go on for a year!
Karl:
one third of all Supreme
Court
cases
end in a fist fight
Stephanopoulos:
omg
there was
a
nasty a
GOP debate
this
week
Rubio:
Cruz
is
a liar!
Trump:
Rubio
is liar!
Kasich:
let's bash Obama instead!
Trump:
Jeb is stupid!
Jeb:
he hates Hispanic
women
Trump:
no I hate all women
Jeb:
my brother kept us safe!
Trump:
he
gave us 9/11
dipshit
Audience:
booooo
Trump:
Bush lied about
Iraq!
Cruz:
Rubio is an illegal immigrant
Rubio:
he doesn't he speak Spanish!
Cruz:
me habla esperanto
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
welcome
back Senator Cruz
Cruz:
hola
jorge
Stephanopoulos:
Reagan
nominated
Anthony
Kennedy with
13 months left
Cruz:
no the Constitution forbids exercise
of
Presidential power with 12 months left in a term
Stephanopoulos:
no
it doesn't
Cruz:
the
Democrats refused to confirm Bjork
Stephanopoulos:
I
recall that
Cruz:
the Court is exquisitely
balanced now
– why
ruin it with another justice who will
unbalance
it and make it topple over
Stephanopoulos:
strong
argument
Cruz:
the people should decide
the next justice
Stephanopoulos:
like
a referendum
Cruz:
we should not allow a lame
duck
President to steal the court
Stephanopoulos:
you're
not big
on
democracy or law are you
Cruz:
Obama is trying to steal
a conservative seat!
Stephanopoulos:
will
you filibuster
anyone
Obama nominates?
Cruz:
yes the people should choose
the
next justice
Stephanopoulos:
they
could vote
on their phones
Cruz:
if Democrats want to fill
this
vacancy
they
should the Presidential
election
Stephanopoulos:
I
was under the
impression they did
Cruz:
if
Obama names Scalia's successor
our
fetuses
will
not have
guns
Stephanopoulos:
the
people had
a
choice
and they elected
Barack
Obama
Cruz:
but
that
was three
years
ago
so
it doesn't count
Stephanopoulos:
you
were elected
three years ago
Cruz:
elections have consequences!
Stephanopoulos:
isn't
that the point
Cruz:
Republican Supreme
Court
nominees
turn out to be disasters!
Stephanopoulos:
if
you say so
Cruz:
liberals will take guns
away from our soldiers
Stephanopoulos:
I
did not know that
Cruz:
Trump will appoint a liberal!
Stephanopoulos:
you
supported
John Roberts
Cruz:
that was a mistake
Stephanopoulos:
I
see
Cruz:
Trump supports Chuck Schumer
who
is a Jew from New York city
Stephanopoulos:
go
on
Cruz:
Trump's
sister performs a
bortions
on the bench
Stephanopoulos:
golly
Cruz:
Donald
Trump
is not a
conservative
– he's
a wacko
Stephanopoulos:
coming
from
you
that's saying something
Cruz:
Trumps
loves partial birth abortions!
Stephanopoulos:
is
that right?
Cruz:
Planned Parenthood does
bad
things and no good things
Stephanopoulos:
okay
Cruz:
I've
devoted my life to the
Conservative
movement
– what has Trump
ever done?
Stephanopoulos:
he
once
created a
board
game about how awesome he is
Cruz:
I don't want to look at my
daughters and
say
'girls you have
freedom of choice because
daddy
failed to stop a megalomaniac'
Stephanopoulos:
that
would be awkward
Cruz:
we can't elect a liberal game show host!
Stephanopoulos:
plus
Alex Trebek
was
born in Canada and so is not eligible
Cruz:
I wouldn't go that far
Stephanopoulos:
oh
right
Cruz:
it makes no sense to elect a
reality
show star commander
in chief
Stephanopoulos:
perhaps
not
Cruz:
he's a creature
of the
fevered
swamp of the left
Stephanopoulos:
that
sounds
scary
Cruz:
Trump
won't
keep us safe!
Stephanopoulos:
thanks
for coming Ted
Cruz:
muchas gracias
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
Ted
Cruz says
you're
a leftist abortion lover
Trump:
he's an idiot and no one like him
Stephanopoulos:
that
is true
Trump:
he's not a leader!
Stephanopoulos:
perhaps
not
Trump:
the
war
in Iraq
was a mistake!
Stephanopoulos:
that's
true
Trump:
he's nasty and disgraceful
Stephanopoulos:
oooh
Trump:
he's a anti-Chrisitian and a fraud
Stephanopoulos:
did
you really
want impeach
George
W. Bush?
Trump:
of course – let's not
be politically correct
Stephanopoulos:
tough
words
Trump:
Jeb took a week to
decide
Iraq was a bad idea
Stephanopoulos:
why
rush it
Trump:
we de-stabilised
the whole region!
Stephanopoulos:
a
bit
Trump:
In 2004 I said don't invade a Iraq
Stephanopoulos:
a
year after the invasion
Trump:
in 2004 I said don't do this war
Stephanopoulos:
a
bit late
Stephanopoulos:
you
said impeaching
Bush
would be wonderful thing
Trump:
we all make mistakes but
that
boy
oh boy invading Iraq was
a
beauty
Stephanopoulos:
fair
point
Trump:
I love the wounded warriors!
Stephanopoulos:
we
all do
Trump:
now Iran
is taking over Iraq!
Stephanopoulos:
got
it
Trump:
I said keep the oil!
Stephanopoulos:
you
did?
Trump:
I said bomb the oil!
Stephanopoulos:
oh
okay
Stephanopoulos:
Cruz
says you
will appoint
your sister who is a
liberal to
the Supreme
Court
Trump:
my sister is a brilliant
person
and
I
was joking
Stephanopoulos:
he
says you
are
you real conservative
Trump:
John Roberts gave us Obamacare!
Stephanopoulos:
sort
of
Trump:
he voted for Obamacare
twice
all because
of Ted Cruz
Stephanopoulos:
I
see
Trump:
Ted
Cruz
should shut
his fucking mouth
Stephanopoulos:
the
crowd
booed you last night
Trump:
that
room was full of lobbyists
Stephanopoulos:
very
mean lobbyists
Trump:
Jeb
is a total failure!
Stephanopoulos:
go
on
Trump:
I'm
the only one who can beat Hillary!
Stephanopoulos:
thanks
for coming Donald
Trump:
you too Jack
[
break ]
Stephanopoulos:
welcome
Senator Rubio
Rubio:
nice to be here Steph
Stephanopoulos:
everyone
is
calling
you a
robot
Rubio:
I'm
not running
against
Republicans
Stephanopoulos:
um
yes you are
Rubio:
Cruz lies about my
positions
on
abortion and
gays
and
immigration
Stephanopoulos:
he
does?
Rubio:
yes I hate all of them
Stephanopoulos:
will
you filibuster
any
Supreme
Court nominee
put
forward by the President
Rubio:
we should not appoint
any
justices until after the election
Stephanopoulos:
so
as President you
would
not
do anything in your fourth year?
Rubio:
there is legal precedent to
have
no
nominees in the President's second term
Stephanopoulos:
amazing
Rubio:
the next
President should make
the
appointment
and
that person
should
be me
Stephanopoulos:
Trump
said Bush
was
wrong
to
invade Iraq
Rubio:
that's disturbing
Stephanopoulos:
he
said Bush lied
Rubio:
let's dispel with the
notion
that Bush is a liar
Rubio:
Bush
didn't lie! He's just invaded
a
big country in the middle east by
mistake
Stephanopoulos:
will
you support
Trump
in November
Rubio:
yes because Bernie
Sanders
is a communist
Stephanopoulos:
thanks
for coming Marco
Rubio:
you too Josh
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