Guests:
Fmr.
Gov. Jeb Bush (R-FL)
Speaker
Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Matt
Bai
David
Brooks
Helene
Cooper
Anne
Gearan
Todd:
omg Jeb Bush's failed
spectacularly
at the debate!
Todd:
his new slogan is 'Jeb Can Fix It!'
–
but can he?
Todd:
I sat down with Jeb Bush to ask
him what the fuck is wrong with him
Todd:
good afternoon Jeb
Bush:
nice to be here Ted
Todd:
do you still want to be President?
Bush:
actually I'd rather be
playing
with my model trains
Todd:
that makes sense
Bush:
I have an amazing setup
in my basement
Todd:
so will you drop out?
Bush:
I would but mommy won't let me
Todd:
oh no?
Bush:
no she says we have to have
at
least one Bush who didn't fail at
President
and now it's my turn
Todd:
can you understand why some
supporters
find that less than inspiring?
Bush:
no not at all
Todd:
really?
Bush:
yes really
Todd:
do you not understand why
people
don't want to volunteer for a
third-generation
aristocrat who would
rather
be playing with trains?
Bush:
that's just the liberal media talking
Todd:
actually no one likes you
Bush:
we got 300 people in New Hampshire!
Todd:
Obama got 250,000 in Germany
Bush:
only because they love
black people there
Todd:
in the debate young Marco Rubio
smacked
you around and you didn't fight back
Bush:
I got cut off
Todd:
that's your excuse?
Bush:
it was a weird debate
Todd:
no doubt about that
Bush:
I wanted to stand up for
myself
but the moderator stopped me
Todd:
sheesh
Bush:
I was a governor and I
accomplished big things!
Todd:
how nice for you
Bush:
marco is nice person but
he's
never accomplished anything
Todd:
good put down
Bush:
Hillary Clinton never did anything either
Todd:
yeah you said that already
Bush:
I can break the gridlock and
change
the culture in Washington
Todd:
did you watch the debate?
Bush:
no – I don't like fantasy television
Todd:
do you want to be a good
debater some day?
Bush:
yes I'd like to maybe
Todd:
how do you do that?
Bush:
I'll do a reset – I'm grinder
Todd:
okay then
Bush:
those things are not debates
Todd:
well whatever you
call
them you suck at it
Bush:
I can speak in sentences
Todd:
how nice for you
Bush:
I have ideas
Todd: how nice
Bush:
Obama caused the recession
in
2007 and it breaks my heart
Todd:
yes that's so sad
Bush:
America has never gone
through
this anything like this before
Todd:
well maybe in the Civil War
or the 19th
century depression or the
Great Depression or
the Bush recession
or the Bush Depression
Bush:
okay except for those times
Bush:
but we can have a true time of
abundance
if only cut taxes for rich people
Todd:
you're very frustrated
Bush:
no I'm not
Todd:
you said you wanted to
quit
and do other cool things
Bush:
no I was saying don't
elect
me if you want gridlock
Todd:
bold stand indeed
Bush:
I got a standing ovation
– just
ask Tim Scott
Todd:
I did and he said no one likes you
Bush:
he did??
Todd:
no I'm just kidding
Bush:
I'm going to shake up the system
Todd:
your grandfather was a Senator
and
your Dad and brother were both
President
and you're going to shake
up the system?
Bush:
I'm going to crush the establishment!
Todd:
when I look up Establishment
in
the dictionary there's a picture
of your family
Bush:
I want to help poor people by
cutting
taxes and regulations on rich people
Todd:
you say Republicans appeal
to
people's fears and emotions
Bush:
message – 'I am optimistic'
Todd:
who's a pessimist?
Bush:
Donald Trump
Todd:
how about Ben Carson?
Bush:
he's a bit of an optimist
Todd:
he's a bit of a loon
Bush:
I believe America is
on
the verge of greatness
Todd:
people are skeptical
of
a guy named Bush
Bush:
yeah – I've got to go earn it
Todd:
indeed you do
Bush:
my campaign is has
hit
a rocky place no doubt
Todd:
that much is certain
Bush:
but fighting and getting wounded
and
killed in any one of my family's many
wars
is harder than running for President
Bush:
true enough
Todd:
you said early on you were willing
to
lose the primary and I've got to give
you
credit you certainly proven it
Bush:
I'm not going to prey on people's fears
Todd:
of course not
Bush:
you can't win playing to
people's
anger and frustrations
Todd:
you said you want to work with
Democrats
– will that anger GOP primary voters?
Bush:
Obama is a divider-in-chief!
Todd:
you don't think the GOP is divisive?
Bush:
well of course it is
Todd:
just checking
Bush:
Hillary thinks the GOP are her enemy!
Todd:
I can't imagine why
Bush:
Reagan did it!
Todd:
you think the Bush family
is
entitled to the White House
Bush:
no but I would kill someone for my dad
Todd:
anyone in particular?
Bush:
I would go to prison for my dad
Todd:
you think that's likely to come up?
Bush:
hey you never know
Todd:
your father is an old school patrician
who
hates Donald Trump because he's a
low
class guy from Queens
Bush:
my dad is obsessed with
the
Sunday talk shows
Todd:
so he's the one
Bush:
yeah he can't get enough of them
Todd:
what about litmus tests for cabinet positions?
Bush:
I oppose litmus tests but I would
apply
them to the Supreme Court
Todd:
what about a Constitutional
amendment
to ban abortion?
Bush:
life is a gift from god and
I
don't intend on wasting it
Todd:
that's a line from 'Titanic'
Bush:
Bar and Poppy were on the
'California'
and said keep sailing
Todd:
what about the death penalty
Bush:
boy that's another tough one
Todd:
just man up and answer John
Bush:
it's not a deterrent and costs too much
Todd:
that's probably right
Bush:
it's hard for me to sign a
death
warrant because I'm such
a
devout christian
Todd:
so you're against it?
Bush:
but then again families
need
closure so I did it anyway
Todd:
um okay
Bush:
we should execute people more quickly!
Todd:
wait I'm confused – now you're for it?
Bush:
the death penalty isn't an either / or thing
Todd:
it kind of is
Bush:
in what way?
Todd:
you're “either” for it “or”
you're against it
Bush:
oh I see
Todd:
well duh
Bush:
I can see both sides
Bush:
on one hand human life
is
a gift from god
Bush:
but on the other hand the first
obligation
of the state to is make relatives
of
crime victims happy
Todd:
what exceptions would you
make when
taking bodily control
away from Americans
Bush:
rape and incest and life of the mother
Todd:
but not 'health of the mother'
Bush:
no that's stupid
Todd:
what would someone
who
doesn't like you say about you
Bush:
as Governor I said said
'my
way or the highway'
Todd:
you were too dogmatic when
you
were was governor of Florida
Bush:
right
Todd:
you didn't compromise
Bush:
I fought and I had a heart
Todd:
you did?
Bush:
yes it was in a jar on my desk
Todd:
wow
Bush:
I was a servant leader
Todd:
thanks for coming
Bush:
you too
[
break ]
Todd:
David Brooks you say
time
has passed Jeb Bush by
Brooks:
he nice guy but he's too
much
of a WASP and a gentleman
Todd:
but the Bush family
plays
vicious politics – let's go to the tape
Todd:
your campaign blasted Rubio
Bush:
I never saw that piece
Todd:
excuse me but it's from your campaign
Bush:
I dont know anything about that
Todd:
omg hes a politician!
Gearan:
he's trying to kill the king but failing
Todd:
he said he didn't respond
to
Rubio because the moderator
wouldn't
let him
Bai:
hes never given anyone a
reason
to elect him President
Cooper:
Bush and Rubio could win a
general
election and now they've got
to
go after each other
Todd:
what evidence is there that
Jeb is electable?
Brooks:
he should saying “I'm going to
be your
sedative and your laxative”
Todd:
you're a weird one David
Gearan:
the campaign is very
corporate
and Bush-like
Todd:
sounds great
Gearan:
we're too tough on our candidates
– especially
when they're named Bush
Bai:
it's too early to write
candidates
off – you never know!
Brooks:
it feels like it's coming down
to
Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio
Todd:
really?
Brooks:
I'm assuming Trump and
Carson go away
Todd:
keep assuming David
[
break ]
Todd:
here's a nerdscreen about how
long
people waited between running for office
Todd:
omg it's been 14 years since the
last time Jeb ran for office!
Todd:
George H.W. Bush waited 10 years
between
running for Congress in 1970 and
for
President in 1980 where he lost
Todd:
welcome Mister Speaker
Ryan:
please call me Speaker Paul
Todd:
all right
Ryan:
I never wanted to be Speaker
Todd:
it just fell in your lap!
Ryan:
we need to be on offense
Todd:
you have a lot of political
capital right now
Ryan:
we're going to start over
Todd:
how so?
Ryan:
run Congress like the
Founders intended
Todd:
from Wall Street?
Ryan:
we Republicans need
to
be more effective
Todd:
might as well try anything once
Ryan:
also we have to be
a
good alternative party
Todd:
go for it
Ryan:
we need a bold specific agenda!
Todd:
are you going to do all that yourself?
Ryan:
no I'm no dictator
Todd:
good to know
Ryan:
we're bold in hating
Obama
but timid on alternative ideas
Todd:
give me an example
Ryan:
there are too many poor people!
Todd:
okay
Ryan:
we should probably have
a health care plan
Todd:
what about Donald Trump?
Ryan:
Trump would be a much
better
President than Clinton
Todd:
oh man you're as
crazy
as the others
Ryan:
but with better biceps
Todd:
would allow an
immigration
bill up for a vote?
Ryan:
I would pass an immigration bill but Obama hurt my feelings so I
won't
Todd:
that's incredibly petty
Ryan:
it would be good for America
but
the Republicans are having
a
temper tantrum
Todd:
I can't believe you're admitting to this
Ryan:
yes we're purposefully hurting the
country
because we don't like the President
Todd:
amazing
Ryan:
we should build a big wall!
Todd:
so you're refusing all immigration
reform
as long as the guy from Kenya
is President
Ryan:
right
Todd:
and you flat-out refuse to work with him
Ryan:
that's right
Todd:
anything else?
Ryan:
Obama is the divider in chief!
Todd:
should we dock the
pay
of Congress if they miss votes?
Ryan:
hat's a cheap shot
Todd:
Ted Cruz doesn't like you
Ryan:
so what?
Todd:
who is a neglected minority?
Ryan:
Republicans in Congress
Todd:
they're all rich white men who
have
the biggest majority in decades
Ryan:
see how they suffer?
Todd:
you want to spend time
with
your family so do you favor
paid
family leave?
Ryan:
no way – that's a brand
new
entitlement program!
Todd:
I get it
Ryan:
we should all go to more
volleyball games!
Todd:
it's a fun past time
Ryan:
I'm going to commute from Wisconsin
Todd:
that's pretty far
Ryan:
I'll manage
Todd:
will you continue to
sleep
in your office?
Ryan:
it's very comfortable
Todd:
does smell of smoke
Ryan:
oh god it's awful
Todd:
heh
Ryan:
no really it's terrible
Todd:
thanks for coming
Ryan:
you too Todd
[
break ]
Todd:
so what's the deal with
the Republicans?
Cooper:
the GOP has moved the right and
will
destroy Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio
Todd:
the GOP want a fighter
with
an apocalyptic message
Bai:
we were all disappointed by
Obama
because he didn't fix
the Republican party
Todd:
the irony is that young
politicians
are often risk averse
Todd:
Obama was sold to us a
bold
guy but really he was cautious
Todd:
Jeb Bush is actually bold!
Gearan:
Paul Ryan is not risk averse
but very bold
Todd:
Obama is putting 50 boots on the ground in Syria
Obama:
boots on the ground would be a mistake!
Todd:
omg Obama broke his promise!
Cooper:
there were always U.S.
boots
on the ground in Syria
Todd:
I guess so
Cooper:
remember Obama opposed
the Iraq war
Todd:
no!
Cooper:
I sense sarcasm there Chuck
Chuck:
you don't say!
Cooper:
they want to form a
big
coalition against Syria
Brooks:
boots on the ground makes
no sense
because some of our troops
wear sneakers
Todd:
god you're dumb
Brooks:
I give him credit because
the region is
falling apart of course
America has to take charge
Todd:
but Obama is so timid!
Gearan:
yes right
Todd:
I talk to Jeb Bush some more!
Todd:
what are your thoughts on
Obama
sending troops to Iraq?
Bush:
the surge worked! We fixed Iraq!
Todd:
sorry I mean intelligent thoughts
Bush:
we should have armed the Kurds!
Todd:
so do we need a new surge?
Bush:
we should do what Obama is doing
Todd:
Ted Cruz and Trump want
to
stay out of the middle east
Bai:
we're still stuck in these wars
– its
incredible
Todd: it is taking a while
Bai:
it's a long term ideological struggle!
Todd:
Clinton is advocating for more intervention
Cooper:
well so is Obama
Todd:
good point
Bai:
Bernie Sanders is a guy with
a
thick Brooklyn accent and
that's
not Presidential
Todd:
Hillary had an amazing 10 days
and
their air is out of the Sanders balloon
Cooper:
you cannot defeat the Clinton juggernaut!
Todd:
her team slightly accused
him
of sexism and it unnerved Sanders
Gearan:
yeah I don't know
Todd:
is he a good foil for her
Brooks:
he lost the moment he took the e-mails off the table
Todd:
but he's well to her left
Brooks:
he has to win by calling her dishonest
Todd:
Paul Ryan went to Halloween
was
dressed as Romney!
Todd:
college football!
Cooper
I hate Duke!
Todd:
and that's another
episode
of Meet The Press
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