Sunday, April 20, 2014

Meet The Press – April 20, 2014

Arseniy Yatsenyuk – Prime Minister of Ukraine
Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN)
Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT)
Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL)
Radhika Jones
David Shribman
Jo Becker
Chuck Todd
David Brooks

Gregory: violence in Ukraine

Gregory: what happened to
the deal to make peace in Ukraine?

Yatsenyuk: Russia is supporting
terrorists in my country!

Gregory: Putin wants to annex all of Ukraine

Yatsenyuk: he's crazy person!

Gregory: go on

Yatsenyuk: he yearns for Soviet Union!

Gregory: should Poland be worried?

Yatsenyuk: Ukraine was tricked into
giving up nuclear weapons –
that threatens everyone

Gregory: would you like America
to send you guns – we have plenty of them

Yatsenyuk: the Ukraine military
has been dismantled

Gregory: so do you need guns or not?

Yatsenyuk: we need everything Fluffy!

Gregory: what can you negotiate?

Yatsenyuk: We can give more rights
to Russian speakers and in return
Putin can kiss my Ukrainian ass

Gregory: you seem a tad angry

Yatsenyuk: Putin is invading my country!

Gregory: are Jews at risk in Ukraine?

Yatsenyuk: We are going to find
these anti-semite bastards and kill them!!!

[ break ]

Gregory: Bob please bash Obama for me

Corker: Obama is weak!!

Gregory: thanks

Corker: we should punish oil
companies and send guns to Ukraine!

Gregory: go on

Corker: the whole crisis is
Obama's fault to being with!

Gregory: I love you

Corker: they only have 6,000
troops that's smaller than the NYPD

Gregory: there are parts of Brooklyn I
would advise Russia not to invade

Corker: plus it would be redundant

Murphy: we already gave Ukraine
$10 million in meals ready to eat

Gregory: but Senator Corker
how do you answer the charge
that Obama is weak?

Corker: I must reluctantly admit
that Obama is very very weak

Gregory: that must have been hard for you

Corker: the wisest thing Assad did
was to kill thousands of people

Gregory: exactly

Corker: the whole world is watching!

Gregory: but Europe is even
weaker than Obama!

Corker: right

Gregory: how do you send
the message to Putin that
enough is enough!

Murphy: we can't let Putin
get away with this!

Gregory: fuck yeah!

Murphy: we could send emergency
natural gas to Europe if Russia cuts them off

Gregory: is Snowden a Putin stooge?

Corker: for sure – the Russian
government spies on everyone all the time

Gregory: I thought so

Corker: also Obama is the weakest
person of all time and creates and
air of permissiveness all around the world

Gregory: it almost like other people
and countries think they don't need
America's permission to do
things around the world

Corker: I know it's crazy right

[ break ]

Gregory: David Brooks on Ukraine
is Obama weak or smart?

Brooks: this is just like war in the
19th century – when dealing with 
an empire you gotta create a buffer zone

Gregory: Obama can't pick a fight
with Russia over a country no
one has ever heard of outside
of one Seinfeld episode

Jones: that sounds right

Shribman: we should worry if
Russia tries to re-create the Warsaw Pact

Gregory: Snowden asked Putin
about surveillance and Putin said
'oh no we're not as bad as America'

Todd: that was obviously a PR
stunt to poke America

Gregory: ha ha

Todd: no one cares

Gregory: I care

Todd: Obama is being tested –
what if China takes Japan's islands?

Brooks: Borders are borders until they are not

Gregory: you are wise old friend

Brooks: Obama has a manhood problem

Gregory: could you be more specific

Brooks: he has a small penis

Todd: Brooks is right – Obama makes
all the right decisions but he's
not an Alpha Male

Gregory: Obama took a victory
lap over Obamacare

Jones: the website temporarily didn't work!

Gregory: ha ha I remember that

Jones: no one likes Obamacare

Gregory: do people in Pittsburgh like the law?

Shribman: they're still mad about the website

Gregory: of course

Shribman: on the other hand 'Reaganomics'
was an epithet until it worked so
maybe that will apply to 'Obamacare'

Brooks: elusive the truth is

Todd: Democrats had better embrace
and fight on Obamacare or they'll
never get past it

Gregory: will Chelsea's baby change
the 2016 election?

Jones: no Fluffy

Shribman: she's winning by not running

Todd: Hillary needs to bring out
older white women in 2014

[ break ]

Gregory: Democrats are not exactly
embracing Obamacare

Wasserman-Schultz: the law is working

Gregory: is it?

Wasserman-Schultz: it's helping
people with pre-existing conditions
and lowering costs

Gregory: you're making an
argument on the merits

Wasserman-Schultz: um yes I am

Gregory: it may have helped millions
but some people still don't like it

Wasserman-Schultz: I'm glad you
concede that it's helped millions

Gregory: you're still making an
argument on the merits

Wasserman-Schultz: you seem
offended by that

Gregory: Meet The Press is about
pure politics not substance

Wasserman-Schultz: we have
a good ground game!

Gregory: but let's be honest –
I don't like Obama

Wasserman-Schultz: I'm sure 
the feeling's mutual

Gregory: Mary Landrieu wants another oil pipeline

Wasserman-Schultz: I know

Gregory: isn't it true that Obama is
reluctant to approve the pipeline
just because it would aggravate
climate change and doom mankind

Wasserman-Schultz: it's complex David

Gregory: should he approve the pipeline?

Wasserman-Schultz: we should
make the right decision

Gregory: before the elections?

Wasserman-Schultz: or not

Gregory: is 2014 a referendum
on President Obama?

Wasserman-Schultz: no it's a referendum
on the candidates in each race

Gregory: no it's about this
unpopular Democrat President!

Wasserman-Schultz: you watch
too much Fox News

Gregory: well a person can
only watch so much CNN
or they will go insane

Wasserman-Schultz: why not watch MSNBC?

Gregory: is that the network about prisons?

[ break ]

Gregory: some town in Kentucky
is getting a life-sized replica of Noah's ark

Resident: it will tell people
'wow this actually happened'

Tibbles: it will cost $150 million
to build the Noah's Ark theme park

Resident: why are my tax dollars
propping this up when we could
pay teachers and fill potholes?

Shribman: religion is public life can be divisive

Brooks: I am favor of anything
that reminds of us of morality
like drowning everyone on earth

Todd: this story is really about
struggling small town economies

Gregory: ha ha in 2012 Biden
undermined Obama on gay marriage!

Panel: hee hee

Becker: my investigation shows
there was a debate in the White
House over when to endorse gay marriage

Gregory: wow!

Becker: then you asked Biden
about gay marriage and he said
it's okay and all hell broke loose

Gregory: today is Easter but this
acceptance of gay rights proves no
one cares about social issues

Becker: or the country just
changed its mind on this one issue

Gregory: or is the religious right weak?

Jones: Sasha and Malia were all like
'Dad who cares about whether 
someone is gay?'

Brooks: this proves Obama is weak

Shribman: LBJ also pushed JFK on civil rights

Todd: Obama is brazenly political

Gregory: right

Todd: but the GOP is brazenly stupid

Gregory: and that's another
episode of Meet the Press

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