Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX)
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)
Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN)
Stephanopoulos: OMG John Kerry left
Geneva without a deal and the biggest
storm in history hit the Philippines
Reporter: we're hearing from social
media that's it really bad
Stephanopoulos: can Kerry make a
nuclear deal with Iran?
Moran: there was a giddiness and
then the French screwed everything up
Stephanopoulos: you're joking
Moran: the French of all people said
the deal wasn't tough enough
Moran: the Ayatollah went on twitter was all dude where's our deal #cheeseeatingsurrendermonkeys
Stephanopoulos: Chris Christie what
would you do about Iran?
Christie: how the hell should I know?
Stephanopoulos: but would you allow
them to enrich uranium?
Christie: I dunno – is it delicious?
Stephanopoulos: can you win in Iowa?
Christie: I won in fucking Jersey!
Stephanopoulos: yes I know
Christie: I won blacks, hispanics and moderates because we cracked down on teachers – everyone hates those apple-polishing chalk eaters
Stephanopoulos: will you run in 2016?
Christie: probably but who knows
Stephanopoulos: should undocumented immigrants get state tuition?
Christie: in the states we are practical
problem solvers and in DC that never happens
Stephanopoulos: what about a path to citizenship?
Christie: I don't care – I just know those
clowns in Washington don't get things done
Stephanopoulos: but should immigrants
get a path to citizenship?
Christie: I don't give a shit George
Stephanopoulos: but you must have an opinion
Christie: I have opinions on lots
of things but I don't share them
Stephanopoulos: you shared your
opinion on Obamacare
Christie: I tell you hard truths all the
time about everything
Stephanopoulos: so you say
Christie: health care is just too big
for the government to handle – it should stick
to little things like wars and disasters
Stephanopoulos: you took Medicaid money
Christie: because it was free cash –
you're damn right I took it
Stephanopoulos: bold move
Christie: I won 61% of the vote you little twerp
Stephanopoulos: Romney's people say
you have bad secrets
Christie: yeah I don't take advice from the
fucking losers who ran the Romney campaign
Stephanopoulos: oooh snap
Stephanopoulos: Time magazine called
you fat on their cover
Christie: it's a compliment to the wisdom
of the people of New Jersey that their
Governor is on the cover of Time
Christie: I went to a black church –
how many Republicans even do that?
Stephanopoulos: not many
Christie: damn fucking right
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Greeting Bob – what about Iran?
Menendez: we need to get tough on Iran
Stephanopoulos: do they have a
right to enrichment?
Menendez: even Canada doesn't enrich –
and they gave us Ted Cruz!
Stephanopoulos: good point
Menendez: we have to be careful with Iran
Stephanopoulos: what about new sanctions?
Menendez: I might be willing to
wait a week if Kerry asks nicely
Stephanopoulos: why the urgency?
Menendez: look we're playing good cop / bad cop
Stephanopoulos: who's the good cop?
Menendez: John Kerry
Stephanopoulos: who's the bad cop?
Menendez: John McCain
Stephanopoulos: I love it
[ break ]
Zeleny: is Chris Christie a real conservative?
Zeleny: you're skeptical
Perry: darn tootin'
Zeleny: is the tea party full of idiots?
Perry: we lost in 2008 and 2012 –
we're doin' somethin' wrong
Zeleny: Ted Cruz wrecked the government
Perry: he's a fun guy but kind of stupid
Stephanopoulos: the President apologized
Perry: Obama has to admit he's a
fraud and a liar and I forget the third thing
Zeleny: are you running for President ?
Perry: you betcha
Zeleny: can you recover from your foibles?
Perry: we've had dumber Presidents
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: It's clear Chris Christie
is running as a moderate
Gigot: he should run as a strong
conservative and an outsider
Roberts: he's a governor and a pragmatist
and a 'get things done' kind of guy
Navarro: he should not run as a
Republican but as a Christie
Navarro: if he could just win a few more
black and hispanic voters than Romney
we'd be in the White House
Ellison: he took relief money when
offered which I guess makes you a liberal
Stephanopoulos: are their skeletons in his closet?
Heileman: he was a lobbyist with Bernie Madoff
Navarro: these are all lies and Christie
is a saint who never yells at anyone