Sunday, June 16, 2013

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – June 16, 2013

Host: Jon Karl:
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-CA)
Jeremy Bash (fmr. CIA spokesman)
Jeffrey Goldberg
Newt Gingrich
Donna Brazile
George Will

Karl: omg we're going to send
arms to Syrian rebels!

Rubio: I've been pushing for this
for a long time but now that Obama
has decided to do it I'd like to warn
that it might turn out to be a very bad idea

Karl: what would President Rubio do?

Rubio: if I were President there
would be only good people
and no bad people

Karl: what about Iran?

Rubio: the people of Iran are very nice
but we must get tough on them
and cripple the country even more

Karl: do you support your
own immigration bill?

Rubio: no but that's just how the
legislative process works

Karl: I see

Rubio: look Republicans support
immigration as long as we can
have a 50-foot electrified fence

Karl: would support your own
bill without the big fence?

Rubio: no – it will never pass
without the big fence anyway

Karl: right-wing pundits say Chuck
Schumer is playing you for a fool

Rubio: that's mean – I'm very
conservative in most ways

Karl: true but Glenn Beck
still hates your guts

Rubio: I respect them very much –
but the GOP will keep losing
elections without more Hispanic votes

Karl: is Chuck Schumer using
you to get a liberal bill passed?

Rubio: excuse me – we have de facto
amnesty now and if we don't do
something the GOP will never win again

Karl: Isn't Obama ruining everything?

Rubio: I don't pay attention to that Kenyan usurper

Karl: what about LeBron James?

Rubio: nice plug for an ABC broadcast Jon

Karl: heh heh

[ break ]

Karl: should we go into Syria?

Will: Napoleon was right when he
said we should invade Vienna instead
of Syria since it's a much nicer place

Karl: that makes sense

Will: the point is we should
go in all the way or not at all

Goldberg: I think we should go in
but I agree we should not just dip
a toe into this war

Karl: got it

Goldberg: this is a war between
Hezbollah and Al-qaeda –
who do you support in that mess?

Karl: is it too late to act in Syria?

Bash: Assad is using sarin gas
that's evil!

Karl: what is the policy?

Bash: Obama likes using force –
he did it in Afghanistan Libya
Syria and Chicago

Raddatz: what is the strategy?
if you want to make a difference
create a no-fly zone

Karl: this is a bad situation

Bash: thank you so much for
pointing that out buddy

Karl: was that snark

Bash: chemical weapons are bad

Will: we have taken sides in
this war against Assad!

Goldberg: I was in favor of force
before but not now – it's a total mess

Bash: that's exactly why now
we have to attack!

Karl: what about the election in Iran?

Goldberg: the Supreme Leader
picks all the candidates

Karl: Obama?

Goldberg: lol

Karl: what about Edward Snowden?

Bash: he's got a lot of secret
information that China would
just love to get their hands on

Karl: whew - good thing he's
in Hong Kong

Bash: that's part of China!

Karl: oh shit

[ break ]

Karl: panel did Bill Clinton bully
Obama into sending guns to Syria?

Brazile: no it was just the right time
to get a little bit involved in another
middle east war

Gingrich: Obama is unprofessional
and impulsive and stupid

Karl: got it

Gingrich: we should get involved
but it will also be a disaster

Gutierrez: the best fighters are
with al-qaeda

Karl: excellent

Gutierrez: we sent 150,000 troops
to Iraq and it didn't work

Will: this is a war and the
winner will be the side that
is more willing to kill

Brazile: there must be political solution
that gets Assad into exile

Will: wrong – it's about killing

Gingrich: Assad is brutal and ruthless
and basically scum – I really admire him

Karl: what about immigration reform?

Gingrich: we need a really really big
fence on the Mexican border

Karl: you are so wise

Gutierrez: forget the bickering –
it's Father's Day! The immigration
system separates parents and children

Will: we don't need a big fence –
we need a deep moat filled with alligators

Gutierrez: also e-verify

Will: Republicans will support a bill that
requires Obama to resign and appoint
Ted Cruz President

Karl: that sounds like a perfect
bipartisan solution

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