Sunday, June 09, 2013

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – June 9, 2013

Glen Greenwald
Sen. Mark Udall (D-CO)
Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA)
Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI)
Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN)
Paul Krugman
Greta Van Susteren 
George Will  
Matthew Dowd

Stephanopoulos: OMG the government
is tracking every phone call and
all of our porn searches!

Audience: uh oh

Greenwald: the NSA has denied this
for years but in fact they have details
about their massive database

Stephanopoulos: General Clapper says
your reporting is reckless and dangerous

Greenwald: hey this shit is real

Stephanopoulos: but aren't leaks dangerous?

Greenwald: the only thing we endangered
is the reputation of the dudes who
exercise power in the dark

Stephanopoulos: Google and Facebook
deny they directly disclose the vast
amount information they gather
about all of their users

Greenwald: well the NSA claims they
directly collect this information and
I'm willing to bet they are disclosing
something George

Stephanopoulos: have you been
contacted by the FBI about the leak?

Greenwald: under the First Amendment
I can report leaks – they will not intimidate me!

Stephanopoulos: who is your leaker?

Greenwald: I'll tell you during the break

Stephanopoulos: neat

Greenwald: the government always
attacks whistleblowers as traitors –
the are heroes to help us have an
open debate on surveillance!

Stephanopoulos: what more revelations
do you have up your sleeve?

Greenwald: ha ha - stay tuned Stephy!

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: Senator you knew
all about this years ago

Udall: yes I did but I never liked it
but also I don't support leaks

Stephanopoulos: Obama says these are
limited programs with a lot of oversight

Udall: the government is gathering
information every phone call you make
- that's too much information!

Stephanopoulos: so who cares who I call?

Udall: metadata is pretty powerful
information you know

Stephanopoulos: phone sex lines are so 1990s

Udall: hey look let's give the people the
information and let them decide what
surveillance they want

Stephanopoulos: but the Senate has approved it

Udall: but they're idiots

Stephanopoulos: has the Administration
been straight with the Congress?

Udall: perhaps but we need to know more
about just much information they are vacuuming up

Stephanopoulos: some in Congress
say this program stopped terrorist attacks

Udall: well let's talk about that –
but I'm still worried about personal privacy

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: Dianne should we
violate everyone's privacy or just
resign ourselves to mass death?

Feinstein: here's the good news – the NSA
only collects everyone's phone records
and if they want to listen in your phone
calls they need extra permission

Stephanopoulos: well I'm relieved

Feinstein: also we stopped a guy who
was going to blow up the New York City subways

Stephanopoulos: nice

Feinstein: you remember 9/11 – that was
some scary fanatic shit George!

Stephanopoulos: I do recall that

Feinstein: the FISA court re-authorizes
these programs every 90 days

Stephanopoulos: oh so no problem then

Rogers: the Patriot Act forbids reading
e-mails without a really really good reason

Stephanopoulos: I'm on board

Rogers: after 9/11 we learned that it's
very expensive to hold on to phone records
so the government has to do it

Stephanopoulos: that's compelling logic

Rogers: this information cannot be
data mined – it just sits in a box all
day gathering dust

Stephanopoulos: did General Clapper
lie to Ron Wyden?

Feinstein: he's very honest but
he's not very bright to be honest

Stephanopoulos: he's too stupid
to understand the question?

Feinstein: right – he's a little dim

Stephanopoulos: President McCain
is open to holding hearings on this

Feinstein: I had a hearing on Thursday
which was open to everybody

Stephanopoulos: I wasn't invited

Feinstein: by open to everybody I meant
closed to the public and also senate staffers

Stephanopoulos: righty-o

Feinstein: I can't prove how awesome
this program is because it's all classified

Rogers: if we tell all the bad guys we
track phone calls they will stop using phones!

Stephanopoulos: it's too late now Mike

Rogers: I get that now but we missed
9/11 and the Boston bombing

Stephanopoulos: sounds your surveillance
program is going great

Stephanopoulos: would you prosecute the leaker?

Feinstein: darn right I would!

Rogers: yes we have to prosecute the leaker
because they only released a little bit of
information to make us look bad –
Glen Greenwald has no clue how these
programs actually work!

Stephanopoulos: why doesn't he?

Rogers: because it's a big secret!

Stephanopoulos: got it

Rogers: but if the people knew
more than just what Greenwald
released they would really support it!

Stephanopoulos: so why not release all the details?

Rogers: because it's just too awesome!

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: George solve surveillance for us

Will: there are needles in haystacks
hence we must connect the dots

Stephanopoulos: I see

Will: on the other hand Obama is a big bad liberal

Krugman: this is some authortarian shit Stepphers

Ellison: I never heard of these dang programs!

Susteren: I want the terrorists to know
about this – then they would stop using
phones which would slow them down!

Stephanopoulos: interesting point

Susteren: also the FISA court is a
rubber stamp – also James Rosen!

Dowd: mining metadata is worse that
listening in on phone conversations!

Stephanopoulos: but they say they
are not data mining

Dowd: then why collect the information?!

Will: we all leave a digital trail of bytecrumbs

Krugman: anyone watching a tv show
the last 10 years knows this is going on
including terrorists

Ellison: metadata is powerful but also useless

Dowd: Obama is doing everything
Bush did – but on steroids!

Stephanopoulos: that's a lie actually

Dowd: yeah but it sounds good

Ellison: this is not about Obama

Will: Obama is just like King George III !!

Susteren: Obama flip-flopped!

Dowd: Strange bedfellows!

Susteren: we never knew about any of this!

Dowd: right – this is all new and terrible!

Stephanopoulos: oh c'mon we've know
about this surveillance program for six years

Ellison: well I didn't

Stephanopoulos: this week Obama named
Susan Rice to be the NSA and
Sam Power to be Ambassador to the UN

Will: Samantha Power is against atrocities
which is very right-minded and therefore objectionable

Dowd: Obama is being very mean and
bitter by putting in the person he wants
as his National Security Advisor

Krugman: that's stupid

Dowd: I happen to believe the way
to solve all problems in Washington is
for Democrats should be civil and nice
and do whatever Republicans want

Stephanopoulos: there was good economic news this week

Krugman: it shows we have low expectations

Will: Wall Street loved it because
it means the Fed spigot will continue

Stephanopoulos: the deficit!

Ellison: we needs jobs George

Krugman: the economy was doing
well until the sequester

Susteren: I worry about poor people
in the inner city

Krugman: Obamacare is good for poor people

Susteren: maybe so but it's not enough

Dowd: 95% of the people have
gained nothing in 20 years

Ellison: I like seeing fast food
workers going on strike

Krugman: I'm worried the Fed will
ease off the moneyfall

Dowd: why are white men shooting
people and why can't we spy on them?

Susteren: when the government has
a conference it's really stealing

Ellison: if interest rates double no one
will be able to go to college and we'll
have nation of uneducated idiots

Stephanopoulos: thanks –
and that's another episode


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