Meet The Press – January 27, 2013

Guests:

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)

Jim DeMint

Ben Jealous

Bob Woodard

Andrea Mitchell

Ted Koppel

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Gregory: welcome to Meet The Press brought

to you by Boeing creator of the 787 the

Plane that Usually Flies Without a Fire

Ryan: thanks David and thank you Boeing

and your almost Flameless Planes

Gregory: you are very worried about the debt

Ryan: the Senate hasn't passed a 

budget in four years!

Gregory: are old people takers and not makers?

Ryan: not my mother – she worked hard!

Gregory: some say you would impose savage

cuts on poor children and victims of disaster

Ryan: no we really want a safety net but

in America we have a culture that saps Americans'

initiative and desire to work hard

Gregory: which part of the safety net

makes people lazy?

Ryan: food stamps – six months on those

and people forget how to work hard unlike

when I was young and on welfare and

was determined to better myself

Gregory: that makes perfect sense

Ryan: America is a great nation of 

moochers and lazy welfare cheats

Gregory: isn't the problem in Washington

that people just don't have enough beers together

Ryan: no – the problem is that

Barack Obama doesn't think that

the best way to help poor people

is to cut taxes for rich people

Gregory: Obama is plotting to destroy

Republicans just like they did to him four years ago

Ryan: the debt is going to wreck America!

Gregory: please continue Congressman

Ryan: we have to have an honest debate

about how Medicare is ruining Amierca

Gregory: what did you learn from the election?

Ryan: that the American people are wonderful

but chose a person who will destroy this country

Gregory: what did you learn from losing?

Ryan: we must persuade more poor people

deregulating corporations will help poor people

Gregory: what about immigration?

Ryan: immigration is a good thing!

We don't hate hispanics! I swear! Marco! Rubio!

Gregory: can immigration reform get done in 2013?

Ryan: yes if Obama loves immigrants 

as much as we do

Gregory: could ever vote for gun control?

Ryan: maybe we could have a background

checks all the time instead of just some

of the time

Gregory: that's a big concession

Ryan: but let's not just bring out political ideas

when the real problem is people suck

Gregory: you blame the President for

our terrible culture

Ryan: Obama is planning a Political Conquest!

Gregory: oh my

Ryan: the question is will Obamza

go along with Republicans or keep acting

as if he's President

Gregory: what is the Republican plan?

Ryan: if Erskine Bowles were President

the GOP would be very happy

Gregory: Paul will you for President in 2016?

Ryan: it's too early now to say how

delusional I will be in four years

Gregory: fair enough

[ break ]

Gregory: Obama offered a liberal vision –

he's the Reagan of the Left -

so says Charles Krauthammer!

Woodward: awesome

Gregory: Paul Ryan says Obama is only

interested in political conquest

Woodward: Paul Ryan is the Future of America

Gregory: I love him

Woodward: if the two sides just sit down

together we can finally cut entitlements!

Mitchell: all Obama said in his inaugural

speech was human rights and equality

under the law for women and others were important

Gregory: but we must cut spending!

Koppel: of course we must

Gregory: Jim DeMint how can we

finally enact a conservative agenda?

DeMint: the debt and spending became the

most important moral issue of our time since 2009

Gregory: the country just made a choice

and voted for Obama

DeMint: that doesn't matter

Gregory: it doesn't?

DeMint: the American people want us to

cut taxes for the rich and raise them on the poor

Gregory: they do?

DeMint: yes look at how horrible Europe is

Jealous: hey unemployment is still a big problem

Gregory: how can we persuade Obama to

propose big spending cuts for the good 

of the country?

Koppel: you have a mental illness Fluffy

Woodward: can't we please just have a

little entitlement cutting? Pleeease?!?

Woodward: if we cut the debt unemployment

will come down!

Gregory: exactly

Woodward: businesses need to see the

debt cut for their psychology before

they can hire more people

Gregory: how do we persuade the

President raise the retirement age?

Mitchell: the dirty liberals who got him

elected don't like that

Gregory: I hate those filthy hippies

and their luxious retirement!

Mitchell: they are so smelly

Gregory: Bobby Jindal said the GOP

has to stop being the stupid party

DeMint: the debt is a moral argument!

Gregory: did you hear what I said?

DeMint: our children will inherit a terrible debt!

Gregory: I think Jindal was talking about

offensive comments about

legitimate rape or the lazy 47%

DeMint: liberals hate minorities!

Gregory: okay then

DeMint: Democrats failed the negroes in

Detroit and Philadelphia

Jealous: good lord will you ever learn?

Gregory: Jim is talking about rape really smart?

DeMint: we know from science that rape victims

should be forced to have their babies

Gregory: I love how crazy you are

DeMint: Obama is not the President!

Gregory: Ted Iran scares me

Koppel: we are entering the most

dangerous time in American history

Gregory: sweet jesus

Koppel: Israel may bomb Iran in the spring

and then Iran would lauch a cyber war which

would be worse than WWII

Woodward: it's even worse than that

Gregory: how could it be worse?!?

Woodward: North Korea may bomb the Oscars

Gregory: egads

Gregory: Hillary Clinton says the world is unstable

Mitchell: she is warning Obama that we 

cannot retreat from the world

Gregory: interesting

Mitchell: also Obama is re-fueling French planes

in Mali which is troubling since they will

not accept cheddar only brie

Gregory: amazing

Mitchell: Mali is the most dangerous place on

earth except for Afghanistan or Pakistan

or North Korea or Florida

DeMint: Obama sends signals of weakness

which could invite a terror attack

Gregory: like Bush did before 9/11?

DeMint: no that didn't happen because

Bush was a tough cowboy

Jealous: oh my god I am losing IQ points

just listening to this conversation

Koppel: since 1945 we are using fewer tanks

and have more cyber war

Gregory: you sir are brilliant

Gregory: Obama is raising a lot of eyebrows

by praising his Secretary of State on television

Obama: Hillary was an awesome Secretatary of State

Clinton: of course I served in the cabinet

– what the hell else was I going to do?

Gregory: joe biden must be soooo mad hee hee hee

Mitchell: if Hillary runs in 2016 she clears the field!

Woodward: nobody puts Biden in a corner

Gregory: and that's another

episode of Meet The Press

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