Sunday, August 19, 2012

Meet The Press - August 19, 2012

Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-Md.)
Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-Va.)
Mayor Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)
Ted Cruz (R-TX)
E.J. Dionne
Chuck Todd
Peggy Noonan
Rudy Giuliani
Gregory: OMG the campaigns are
actually talking about an issue like
Medicare - that’s terrible!

Obama: I will protect Medicare from Paul Ryan!

Ryan: I will protect my Mommy from Obama!

Gregory: so how about that Paul Ryan?

O’Malley: Paul Ryan wants to privatize Medicare!

McDonnell: Obama caused the recession in 2007!

Gregory: is Medicare doomed

McDonnell: Medicare will go bankrupt in
a few decades!

Gregory: Joe Biden said the GOP is going
to put y’all back in chains

O’Malley: so fucking what

Gregory: but it’s so divisive!

O’Malley: Romney uses racist dog whistles
all damn the time

Greg: Bob how do you answer the charge
that Joe Biden is a racist?

McDonnell: sadly I must agree

Gregory: Romney says Obama is running
a campaign of hate

O’Malley: Romney is a big whiner who
constantly fouls and then calls foul

Gregory: Romney says he paid a
whopping 13% in taxes

McDonnell: Obama had a whopping tax hike!

Gregory: that would be an awesome
point if it were true

O’Malley: Fluffy who knows if Mitt
ever paid taxes at all??

McDonnell: Obama is a nice guy but he’s
failed to fix the Republican recession of 2008

Gregory: Obama would take $700 billion from
Medicare and Romney would make is a
voucher program for people under 55

O’Malley: a fucking voucher - how delightful

McDonnell: Romney is just being honest -
America is the greatest country in the world
and can’t afford to take care of old people anymore

Gregory: I’m sold

McDonnell: we have to cut Medicare -
also Obama robbed Medicare

Gregory: Ryan proposed the same
efficiency cuts that Obama made

McDonnell: exactly - Obama has blood
on his hands!

Gregory: I’m confused

McDonnell: America is awesome!
We’re broke! USA! USA!

Gregory: rock on

McDonnell: Obama just talks and talks
and Ryan bravely promises to give more
money to current old people

Gregory: unemployment is still really high

O’Malley: true but we created
more jobs last year than in 8 years of
George Bush Presidency

Gregory: maybe but he gave good aircraft carrier

O’Malley: should we give another
massive tax cut to people who make
millions of dollars per year?

Gregory: it couldn’t hurt!

Gregory: Ted you are an hispanic
anti-establishment tea partier

Cruz: I love Paul Ryan!!

Gregory: go on please

Cruz: Romney is admittedly intensely
dislikable but Obama isn’t creating
enough jobs

Reed: Ryan is a loveable right-wing nut

Dionne: true believers on the left and
right believe voucherizing Medicare is
a winning issue for them

Gregory: oh it’s on now

Dionne: The GOP has to decide if Barack Obama
is a socialist who is giving away freebies to the poor
or a brtue who is viciously cutting Medicare

Noonan: Ryan is good-looking and serious
but putting old people on an ice floe may
not be a winning issue for the GOP

Todd: the GOP brilliantly shifted away
from lack of jobs to talk about how
Republicans want to cut Medicare

Cruz: the American people are fed up
with Medicare maybe someday going
to people younger than 55!

Gregory: you go Tom!

Cruz: Ted

Gregory: whatever you’re only a nominee

Cruz: the government has its boot on
the neck of the people!

Noonan: voters are dissatisfied and crave
hope and optimism also someone
who will admit we are broke and
must privatize the social safety net

Dionne: if we’re broke can we at least
raise taxes on billionaires?

Reed: Ryan isn’t serious - he voted for TARP,
tax cuts, wars and drug benefits and none of
it was paid for as long as Bush was President

Cruz: he’s been serious about talking about
cutting spending since Obama became President

Reed: what a damn joke

Dionne: Obama is serious about talking
about cutting too!

Cruz: yes but I hate him so it doesn’t count

Gregory: Saint Rudy tell me about Paul Ryan

Giuiliani: he’s not as dumb as Sarah Palin

Gregory: win

Giuiliani: we have learned since the
Bush recession that government is too big

Gregory: what about Medicare issue

Giuiliani: it’s a risk that talking about it could
ruin the GOP but it’s worth it to privatize
the social safety net

Gregory: should Mitt Romney talk
about his taxes?

Giuiliani: I’m sure it’s a non-issue but he
should he should not reveal them because
it could be very damaging

Gregory: how do you respond to the
charge that Joe Biden made a gaffe

Giuiliani: I’m afraid I must admit that
Joe Biden is a terrible person and a moron

Gregory: and yet he’s Vice President and
you barely avoided prison

Giuiliani: I only said that because I want to
shame the media into making fun of Joe Biden

Todd: be careful - don’t underestimate
Joe Biden - behind those gaffes is
a sharp cookie and a genial genius

Noonan: Joe Biden’s gaffe is the most
important thing ever - but he’s also
loveable senile daffy old man

Gregory: imagine if we had a President like
that Peggy ha ha

Reed: Fluffy you are fucking obsessed
with this - does the name Ted Nugent
mean anything to you

[ break ]

Gregory: who’s going to win the election Chucky?

Todd: if Obama wins Florida Romney can
win every toss-up state and still lose

Gregory: yikes

Dionne: the base of the GOP are old
people who watch Fox constantly but
Medicare gives Obama an opening

Gregory: but shouldn’t we cut Medicare?

Cruz: absolutely!

Gregory: go on Tom

Cruz: we must save Medicare by privatizing it

Gregory: I see

Cruz: we must completely reform
Medicare so it will be there
for younger people

Gregory: in a completely different form

Cruz: exactly

Noonan: Paul Ryan bravely went to
old people in Florida and told them he
was going to give them another trillion dollars

Greg: brilliant

Noonan: the American people know that
America can’t afford Medicare anymore

Reed: y’all are crazy!

Todd: Ted you demand cuts of Medicare
and then bash Obama for taking money
away from Medicare

Cruz: but he gave the money to undeserving
lazy people on Obamacare

Dionne: that’s all total bullshit -  Romney
would re-open the doughnut hole

Gregory: glazed or powdered

Dionne: the GOP never liked Medicare and
have always wanted to get rid of it -
let’s talk about that!

Gregory: sorry we can’t - we talked about the
important issues of Joe Biden’s gaffe and
what Giuliani thinks about it so we’re all out of time

Dionne: of course

Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
Virtually Speaking Sunday 6:00 p.m. pacific | 9:00 p.m. eastern

David Waldman (@KagroX) & Jay Ackroyd (@jayackroyd) discuss
the past week's political and policy developments. Also listen for
Bobblespeak's Most Ridiculous Moment

Listen live and later


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