Sunday, June 19, 2011

Meet The Press - June 19, 2011

Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)
Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (D-Los Angeles)
Richard Engel
Doris Goodwin
Paul Gigot
Gregory: wow Obama and Boehner
played golf together

Audience: so heartwarming

Gregory: Senator will Democrats finally cut Medicare?

Durbin: no

Gregory: that’s very disappointing

Durbin: everything will be on the table

Gregory: so will you please consider cutting
Medicare benefits?

Durbin: maybe

Gregory: Lindsey are you willing to
create new revenue?

Graham: we will never raise taxes
but we might flatten taxes

Gregory: like what

Graham: like cut the ethanol gravy train
to pay off the debt

Gregory: Unions are rioting in Greece
- this terrifies me!

Durbin: calm down Fluffy

Graham: eek

Durbin: we’re borrowing too much from China

Gregory: what about raising the retirement age?

Durbin: no

Gregory: fuck you Dick - Medicare is not sustainable!!

Durbin: well fuck you too Fluffers

Gregory: Lindsey how do respond to
my assertion that the American people want
massive spending cuts?

Graham: Oh I agree - the people
really want Medicare cuts

Gregory: no one but me is willing to cut
Social Security and Medicare!!
[ grins stupidly ]

Graham: you are a silly person Greggers

Gregory: Boehner said Obama is ridiculous hee hee

Graham: the War Powers Act is unconstitutional

Gregory: oh that’s sad

Graham: if we leave Libya Egypt will be overrun,
the price of oil will double and Muamar “Mad Dog” Qaddafi
will run for the GOP nomination

Durbin: The Butcher of Bengazi is a bad guy
but Obama should still seek Congressional authorization
before starting a war there

Gregory: will Congress cut off funding
for the non-war in Libya?

Durbin: that would hurt the troops

Gregory: we have no troops there

Durbin: that’s baloney

Gregory: OMG we have no plan in Libya!

Graham: I heard you were a moron

Gregory: but but but I have no idea
what’s going on

Graham: what planet are you on Fluffy?

Gregory: um Beltway-Earth

Gregory: is Mitt Romney another Jimmy Carter?

Graham: no because Carter was
actually elected President

Gregory: is Romney right that we should
not be in Afghanistan?

Graham: no - if we leave moderates will be
killed and Pakistan will be destabilized

Gregory: wow

Graham: 6,000 people are joining the Afghan
army every month

Gregory: Are we seeing isolationism
or war weariness?

Graham: we may be able to drawn
troops by 2016 - if we never leave

Durbin: I opposed invading Iraq and
supported invading Afghanistan but I didn’t
vote for endless war all around the world

Gregory: give war a chance

[ break ]

Gregory: Welcome back to America Richard Engel!

Engel: The last time I was in the U.S.
the three most popular things in America
were AOL, Mel Gibson and Tiger Woods

Gregory: Will Jon Bolton run for President?

Todd: Mitt Romney is the clear front-runner

Gregory: he is very handsome

Todd: the people may demand Rick Perry
save the GOP

Gregory: electing a Texas Governor always works

Gigot: Texas is creating most of America’s jobs
and preventing most the country’s gay abortions

Goodwin: The primaries are almost a year
away but if Pawlenty can’t stand up to Mitt Romney how can he stand up to Obama?

Pawlenty: Romney is just like Obama!

Goodwin: Romney is tanned, rested and ready

Engel: he got confused about Afghans and Afghanis

Villaraigosa: what planet are these people on?
Forget Afghanistan we need to rebuild this country!

Gregory: so you would take the money
for war and spend it on schools and bridges

Villaraigosa: Fuck the beltway bubble
- we got real problems!

Gregory: there is real war-weariness

Engel: well sure 10 years of pointless
wars will do that

Gregory: what’s happening in Libya?

Engel: nothing much - but if the US
pulls out NATO is dead

Gigot: look everyone knows these GOP
candidates are only opposing wars because
there’s a Democrat in the White House

Gregory: Bob Gates says we have no idea
what our role in the world should be

Goodwin: it is confusing

Engel: that trend will continue because we
will be involved in many small wars

Gregory: that’s good news

Todd: Obama needs to sit down with
Dick Lugar and Jim Webb and explain to them
where Libya is and why we are attacking it

Gigot: Obama needs to sell the Libya war by
saying they have balsa wood planes capable
of reaching Midwestern cities and dropping
pictures of Anthony Weiner in his underwear

Greg: that would certainly do it

Gregory: Doris do some sex scandals require
Democrats to resign while Republicans don’t?

Goodwin: Weiner had to resign because
it was a distraction because the media wouldn’t
let it go

Todd: he didn’t have any friends on Capitol Hill

Gregory: David Vitter doesn’t have to resign

Todd: he wouldn’t survive a Vitter-Twitter scandal

Gregory: let’s talk substance - did Obama
cause the recession in 2007?

Villaraigosa: that’s crap - Bush inherited
a surplus and blew it

Greogory: I declare Obama cannot blame Bush

Gigot: that’s right - the bad economy is
all Obama’s fault

Todd: people want government do more
and also slash the debt

Gregory: what specifically do people
want government do?

Todd: Something!

Gregory: I talk to a lot of businessmen
and they want the government to create
jobs for them

Engel: People around the world
don’t care about what happens in the US but they
do fear our massive military

Gregory: should we would really slash
spending during a recession?

Goodwin: amazingly we suddenly
had to cut the debt immediately when a
Democrat got elected

Villaraigosa: Gridlock! Partisanship! Shrill debate!

Engel: the USA borrowed a trillion dollars from China to kill a bearded guy in Waziristan

Audience: awesome

Gregory: the big headline today is
Lindsey Graham says Mitt Romney is moving
to Obama’s left and is soft on the war on terror

Gigot: the GOP is pro-war and always will be

Gregory: Rick Perry is trending

Todd: If Romney raises $50 million
Rick Perry will have National Day of Prayer and
Asking For Money

Gregory: Obama is on twitter - his tweets are going to be
signed “B.O.” while the dog’s will
be signed “Bo”

Audience: excellent

Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press

1 comment:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Gigot: Obama needs to sell the Libya war by saying they have balsa wood planes capable of reaching Midwestern cities and dropping pictures of Anthony Weiner in his underwear

Greg: that would certainly do it