Meet The Press - June 12, 2011

Guests:
Rick Santorum
Debbie Wasserman Schultz (DNC)
Reince Priebus (RNC)
Rick Santorum
Mayor Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)
Mike Murphy
Richard Wolffe
Kim Strassel
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Gregory: wow breaking news this morning
Rep. Weiner is entering wanker-rehab

Wasserman Schultz: he’s a putz and needs to go

Gregory: what’s the problem

Wasserman Schultz: he’s just creepy

Gregory: a leave of absence is not enough?

Wasserman Schultz: he needs to resign and if
he doesn’t we will pinch him in the House coatroom

Priebus: Anthony Weiner has turned Washington DC into a circus!

Gregory: really?

Priebus: we have high unemployment and
Anthony Weiner won’t leave!

Wasserman Schultz: Vitter went to fucking
prostitutes and you didn’t call for his resignation

Priebus: why are we talking about Vitter’s
prostitutes when we have high debt?!?

Gregory: good point Debs -- tell me what is Anthony Weiner’s
state of mind?

Wasserman Schultz: he’s a remorseful jackass

Gregory: interesting

Wasserman Schultz: If jobs are so important
why is the GOP so obsessed with Weiner’s
dick and banning abortion?

Priebus: Weiner’s online masturbatory fantasies
have stopped all jobs legislation, halted business
at the Supreme Court and rerouted
millions of seamen

Gregory: Let’s talk jobs

Wasserman Schultz: Obama turned the
economy around

Gregory: no he didn’t - I asked around

Wasserman Schultz: we’ve had 15 months
of job growth

Gregory: that’s not possible since I don’t like him

Priebus: Obama caused a Great Depression
- what a disaster Obama is!

Gregory: so true Reince

Priebus: Americans care about the debt!

Gregory: can Republicans do anything
to create jobs?

Priebus: we need to cut the debt

Gregory: how about cutting my taxes Debbie?

Wasserman Schultz: we could cut the
capital gains tax

Gregory: now you’re talking

Wasserman Schultz: also cut spending

Priebus: Obama lost jobs!

Gregory: Obama is in a dead heat with Mitt Romney

Wasserman Schultz: yeah but he’s a flip-flopping weasel

Priebus: I’m from Wisconsin and the
GOP is wildly popular there

Gregory: that's awesome

Priebus: are you better off than before
the Bush Depression started?

Wasserman Schultz: I’m from Florida and voters
are rejecting the extreme GOP there

Gregory: how is Gabby Giffords doing?

Wasserman Schultz: I ask her a question and she responds in full coherent sentences

Priebus: wow I even can’t do that with Sarah Palin

[ break ]

Gregory: what do you think of Obama?

Santorum: he hates freedom because he
doesn’t think Americans can choose health insurance for themselves

Gregory: do you think the current health
insurance system works well?

Santorum: we need a bottom up system

Gregory: have you ever googled yourself?

Santorum: Obama will put government
price controls on Medicare!

Gregory: oh my

Santorum: Obama is pushing grandma off a cliff -
we want to empower grandpa to fly off that cliff

Gregory: People in your own state hate you

Santorum: true but I stood up for the
crazy unpopular things I believe in

Gregory: like what?

Santorum: I was one of the first to call for
repealing Social Security

Gregory: anything else

Santorum: Seniors needs to control costs
by themselves

Gregory: would you raise the retirement age?

Santorum: we should have a price inflation index!

Gregory: let’s cut the bullshit Rick - who are you and what are you?

Santorum: I have had the courage to call for ending federal entitlements, I supported war with Iran and Syria, I hate gay people, and I love pina coladas, walks on the beach, and men who aren't afraid to cry - and fetuses

Gregory: what do you think of Mormons

Santorum: they’re very fine nice wackos

Gregory: what about Romney and Huntsman?

Santorum: they are nowhere near as crazy
as me and yet I won in a blue state

Gregory: until you lost

Santorum: only because of the recession
Obama caused in 2006

Gregory: in 2002 you said the last thing
we need to worry about deficits

Santorum: yes but we had Bill Clinton’s
surplus to spend

Gregory: I see

Santorum: also that was right after the 9/11 attacks

Gregory: That interview was a year and
three months later

Santorum: look when you’re in a
recession and fighting wars you can’t
care about the debt - but things are different now

Gregory: America - what went wrong?

Santorum: I love the smell of
sulphur in the morning

Gregory: I think I follow you

Santorum: the NLRB is shipping jobs overseas

Gregory: interesting

Santorum: I have a secret plan to bring
jobs to America

Gregory: businesses have so much cash -
why do they need more tax cuts?

Santorum: they don’t believe Obama
will let them be profitable

Gregory: you said in public schools kids get only
weird socialization

Santorum: Public schools are nothing but psychotic Stalisnist camps -- kids are forced to spend all day with people the same age and socio-economic class - what the
fuck is up with that??

Gregory: would home schooling fix that?

Santorum: kids need get out of that stuffy classroom with boring factory wrote learning

Gregory: and do what?

Santorum: kids need to interact with adults in the private sector -- why not have kids intern in our finest corporations?

Gregory: would you allow abortion in
cases of rape or incest?

Santorum: hell no - put those doctors
in prison for life

Gregory: women too?

Santorum: no those little ladies don’t
know what they are doing

Gregory: what about female doctors?

Santorum: they have those?

Gregory: so I’ve heard

Santorum: well Fluffy I will put a stop to
that nonsensical social engineering

[ break ]

Gregory: Is Santorum for real ?

Murphy: no he’s all forth

Gregory: What about Weiner?

Reed: he has to resign so Democrats can talk about the the Democrats' failure to create jobs

Strassel: Charlie Rangel also refused to resign - such impertinence!

Wolffe: even if he survives how effective can he really be?

Murphy: he’s a dead man wanking

Gregory: According himself Newt is an outsider

Murphy: He will have a comeback and be
able to run his own campaign his own way -
only then will he completely fail

Gregory: I am fascinated by Giuliani and Bachmann

Strassel: Conservatives have felt slighted
and want a champion

Wolffe: Team Obama will target the GOP
candidates as even bigger failures than the
White House

Gregory: Obama is vulnerable!

Reed: He saved the automobile industry -
Obama has got to get attention for stuff like that

Gregory: maybe if he tweets it with a
picture of his underpants

Murphy: the economy is bad but every year
there are fewer white people which is bad
for the GOP

Wolffe: Team Obama is counting on
hispanics, blacks, young people, techies,
gays, geeks and nerds

Gregory: Top trending stories are
Weiner, Palin and some terrorists!

Wolffe: Democrats will pay a price for
Weiner because he didn’t go to a
prostitute which is ok

Strassel: the media are pointlessly obsessed
with Sarah Palin

Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet the Press
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