Gen. (Ret.) Wesley Clark
Lt. Col. (Ret.) Bob Maginnis
Tammy Schultz - Marine Corps War College
Clarke Cooper - Log Cabin Republicans
Sgt. Stacy Vasquez
Elaine Donnelly, Center for Military Readiness
Amanpour: Should gays serve in the military?
Colin Powell, 1993: hell no!
Colin Powell, 2010: why not - they’re adorable!
Marines: let’s wait til we’re down to just one and a half wars
Clark: hey if we can fight two wars we can handle a few open gays
Amanpour: heck even conservatives support repeal
Schultz: the troops don’t think it’s a problem at all
Amanpour: but our precious Marines and their seamen!
Schultz: they’re too focused on fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan to worry about a couple of lesbians
Amanpour: ok we’re surveyed everyone and we all love gay people and also Glee is America’s most popular show
Donnelly: Gays in the military are like putting stones in your sack - very gay stones
Cooper: hey lady I was in combat and I only care if people shoot straight
Amanpour: the tip of the spear has gay panic
Cooper: all we have to do is send out a memo telling Marines to stop discrimination
Maginnis: the soldiers will follow orders but we will lose recruits and most soldiers come from gay-hating areas like Alabama and Idaho
Maginnis: most soldiers are conservatives
Amanpour: are you sure?
Maginnis: yes for example they hate government but have cradle to grave government-provided health care
Amanpour: that sounds right
Clark: nobody asked on D-Day if Matt Damon was gay
Clark: open lesbians make great soldiers - they increase morale!
Donnelley: we can’t have premature adjudication
Cooper: there have always been gays in the military
Donnelley: the policy is too lenient on those wily wicked gays
Amanpour: Stacy you were promoted 7 times and then outed
Vasquez: yes I was highly decorated and commended for my dedication and professionalism
Amanpour: well thank god the U.S. Army is safe from your lesbian ways
Lyster-Todd: the British army finally allowed openly straight men and nothing changed much
British Admiral: turns our they’re like all the other blokes and chaps and now recruit we them
Donnelly: military readiness!
Maginnis: that’s easy for Britain but Americans are bigger which is a problem in the showers
Schultz: these opponents just don’t like gay people
Cooper: talk about combat readiness - we are low on personnel and ammunition!
Donnelly: the Log Cabin soldiers are at war with the U.S. military
Clark: hey if fans of the Cavaliers and the Heat and serve together anyone can
Amanpour: don’t pass don’t tell