Sunday, December 05, 2010

Meet The Press - December 5, 2010

December 5, 2010
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Sen. John F. Kerry (D-MA)
Tom Friedman
David Brooks
Katty Kay
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Gregory: should we cut taxes for the rich?

McConnell: of course we should

Gregory: Harry Reid says if cutting on the wealthy worked they would have fucking worked

McConnell: this would hit only small businesses

Gregory: they been in place since 2001!

McConnell: yes we would have had a bad economy without those cuts!

Gregory: that’s stupid

McConnell: I don’t care - a minority of the Senate has spoken!

Gregory: what about START treaty?

McConnell: never heard of it

Gregory: do you like the debt commission’s crazy recommendations?

McConnell: I love them - the debt is like the cast of the Jersey Shore

Gregory: how so

McConnell: both became hot when Obama became President and by January no one will care again

Gregory: are you made about WikiLeaks?

McConnell: he’s a high tech terrorist!

Gregory: Isn’t Obama incompetent for letting a Private get this information?

McConnell: I’m a GOP leader and even I think that’s a stupid question

Gregory: how terrible is Obama?

McConnell: the American people want us put Obama in headlock

Gregory: will you work with him?

McConnell: sure - we can approve the Korea trade treaty

Gregory: he was roundly criticized for leaving Korea without a deal

McConnell: that’s because the media is full of right-wing whores - thank god

Gregory: is he tougher than his opponents think?

McConnell: was he mean to you Fluffy?

Gregory: what about repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?

McConnell: I can’t support it because of abortion in military hospitals

Gregory: [ facepalm ]

Gregory: what’s up John?

Kerry: Republicans want to cut unemployment insurance so they can give $100,000 to very rich people

Gregory: but rich people are very uncertain about how rich they will be

Kerry: the GOP is morally bankrupt and reckless

Gregory: but they’re so handsome and responsible

Kerry: the Chinese are making solar panels and we lead the world in per capita dancing with stars

Gregory: so why is Obama going to cave to the Republicans?

Kerry: he’s not!

Gregory: that’s not what I heard!

Kerry: Mitch McConnell is a prick

Gregory: Obama does nothing to make Republicans squirm

Kerry: not true - every morning he’s black

Gregory: good point

Kerry: Fluffy Obama rescued Wall Street and got no credit

Gregory: how does that make the GOP unhappy?

Kerry: I’m trying to focus the American people - listen up - the GOP is holding unemployment hostage to give your money away to rich people!

Gregory: you make that sound bad

Kerry: the Democrats comprised over and over and over - and this is our Sputnik moment except we’re East Germany

Gregory: Bob Gates say there’s been an overreaction to WikiLeaks

Kerry: Social Security numbers were exposed!

Gregory: oh my

Kerry: the truth of our diplomatic gossip can be very embarrassing

Gregory: How do you ask a man to be the last man or woman to die in Afghanistan?

Kerry: Afghanistan is not Vietnam - for example Afghanistan has treacherous mountains and it never rains

Gregory: how else?

Kerry: no good movies have been about Afghanistan

Gregory: that’s true

Kerry: we’re going to win in 2014!

Gregory: why does America have a sad Brooksie?

Brooks: the good news is we’re not Chinese - the bad news is we’re not the Chinese

Murphy: the Republicans will give on the START treaty which they support in exchange for tax cuts which they also support

Gregory: we’re not adding jobs but we’re panicking about the debt

Kay: we’ve reached Peak America

Gregory: I see

Kay: but things are worse in Europe because they peaked years ago

Friedman: we’re in flat world which means we need more immigrants, roads, bridges, and education

Gregory: you’re crushing my world

Friedman: people want a human-animal hybrid politics

Gregory: the liberal base is very angry

Murphy: he’s got to dump progressives and stop governing as such a crazy lefty

Gregory: what else?

Murphy: cut social security and medicare

Kay: Americans have a messianic sense of entitlement

Brooks: Paul Ryan is a very serious and inspiring loon

Gregory: I see

Brooks: McConnell made news today when he said he was willing to sit down - that’s a huge giveaway!

Friedman: I like things which are Big and Hard

Kay: the American people don’t feel the deficit is a problem just because interest rates are low which is sad

Gregory: Obama’s approval is not that bad compared to Reagan or Clinton

Brooks: yes but the economy is worse and liberals are wringing their hands over Obama’s weakness

Murphy: Democrats are silly to worry about taxes on the rich

Gregory: what did we learn from the WikiLeaks?

Friedman: the U.S. is giant money-laundering operation

Gregory: fascinating

Friedman: also we are addicted to oil and credit

Brooks: American attacked us in Korea in 1952!

Kay: the leaks show America is not as powerful as it was after World War II

Murphy: Julian Assange committed an act of treason!

Gregory: how so?

Murphy: he never puts shrimp on the barbie!

Gregory: Joe Scarborough says the GOP should man up and say mean things about Sarah Palin

Murphy: She’s a total disaster - but she can win the GOP Iowa caucus

Gregory: what up about Afghanistan?

Friedman: those wily middle easterners are only in it for the money

Gregory: ooh I hate that Tom - and that’s Meet The Press

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2 comments:

SFAW said...

"not true - every morning he's black."

Thank you

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