Stahl: He’s the new Speaker, won one of the biggest elections in decades and is third in line for the Presidency - meet John Boehner!
Stahl: what do you think of Obama?
Boehner: He’s brilliant and good looking
Stahl: he called you a hostage-taker
Boehner: that’s uncalled for and if he doesn’t stop
I will shoot this dog
Stahl: you’re so wonderful
Boehner: I know
Stahl: you disrespected Obama
Boehner: true but he said I am a color that doesn’t exist in nature
Stahl: he has a point
Boehner: [ sobs ]
Boehner [ on tape ]: Hell no we can’t!!
Stahl: you said ‘Hell yes we can cry our eyes out!’
Boehner: sniff sniff
Stahl: you mopped the vomit off the floor in a bar
at 10 years old
Boehner: I had 11 brothers and sisters and one bathroom which will help in running the House
Stahl: you were Kennedy Democrats
Boehner: then I saw the Reagan light and cried my way to the top
Stahl: why did you sob so much on election night
Boehner: I’ve been chasing the American dream all my life
Stahl: what’s that?
Boehner: providing for the safety and security
of the lobbyists who fund me
[ stops, starts sobbing ]
Stahl: have you learned lessons from
Gingrich’s mistakes?
Boehner: I’m going to try avoid being a total asshole
Stahl: you worked with Ted Kennedy
Boehner: he was awesome but in my defense
he charmed everybody
Stahl: Obama says you have to compromise
Boehner: Hell no I don’t!
Stahl: I don’t get it
Boehner: I speak for the American people
Stahl: you compromised on the tax cuts
Boehner: shhh… the tea partiers are loonies
Stahl: will you treat the tea partiers like children?
Boehner: that’s putting it charitably
Stahl: but the tax deal will add to the deficit
Boehner: only spending is bad
Stahl: that’s idiotic
Boehner: I know
Stahl: what will you cut?
Boehner: cut the budgets of committees
in Congress
Stahl: that doesn’t sound like much money
Boehner: true but it’s useless
Stahl: you’re a much better golfer than Obama
Boehner: I know - I’m so awesome
Stahl: why not play golf with Obama
Boehner: playing with little white balls reveals character
Stahl: Mrs. Boehner are you proud of your husband
Boehner: [ starts crying ]
Wife: he’s going through an emotional time
Stahl: I can see that
Boehner: [ sobbing ]
Wife: hell he was a janitor when I met him and now look at him
Stahl: indeed
Boehner: [ blows nose ]
Stahl: well good luck to you both
Wife: thanks Leslie
Boehner: [ baaaaahhhh ]
****************************
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4 comments:
I watched that.
Totally pathetic.
John Boner, the Oompa Loompa, is going to complete his life's mission of selling out ordinary Americans (for example, those who live in Ohio) to the plutocrats.
And Obama is going to provide him with all the cover and help he needs.
Hallelujah!
~
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