Meet the Press - November 11, 2007 Guest: Barack Obama

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Meet the Press with Tim Russert
November 11, 2007
Guest: Sen. Barack Obama
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Tim Russert: people like you but even Dems say you have no experience - why do people hate you?

Obama: i'm trying to tell the people about what i've done as a professor and activist

Timmeh: but Hillary was first lady of Arkansas - how can you compete with that?

Obama: I’ve been in office longer than she has

Russert: but Rudy Giuliani says you have no experience plowing snow or cracking down on brown people or setting up fake businesses to exploit 9/11

Obama: and i've never led a city to the worst terror attack ever - big friggin deal

Timmy: but Famous Black Man Rangel says you're too young

Obama: Mr. Hillary? uh-huh

Timmy: so?

Obama: i will push back against the establishment and she won't

Tim: you admire hillary

Obama: people hate her and i can be bring people together

Tim: what do you want to put in the past?

Obama: we need to drop the college dorm debates from 1967 and move on to a new century

Russert: you called her a liar

Obama: she's lying about the social security crisis

Russert: like what?

Obama: we have to make changes now

Russert: but you flip flopped on SS

Obama: no it just means i have opinions on this isssue

Rusert: shocking!

Obama: i will listen to other people

Russert: but how can you put things on the table?? What happened to “you're either with me or against me”???

Obama: that's Bush you idiot

Russert: no that's America dood

Timmy: you want to RAISE TAXES!!

Obama: only for the rich

Timmy: oh noes!

Obama: shut up timmy

Timmy: what happened to the nice polite black man we all loved?

Obama: this isn't student council president pumpkinhaid

Timmy: which Dems do you think are acting like Bush

Obama: hillary is moving to the right to look tough and if we don't present a different vision we're going to triagulate ourselves right into another war with Iran

Timmy: let me take your quotes out of context

Obama: i heard you were full of shit and it's really true

Timmy: anti war liberals say you didn't do enough to end the war

Obama: hey i was in the senate for 10 minutes and i read Condi the riot act

Timster: what else?

Obama: i prefer not to cut off funding

Timster: why do you hate america

Obama: i always rooted for us to win

Timster: and yet you have failed to show up wearing a big foam #1 finger

Obama: I’m waving my finger in my mind

Timster: how fast pull out from Iraq

Obama: a brigade a month for 16 months

Tim: residual force against al qaeda?

Obama: we need a few troops to protect our Embassy

Timmy: and our fleeing helicopters

Obama: exactly

Tim: a graceful exit

Obama: a timely egress yes

Timmy: Fred Hiatt says calling a bunch of guys terrorists is perfectly routine - why who would think that could lead to a war??

Obama: don't go there Timmy i love israel

Timmy: Fred Hiatt loves Israel more

Obama: no i do

Timmy: well there's where's your blue and white #1 foam hat??

Obama: look i would meet with the leaders of Iran and offer them carrots or else hit them with a stick

Timmy: wow scary don't hit me black man

Obama: that's the Chicago way tubby

Russert: will you pledge to attack iran pleeze

Obama: i will definitely go to war with this strange and scary middle eastern nation but first i will try to avoid it

Russert: Neville Obama do you want us to die in a balsa wood nuclear attack???

Obama: if we lost Buffalo i could live with it

Russert: please pledge to use nuclear weapons on Tehran

Obama: oh of course look at Nagasaki - it's been too damm long since we nuked someone

Russert: right on homey!!

Obama: i was being sarcastic lard-ass

Russert: you will spend the first year meeting lunatic leaders

Obama: yes i will meet with Mitch McConnell and John Boehner

Russert: but won't you be scared???

Obama: no today i'm not fearing any man

Russert: but Bush keeps losing propaganda wars to crazy leaders

Obama: but he's an idiot and i'm smooth as silk

Russert: you raised money from unions that's pure evil

Obama: dood you can't expect someone to run for president and not raise money

Russert: but you take money from people who work on Wall Street

Obama: that dood is a hot dog vendor!

Rusert: but he still works on Wall Street!

Russert: where are your records from the state senate!?!?

Obama: dood i was a one-man operation for god's sake

Russert: yeah but state senators are really powerful look at that movie ‘Maid in Manhattan’

Obama: good point

Russert: your BFF is a criminal

Obama: but he's only been indicted

Russert: sounds shady to me

Obama: i fucked up dood

Russert: john lewis says anti gay marriage is bigotry

Obama: i love teh gay rights

Russert: what about marriage

Obama: civil unions dood

Russert: your gospel singer singer says being gay is a curse

Obama: yeah but i have to reach out to the bigots and haters if we're going to have progress in this country

Russert: your wife says you have to win or iowa or it's over

Obama: heh yeah well i suppose that's true can you imagine if hillary wins those early states she'll roll

Russert: can she win

Obama: it will be hard everyone hates her i want to bring america together

Russert: and who else but a black man from hawaii with with an african name and who went to muslim school

Obama: exactly

Russert: good luck with that