**************************************
60 Minutes
November 4, 2007
Host: Bob Simon
Topic: Curveball
**************************************
Bob Simon: this is “Curveball” doing the Electric Slide in 1993
[ cut to shot of Curveball doing
the white man dance]
Expert: he was the best guy we had to tell us invading iraq was a great idea
Simon: Curveball lied to teh germans in nuremberg about weapons for killing mass numbers of people and after all they are they experts
Expert: they loved Curveball he said saddam had balsa wood planes that accidentally killed iraqi workers
Simon: but there was a wall
Expert: that proved how wily the iraqis were - they built fake walls to make us think their Curveball defectors were fake
Simon: a fake ball?
expert: right
Expert: we asked him why would saddam let someone like Curveball defect?
Curveball: uhhhhhhhh......
Lady CIA expert: I said he doods he might be fake
Simon: what did they say
Expert: they said do you want the information or don’t you
Simon: did they call you a glorified secretary
Expert: i said how do you know that’s even him in the Hazmat suit?
Other Expert: he's like the sheep in the box in ‘The Little Prince’ he's the perfect source because you can't see him
Skeptic: of course
Tenet: it's teh Slam Dunk!!
Drumheller: the white house lied
Wilkerson: doods it was a dynamic presentation what could i say???
Wilkerson: i'm convinced Powell was convinced
Powell: Curveball knew it all you have to believe me!!! Look here are the drawings no of stuff no American has ever seen!!!
Weapons Inspectors: uhhh there's a wall doods
Simon: there was nothing there at all was there
UN: nope
Simon: well it's war then
Simon: he got bad grades in college
College Dean: he was on Double Secret Probation dood!
Simon: what did you tell him
Dean: drunk stupid and lying to convince the US to invade your county is no way to go through life son
Simon: sounds like a loser
Drumheller: dood just wanted a german green card
Simon: and now his life is ruined
Drumheller: oh no he's doing fine and he got his green card
Simon: well don't i feel foolish
Drumheller: don't we all
Simon: except for Curveball
Drumheller: yeah except for him
Simon: USA! US- aw forget it
Monday, November 05, 2007
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