*********************************************
Meet the Press with Tim Russert
November 11, 2007
Guest: Sen. Barack Obama
*********************************************
Tim Russert: people like you but even Dems say you have no experience - why do people hate you?
Obama: i'm trying to tell the people about what i've done as a professor and activist
Timmeh: but Hillary was first lady of Arkansas - how can you compete with that?
Obama: I’ve been in office longer than she has
Russert: but Rudy Giuliani says you have no experience plowing snow or cracking down on brown people or setting up fake businesses to exploit 9/11
Obama: and i've never led a city to the worst terror attack ever - big friggin deal
Timmy: but Famous Black Man Rangel says you're too young
Obama: Mr. Hillary? uh-huh
Timmy: so?
Obama: i will push back against the establishment and she won't
Tim: you admire hillary
Obama: people hate her and i can be bring people together
Tim: what do you want to put in the past?
Obama: we need to drop the college dorm debates from 1967 and move on to a new century
Russert: you called her a liar
Obama: she's lying about the social security crisis
Russert: like what?
Obama: we have to make changes now
Russert: but you flip flopped on SS
Obama: no it just means i have opinions on this isssue
Rusert: shocking!
Obama: i will listen to other people
Russert: but how can you put things on the table?? What happened to “you're either with me or against me”???
Obama: that's Bush you idiot
Russert: no that's America dood
Timmy: you want to RAISE TAXES!!
Obama: only for the rich
Timmy: oh noes!
Obama: shut up timmy
Timmy: what happened to the nice polite black man we all loved?
Obama: this isn't student council president pumpkinhaid
Timmy: which Dems do you think are acting like Bush
Obama: hillary is moving to the right to look tough and if we don't present a different vision we're going to triagulate ourselves right into another war with Iran
Timmy: let me take your quotes out of context
Obama: i heard you were full of shit and it's really true
Timmy: anti war liberals say you didn't do enough to end the war
Obama: hey i was in the senate for 10 minutes and i read Condi the riot act
Timster: what else?
Obama: i prefer not to cut off funding
Timster: why do you hate america
Obama: i always rooted for us to win
Timster: and yet you have failed to show up wearing a big foam #1 finger
Obama: I’m waving my finger in my mind
Timster: how fast pull out from Iraq
Obama: a brigade a month for 16 months
Tim: residual force against al qaeda?
Obama: we need a few troops to protect our Embassy
Timmy: and our fleeing helicopters
Obama: exactly
Tim: a graceful exit
Obama: a timely egress yes
Timmy: Fred Hiatt says calling a bunch of guys terrorists is perfectly routine - why who would think that could lead to a war??
Obama: don't go there Timmy i love israel
Timmy: Fred Hiatt loves Israel more
Obama: no i do
Timmy: well there's where's your blue and white #1 foam hat??
Obama: look i would meet with the leaders of Iran and offer them carrots or else hit them with a stick
Timmy: wow scary don't hit me black man
Obama: that's the Chicago way tubby
Russert: will you pledge to attack iran pleeze
Obama: i will definitely go to war with this strange and scary middle eastern nation but first i will try to avoid it
Russert: Neville Obama do you want us to die in a balsa wood nuclear attack???
Obama: if we lost Buffalo i could live with it
Russert: please pledge to use nuclear weapons on Tehran
Obama: oh of course look at Nagasaki - it's been too damm long since we nuked someone
Russert: right on homey!!
Obama: i was being sarcastic lard-ass
Russert: you will spend the first year meeting lunatic leaders
Obama: yes i will meet with Mitch McConnell and John Boehner
Russert: but won't you be scared???
Obama: no today i'm not fearing any man
Russert: but Bush keeps losing propaganda wars to crazy leaders
Obama: but he's an idiot and i'm smooth as silk
Russert: you raised money from unions that's pure evil
Obama: dood you can't expect someone to run for president and not raise money
Russert: but you take money from people who work on Wall Street
Obama: that dood is a hot dog vendor!
Rusert: but he still works on Wall Street!
Russert: where are your records from the state senate!?!?
Obama: dood i was a one-man operation for god's sake
Russert: yeah but state senators are really powerful look at that movie ‘Maid in Manhattan’
Obama: good point
Russert: your BFF is a criminal
Obama: but he's only been indicted
Russert: sounds shady to me
Obama: i fucked up dood
Russert: john lewis says anti gay marriage is bigotry
Obama: i love teh gay rights
Russert: what about marriage
Obama: civil unions dood
Russert: your gospel singer singer says being gay is a curse
Obama: yeah but i have to reach out to the bigots and haters if we're going to have progress in this country
Russert: your wife says you have to win or iowa or it's over
Obama: heh yeah well i suppose that's true can you imagine if hillary wins those early states she'll roll
Russert: can she win
Obama: it will be hard everyone hates her i want to bring america together
Russert: and who else but a black man from hawaii with with an african name and who went to muslim school
Obama: exactly
Russert: good luck with that
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