Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Meet The Press – October 16, 2016


Guests:

Vice President Joe Biden

Sen. Mike Pence

Kristen Welker

Joy-Ann Reid

Chris Cillizza

High Hewitt





Todd: welcome Mr Vice President

Biden: great to be here chad

Todd: no one likes Hillary Clinton



Biden: some of it is sexism



Todd: white people say to me all the time 'what about me?'



Biden: we fixed the damn economy Chuck



Todd: Obama never won white people

back after saying they cling to their guns



Biden: well they do



Todd: likewise Hillary Clinton will

never shake that deplorable line



Biden: my dad had borrow money for college



Todd: what's your advice for Hillary?



Biden: people are mad –

this election is a big fucking deal



Todd: do you know why so many

white people love Trump?



Biden: they were crushed by the recession



Todd: I want a no-fly zone over Aleppo



Biden: and I want to be President 
of the United States



Todd: seriously though –

can we at least bomb Syria



Biden: first we have to take

Mosul and wipe out ISIS



Todd: but but



Biden: we can't do both Chuckie



Todd: that makes me sad



Biden: Republicans won't support

using force in Syria



Todd: this is Rwanda all over again



Biden: you're jonesing for war Charles



Todd: what if! what if! what if!



Biden: we're retaking Mosul



Todd: then can we invade Syria please



Biden: no then we go on to Raqqa



Todd: then we can please go into Aleppo?!?



Biden: how about a sense of humility



Todd: can we throw a high

hard baseball at Putin's head



Biden: oh we're gonna do it Chuck



Todd: that's so cool



Biden: it will be awesome



Todd: how worried are you though?
 

Biden: it will be a proportional cyber attack



Todd: this sounds great –

will the public know?



Biden: nope



Todd: awww



[ break ]



Todd: Michelle Obama says
Trump's sex crimes bother her



Pence: I have tremendous respect for her



Todd: we all do



Pence: Trump made it clear that

it was all just talk about assault



Todd: okay



Pence: we need to move beyond

Trump's sex crimes



Todd: you know who doesn't want

to move on from this issue?



Pence: no tell me



Todd: Donald Trump



Trump: all those women are liars!



Trump: she would not be my

first choice to grope!



Todd: so nine different women 
have accused Trump of attacking them



Pence: they're all unsubstantiated!



Todd: that's what substantiated means



Pence: no the accusers are all

women and you know how they are



Todd: good point



Pence: what about the Clinton foundation?



Todd: we covered that



Pence: what about sweetheart deals in Haiti



Todd: what indeed



Pence: this election is rigged by a media

talking about non-consensual grabbing



Todd: so nine women talking about

sex crimes should be ignored?



Pence: yes because Trump's made it

clear that all these women are liars



Todd: I see



Pence: Qatar donated to the Clinton

Foundation and got access to Bill Clinton



Todd: yeah um so what



Pence: The media doesn't report

on the Clinton scandals! Don't believe me

read The New York Times!



Todd: is Donald Trump a good man?



Pence: Obama didn't bomb Syria

that has to change!



Todd: Russia is burglarizing John Podesta



Pence: there should be tough consequences!



Todd: yet again Donald 
Trump disagrees with you



Pence: I hope Obama bombs Russia

but he won't because he didn't bomb

Syria like he should have



Todd: again that's not what Trump says



Pence: Trump has forcefully

called for a task force!



Todd: I see



Pence: what about the Haitian scandal?



Todd: someone got rich in Haiti?



Pence: while we know all these

so-called women are liars!



Todd: Bill Kristol says you should

have a modicum of self-respect and quit



Pence: my little family will stand

should to shoulder with Trump



Todd: will you accept the

results of the election?



Pence: the media is so

obviously biased against Trump



Todd: no doubt



Pence: the Clinton Foundation!



Todd: you keep saying 'rigged election'



Pence: I love the peaceful transfer of power



Todd: don't we all



Pence: we will accept the

will of the American people



Todd: big news indeed



Pence: despite the media!



Todd: okay okay



Pence: it's rigged!



Todd: thanks for coming Mike



[ break ]



Todd: Trump said the election is rigged



Hewitt: Pence is defending like

the Donald like Ser Davos did for

Stannis Baratheon



Todd: that ended with Stannis

being destroyed by a woman



Welker: Pence said he will accept the

election results but that's not what

Donald Trump is saying



Reid: Pence and Jeff Sessions also

keep talking about a rigged election



Cillizza: I literally cannot imagine

Trump admitting he lost fair and square



Hewitt: Pence will make the

concession phone call



Todd: that's not how it works



Hewitt: Condi Rice is a true American hero



Welker: Clinton can't just win 
- she has to win big



Cillizza: Trump is not 
running a normal campaign



Todd: it's distruptive



Cilizza: its a random airing of the grievances



Todd: he does seem a bit off lately



Cillizza: the man attacked

a defenseless teleprompter



Todd: Democrats are using Trump

against Republicans all over the country



McCain: I have daughters! I have friends!



Hewitt: Pat Toomey is a wonderful guy!
A big tipper!



Reid: there is ticket splitting but at

some point the tsunami sweeps

everyone away



Todd: the country is so divided!



Todd: we visited a rich suburb called 'StarbucksLand'



Voter: go Hillary!



Todd: then we visited McDonaldsVille



Voter: yay Trump!



Todd: white people like Trump 
more than Hillary Clinton



Cillizza: yes there are people

who love him but he's got a ceiling too



Todd: the Russia mail theft reveal 
that Hillary is calculating person



Cillizza: you definitely don't want 
that quality in a President



Welker: the Clinton campaign is
blaming the Russians and 
comparing it to Watergate



Todd: gosh



Welker: the problem is that 
there has been no bombshell



Todd: that is a problem



Reid: she's a politician big deal



Hewitt: if she gave a deal for Haiti aid

to someone who knew Bill Clinton

that is a crime!



Cillizza: it's also worth noting at

this point in the conversation that the

GOP nominee is an unhinged lunatic



Reid: why is Russia trying to make 
Trump the U.S. President?



Cillizza: today Pence went after Putin

but Trump loves him some Vladimir



Welker: if Trump hadn't bragged 
about sex crimes we would be 
talking about Wikileaks!



Trump: we should take a drug

test before the debate!!



Todd: this is the 'Hillary Clinton 
stamina issue'



Welker: he's firing a warning shot



Reid: he's completely crazy



Todd: what will happen at the debate??



Cillizza: likely he will utter a series

of disjointed ramblings



Hewitt: he will talk about Haiti

for ninety minutes



Cillizza: if were smart and rational he would



Todd: right



Cillizza: but he will probably have 
a mental breakdown on live tv



Todd: and that's another 
episode of Meet the Press




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