Sunday, June 01, 2014

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – June 1, 2014

Martha Raddatz
Neal Karlinsky
Susan Rice – National Security Advisor
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX)
Bill Kristol

Stephanopoulos: wow America's
last POW is heading home!

Raddatz: George it's a stunning
prisoner swap

Stephanopoulos: indeed

Raddatz: it was a secret deal with the Taliban

Stephanopoulos: well it's not secret now

Raddatz: the special forces were
there but mostly to fulfill the agreement

Stephanopoulos: I should have
brought Navy SEALs to my
last contract negotiation

Raddatz: Disney plays tough

Stephanopoulos: amazingly Republicans
are criticizing the President on
getting this POW home

Raddatz: that's a shock

Stephanopoulos: I'm blown away

Raddatz: Rep. Rogers says
this deal will hurt Americans

Stephanopoulos: what else?

Raddatz: Republicans says Obama
should have waited a month before
trading the Gitmo detainees for this POW

Stephanopoulos: seems logical

Raddatz: but the President says
he couldn't wait because the
soldier's health was in danger

Stephanopoulos: well okay

Karlinsky: his father didn't shave
his beard until his son was freed
and even learned some pashto

Stephanopoulos: that should come in handy

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: welcome Susan –
how is Sgt Bergdahl doing?

Rice: this is a joyous day George!

Stephanopoulos: it's frabjous
where's Bowe?

Rice: he's in the hospital

Stephanopoulos: what were
his five years in captivity like?

Rice: it's way too soon to
get into those details

Stephanopoulos: I heard a rumor
that he no longer speaks English

Rice: the important thing
is that he's home

Stephanopoulos: how did you get him back?

Rice: this was three years of hard work

Stephanopoulos: impressive

Rice: also Qatar was helpful

Stephanopoulos: Republicans say it
will threaten American lives because
now more Americans will be kidnapped

Stephanopoulos: that's ridiculous –
he was a soldier captured in battle

Stephanopoulos: I see

Rice: He was an American POW –
we never leave a man behind!

Stephanopoulos: what about the law
requiring notification to Congress
before transferring Gitmo detainees

Rice: well gee sorry but we couldn't
wait 30 days – this American hero
was in danger

Stephanopoulos: so you say

Rice: if we had given up an
opportunity to an American POW
back Republicans would hold
hearings asking why we
didn't get him back

Stephanopoulos: probably

Rice: damn right

Stephanopoulos: will the released
detainees attack America again?

Rice: no – they are not allowed to

Stephanopoulos: but can we
trust the Taliban?

Rice: oh yes it's an ironclad contract

Stephanopoulos: could this lead
to peace in Afghanistan?

Rice: stranger things have happened

Stephanopoulos: not many

Rice: true

Stephanopoulos: did Sgt Bergdahl
desert his post and will he be punished?

Rice: cripes George he served his
nation with honor and distinction
and is back in America with his family

Stephanopoulos: Ted Cruz says you
appease evil and are weak

Rice: fuck that dipshit

Stephanopoulos: could you elaborate

Rice: we are powerful and are leaders

Stephanopoulos: go on

Rice: Bush failed in Iraq and Iran
and Russia and North Korea
and we are succeeding

Stephanopoulos: okay but that's
only four examples

Rice: nice talking to you George
[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: welcome Ted –
what's your reaction to the
Bergdahl deal?

Cruz: it's terrible – we can't deal with terrorists

Stephanopoulos: so if you were
President you would have left
Bergdahl a POW?

Cruz: no I would use force in
Afghanistan which Obama is
reluctant to do except for
expanding the war and
adding 30,000 troops

Stephanopoulos: okay then

Cruz: we invaded Afghanistan
to attack the Taliban

Stephanopoulos: that's not true

Cruz: but you can't do this –
it sends a bad message

Stephanopoulos: so what is your policy?

Cruz: to be very concerned
without committing to anything

Stephanopoulos: could you expand on that?

Cruz: I just got back from Estonia
and they are worried that Obama
is weak and appeasing and also weak

Stephanopoulos: what else?

Cruz: people secretly whisper
to me that Obama is weak

Stephanopoulos: so would you
have invaded Ukraine?

Cruz: No but Obama should
speak out for freedom

Stephanopoulos: oh speak out
what else?

Cruz: we should not give in to Russia

Stephanopoulos: you have
such great ideas

Cruz: we should surround
Russia with missiles

Stephanopoulos: good idea

Cruz: also we could free
Ukraine with natural gas

Stephanopoulos: Hillary Clinton
says you are politicizing Benghazi

Cruz: it's so sad that she is
politicizing Benghazi

Stephanopoulos: so very very sad

Cruz: Obama never talks about
Benghazi – there are so many questions!

Stephanopoulos: how awful is Benghazi?

Cruz: I have dozens of questions!

Stephanopoulos: like what?

Cruz: Obama was asleep
during the attack! It's a scandal!

Stephanopoulos: it is?

Cruz: yes – he should
be awake all the time!

Stephanopoulos: please
bash Obama for me

Cruz: the Obama Presidency has
wrecked the economy and led
to terror and war around the world!

Stephanopoulos: sorry if you misheard
me and I said Obama not Bush

Cruz: oh never mind then

Stephanopoulos: how can Republicans
win the Presidency?

Cruz: some say Republicans
should never stand for anything

Stephanopoulos: they do?

Cruz: yes then there are those
like me who say elections matter
and we should stand on principle

Stephanopoulos: you're running
for President aren't you?

Cruz: I am going to make the case
that Obama is bad for poor people
and Hispanics and African-Americans

Stephanopoulos: I love how
unhinged you are

Cruz: A single mother in Nebraska
came up to me and said because
of Obamacare my husband left me
and I have to work five jobs and
then she hugged me because
she knows I will save her

Stephanopoulos: thanks for
coming you crazy loon

Cruz: rock on George

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: I was struck that
Republicans were willing to
immediately attack Obama
for liberating a POW

Kristol: indeed George I was
impressed by the great courage
Republicans showed in finally
at along last be willing to attack
Obama on foreign policy and call him weak

Stephanopoulos: finally the GOP
is willing to attack the President!

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