Sunday, May 18, 2014

Meet The Press – May 18, 2014

Meet The Press – May 18, 2014
Andrea Mitchell
Kevin Tibbles
Chuck Todd
Jim Miklaszewski
Pete Williams
Reince Priebus
Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO)
Rehema Ellis
Maria Shriver
Carolyn Ryan (NYT)
Carly Fiorina
Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL)
Wes Moore
Glen Greenwald

Gregory: is Hillary Clinton running
for President?

Mitchell: Karl Rove tried to scare
Hillary Clinton from running by
saying she has brain damage

Gregory: I love how dirty politics can be

Mitchell: Team Clinton pushed back hard

Gregory: I love it!

Mitchell: but they still have
Benghazi and Boko Haram

Gregory: boko the clown?

Mitchell: Rove is the king of whispers

Gregory: he's the Lord Varys of Washington

Schmidt: this is a legitimate issue

Mitchell: Clinton is getting curveballs!

Gregory: did Karl Rove go to far?

Priebus: hey in 2008 people said
John McCain was too crazy to be President

Gregory: well that's certainly been disproved

Priebus: Hillary Clinton is responsible 
for Boko Haram

Gregory: this isn't about who won Eurovision

Priebus: it about how Hillary is 
a lesbian who killed her lover Vince Foster

Gregory: was it okay for Rove
to suggest she has brain damage?

Priebus: she's very old!

Gregory: but does she have brain trauma?

Priebus: I'm not a doctor

Gregory: what exactly are you?

Priebus: I'm a bitch I'm a lover

Gregory: the right wants to blame
Clinton for everything in the world
are you trying to stop her from running?

Priebus: girls were kidnapped in Nigeria!

Gregory: are you suggesting Clinton
tried to cover up Benghazi?

Priebus: of course – she doesn't 
care that people died

Gregory: do you think she'll run?

Priebus: she won't run because
we are talking about her now

Gregory: do you fear her?

Priebus: no – she was responsible
for Hillarycare and the finale of 'Lost'

Gregory: thanks for coming Reince

[ break ]

Gregory: welcome Claire –
should Karl Rove apologize to Clinton?

McCaskill: he should apologize
to people he took $100 million
from and promptly lost every race

Gregory: both sides do it – Harry Reid
called the Koch brothers un-American

McCaskill: well they are trying 
to buy American elections

Gregory: shouldn't Hillary Clinton
be more transparent about her brain injury?

McCaskill: don't be an idiot Fluffy

Gregory: you endorsed Obama in
2008 but now you endorse
Hillary Clinton – why the flip flop?

McCaskill: Obama can't run again David

Gregory: don't dodge the question with facts

McCaskill: 2016 is Hillary's time!

Gregory: do you think she will
be scared off from running?

McCaskill: yes she will be afraid
of smears because she's not used to that

Ellis: Jill Abramson was fired
from the New York Times because
she pissed too many people off and
maybe because she wanted to be paid equally

Gregory: wow

Ellis: are assertive women treated differently?

Gregory: ladies what about sexism?

Shriver: this is a teachable moment - 
sexism is like global warming – 
you see obvious evidence of it 
everywhere which means conservatives 
deny its existence

Gregory: what else

Shriver: women are judged differently
men are 'strong' and women are 'bitchy'

Gregory: is America ready 
for assertive women?

Ryan: I worry about Abramson
being caricatured as a victim

Gregory: the New York Times says
she was rude and they're never wrong

Fiorina: of course she was treated differently
the press release trashed her

Ryan: well they know her best

Fiorina: they totally disrespected her

Gregory: how can we make this
conversation about me and my daughter

Fiorina: be quiet Fluffy

Shriver: we need to close the pay gap

Gregory: what advice should I
give my daughter to succeed in journalism

Shriver: at cocktail parties eat the
shrimp and avoid the weenies

Gregory: are things changing?

Fiorina: things are getting better
but women are the most
subjugated people on the planet

Gregory: I think I follow

Fiorina: also it's all liberals fault for
saying there's a war on women –
that is not respectful to women
who have the same concerns as men

Gregory: got it

Fiorina: but the liberal New York Times
is waging a war on women

Gregory: right

[ break ]

Gregory: quick Todd say something masculine

Todd: OMG next week is Super Tuesday
there will be elections all across the nation!

Reporter: Mitch McConnell is challenged
by a tea party but it seems like 
across the country tea party is flailing

Todd: what happened to that
scrappy bunch of psychos

Reporter: the Democrats and Republicans have many formidable women

Todd: wait until 2020 or as it write it 20XX

Reporter: it's dynasty time –
Carter, Nunn, Grimes, Pryor!

Todd: I love it!

[ break ]

Gregory: this week we sent poor
Kevin Tibbles all the way to Kentucky
to see regular human beings and
apparently he drank the whole time

Tibbles: greetings regular person 
- you've been making bourbon 
here since 1780

Whiskey maker: yes and we're 
almost finished with the first batch

Tibbles: let me try some of your whiskey

Whiskey maker: government red tape is annoying

Tibbles: just give me another shot dammit

Whiskey maker: dang government bickering
could be solved over a bourbon

Tibbles: I'll drink to that

Tibbles: this horse farmer doesn't like Obamacare

Horse farmer: we're losing our freedoms!

Tibbles: people here don't like
Obamacare but they love the state
version of Obamacare
which is Obamacare

Regular human: we need to 
do right by the country

Tibbles: you said it pardner!

[ break ]

Gregory: doctor what will 
decide the 2014 elections?

Carson: the 2014 elections will
determine the future of America forever

Gregory: like every election

Carson: this is election will decide
if we are to be a great nation

Gregory: Obama has weakened America!

Todd: the public has given up on Washington

Lincoln: Washington is a wretched 
hive of scum and villainy

Gregory: most of the best 
pundits can be found there

Lincoln: people are looking for results!

Gregory: what about Hillary Clinton!

Ryan: Obama is weak and 
weakened by Hillary Clinton

Todd: Clinton is sandbagging Obama!

Gregory: Ben Carson you said Obamacare
is just like slavery and is not about
health care it's about controlling the people

Carson: I never said it is slavery

Gregory: yes you did

Carson: yes it is slavery because
it's your health in the hands of bureaucrats

Gregory: 12 years obamacare

Carson: it's totally marxist

Gregory: of course it is

Carson: I also believe in health care for all

Gregory: Blanche you voted for
this slavery-maxist pact

Lincoln: I do not regret my vote
for Obamacare – in Arkansas 200,000
people have health care in the private market

Gregory: is Hillary Clinton beatable?

Carson: of course she is

Gregory: come one – bash Hillary for me

Carson: she's seems intelligent

Gregory: will you run for President?

Carson: people are pressuring me to run

Gregory: I can see why

Carson: it's not brain surgery

Gregory: that's a yes isn't it?

Carson: of course – why else would I be here?

Gregory: why are any of us here?

Carson: I don't know Fluffy 
[ break ]

Miklaszewski: 40 veterans have
died waiting for treatment

Shinseki: I think I get it now

Miklaszewski: Shinseki faced
withering questions by the Senate

Miklaszewski: did you fail veterans?

Shinseki: I hope not

Gregory: what the hell is wrong at the VA?

Kinzinger: the VA has had a backlog
for years and I have actually defended
Shinseki since 2010 but this
is worse than a backlog

Gregory: people have lied and covered up

Kinzinger: Shinseki is a great American
but the VA needs some new leadership

Miklaszewski: Shinseki was a great 4 star
general but we need a General Patton

Gregory: interesting point

Miklaszewski: but it's not about leadership
the VA needs a lot more money

Moore: this is heartbreaking – young men
and women volunteered to fight for
the nation and now we make them 
wait for care they didn't make 
us wait to fight our many wars

Gregory: should we get rid of the VA?

Kinzinger: not necessarily but why
not just have people visit their
local doctor and bill the VA?

Moore: we want this problem solved
not in years or months but in weeks

Gregory: oh yes I'm sure that will happen

Moore: one can hope

Gregory: good discussion guys
[ break ]

Gregory: now Pete Williams distinguished
journalist will read questions to
Glen Greenwald submitted from
people on Facebook and Twitter
because why the hell not

Williams: Hi Glen Greenwald –
are you ready for tough questions
from the social media?

Greenwald: I am Brian

Williams: Pete

Obama: Obamabot!

Williams: one person wants to know
how much are activists and humanitarians
and outspoken types targeted 
by the government?

Greenwald: the government 
reads the sex chats of radicals

Williams: that sounds terribly exciting

Greenwald: radicals do it disruptively

Williams: another online question says
Ed Snowden ran away like a coward
unlike Daniel Ellsberg

Greenwald: but even Ellserg himself said
Snowden was right to flee the country
because if Snowden were arrested
he would be denied to right to bail

Williams: because he fled the country

Greenwald: read my book Brian!

Williams: another persons asks if Snowden
is a traitor and another says he left
us a sitting duck to our enemies

Greenwald: heroes are always called
traitors therefore being called a calling
a traitor is a badge of honor and
proves we are doing our jobs

Williams: the government say because of his disclosures on how they track terrorists the terrorists changed their methods

Greenwald: the people who track terrorists
always say that – I hope people 
make them prove terrorists 
changed their methods

Williams: a fan writes to ask how can we fight the abuse?

Greenwald: there has been an inspiring
bipartisan coalition to fight government
surveillance since Obama was reelected!

[ break ]

Gregory: people live-tweeting the
show are laughing at Reince Priebus

Todd: their best chance to win in 2016
is to stop Hillary Clinton from running

Gregory: the only winning move is not to play

Todd: if Hillary Clinton does run white
women will turn out in droves to vote for her

Gregory: that we would be a sight to see

Todd: it's going to be an epic GOP beatdown

Gregory: some of my best 
friends are white women

Todd: they're everywhere these days

Gregory: oh by the way 
remember how we weren't 
on last week so the network 
could show British soccer?

Todd: of course

Gregory: we won't be on again next
week either for Formula One car racing
because apparently NBC thinks I'm less
popular than the mind-numbing wasteful
hobbies of decayed foreign empires

Todd: [ sigh ]

Gregory: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press

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