Sunday, October 13, 2013

Meet The Press – October 13, 2013

Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH)
Leon Panetta
Christine Lagarde – IMF
Andrew Ross Sorkin
Judy Woodruff
Harold Ford
Kathleen Parker
Chuck Todd

Gregory: OMG America might default on Thursday!

Audience: oooh

Gregory: what the hell is going on

Durbin: we have finally agreed to relegate
to House Republicans to the kiddie table
and have an adult conversation

Gregory: what can't Congress do its job?

Portman: it's unbelievable – this is the first time
since 1776 that the President refused to
change laws in exchange for paying for
things Congress already bought

Gregory: whose fault is it?

Durbin: the Republicans refused
to go to budget conference

Portman: ummm.... both sides?

Gregory: you don't sound very convinced

Portman: all we want are concessions
in exchange for not crashing the economy
is that too much to ask?

Gregory: can you get a deal?

Durbin: if so Democrats have to get something too

Portman: that seems wrong

Gregory: what about Obamacare?

Portman: forget that – we need to resolve
the debt America has built up over 200 years

Gregory: Republicans want to cut Social 
Security and Democrats want to raise taxes

Durbin: Simpson-Bowles got it right!

Gregory: I agree

Durbin: let's all agree to cut Social Security 
and close some of the worst tax loopholes

Gregory: Dr. Ben Carson say
Obamacare is slavery

Portman: trust him – he's a doctor

Gregory: is he right?

Portman: the website is down!

Durbin: because millions of Americans
are desperate for health insurance

Gregory: should Sibelius resign?

Portman: don't be silly Fluffy

Gregory: please continue

Portman: the economy is slow
is because we have a big debt

Gregory: thanks for coming guys

[ break ]

Gregory: isn't everything always both sides fault?

Panetta: no Fluffy

Gregory: that makes me sad

Panetta: the Republicans shut down
the government as part of a strategy

Gregory: maybe

Panetta: a small minority couldn't
get their way and hurt the American people

Gregory: Obama won't negotiate over
the debt ceiling – so isn't this all his fault?

Panetta: no – these crazy people
are weakening America

Gregory: didn't you exaggerate the
effects of the sequester on defense?

Panetta: no – if we needed to fight
four wars right now we couldn't do it

Gregory: but we caught a terrorist last week

Panetta: look I love SEALs but if we
had to wage war on Iran Syria
Russia and North Korea we'd lose

Gregory: thank for coming Leon

[ break ]

Gregory: America may default –
how scary is this?

Lagarde: it's freaking the world out!

Gregory: really?

Lagarde: the world economy was
finally recovering and now we find
out some nuts in America want to wreck it

Gregory: what would happen if the US defaults?

Lagarde: do you remember 2008

Gregory: vaguely

Lagarde: default would create shock waves
zat would make ze last recession look
like a St. Tropez street festival

Gregory: another recession?

Lagarde: correct Floofi

Gregory: some say default is no big deal

Lagarde: listen Davide – creative 
accounting is not ze solution

Gregory: shouldn't the U.S. slash
Medicare and Social Security

Lagarde: yes you must deal with
zeez problems but in a sensible way

Gregory: what is your general opinion of the U.S.?

Lagarde: you auto industry is doing well
but I am concerned that the quality
of your meth is has dropped

Gregory: we had a loss there

Lagarde: I see

Gregory: Janet Yellen is like yourself a woman
are you a role model?

Lagarde: we're just trying to do our jobs
but girls can do it!

Gregory: how do you break down barriers?

Lagarde: work hard, gain supporters
and have a sense of humor

Gregory: mercy boocoo

Lagarde: merci 

[ break ] 

Gregory: Andrew how is my stock portfolio doing?

Sorkin: David watch the bond markets
we could be in for a ride!

Gregory: it costs billions of dollars
to keep the government shut down

Sorkin: the conservative shut down
increases the deficit and debt – good job guys

[ break ]

Gregory: 60% say they want to fire every member of Congress

Todd: we have peace and some prosperity
so clearly people are angry how 
idiotic our politicians are

Gregory: why can't we agree to cut entitlements?

Woodruff: if people lose faith in
government that hurts Democrats

Parker: Boehner and Obama are tragic
figures because they are both driven by extremists

Gregory: I don't think people understand
what the hell is going on in Washington

Ford: some people want the government
to exist and some don't – surely there
is some compromise to be made there

Gregory: like what?

Ford: how about the government
exists six months of the year

Gregory: I like it

Ford: both sides are equally to blame –
conservatives and both liberals
need to compromise

Todd: this is insane – a six week deal
to fund government? Really?!?

Woodruff: Obama is ready to negotiate
but thinks a six week deal is stupid

Todd: I know we all love cutting entitlements
but let me tell you – the tea party won't accept it

Ford: that makes me so sad

Todd: On Wednesday Boehner is going
to punt and try to take those six weeks
to talk sense into the tea party

Gregory: Obamacare has a slow website!

Parker: at least Sibelius should have good answer

Gregory: a fisherman from “Deadliest Catch”
testified in Congress against the shut down

Woodruff: most of the country doesn't
care about the shutdown

Gregory: true

Woodruff: although people are not
getting medical treatment and
there is a big salmonella outbreak

Gregory: other than that - no big deal

Ford: I hope this doesn't discourage
young people from running for office
or being involved in politics because 
it's noble work

Gregory: you quit politics to work on Wall Street

Ford: who asked you Fluffy

Gregory: please bash Cory Booker for me

Todd: Booker is a loser because he's
not beating his tea party weirdo 
opponent by enough

Gregory: what else?

Todd: hatred of Ted Cruz shows how
divided the whole Republican party is

Gregory: fascinating - what else you got?

Todd: we did a comprehensive study of the 
American voter and found out where the center is

Gregory: what did you find?

Todd: the new American majority are
Social Security using, isolationist,
non-church going tolerant beer drinkers

Gregory: and that's another episode
of Meet The Press

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