Guests:
President Barack Obama
Rep. Donna Edwards
Rep. Justin Amash
Paul Gigot
Matthew Dowd
Stephanopoulos: OMG Obama
achieved victory
through peace and of
course is now facing
a mountain of criticism
Obama: we are trying to
make sure
chemical weapons are not
used again
Stephanopoulos: can we do
that?
Obama: when this began two
weeks ago
Assad massacred children
and denied
everything and was
protected by Russia
Stephanopoulos: a dire
situation with
no good solution
Obama: now in two weeks
we've got
Russia pushing Syria to
get rid of its
chemical weapons which
they now
admit having – that's
pretty amazing
Stephanopoulos: I suppose
Obama: Syria is tragic but
we can't get
involved in someone else's
civil war
Stephanopoulos: but you
said Assad had to go
Obama: we have said you
can't use
weapons which gas little
children –
but now we've got Assad in
the
bargaining stage which is
progress
Stephanopoulos: Putin says
the rebels used
the chemical weapons
Obama: no one believes
that
Stephanopoulos: Putin does
Obama: some rebels are
al-qaeda and
they would use chemical
weapons if they could
Stephanopoulos: wow
Obama: I talked to Putin a year
ago about all this
Stephanopoulos: can you
trust him?
Obama: he's a son of a
bitch but we both
don't want Syria to fall
apart or for
the crazies to get
chemical weapons
Stephanopoulos: what else
Obama: we both want to
stop the slaughter in
Syria so I welcome Putin being involved
Stephanopoulos: really
Obama: I welcome Putin
taking responsibility
for making their client
give up their weapons
Stephanopoulos: what if
Putin is just playing for time
Obama: we couldn't fight
in Afghanistan
without Putin's help - did
you know that?
Stephanopoulos: yeah but
he's still a bastard
Obama: this fight is not
U.S. vs Russia –
it's getting chemical
weapons out of
hands a psycho dictator
and also crazy rebels
Stephanopoulos: what if
Assad remains
in power and free to kill
civilians?
Obama: yes because we can
we got
him to give up the
chemical weapons
Stephanopoulos: for real
Obama: but he won't be a
legitimate leader
so he will be embarrassed
so come to international
summits so that's a win
Stephanopoulos: what about
Iran –
have you reached out to
the new President?
Obama: we friended each
other and
send texts all the time –
“Yo Whats Up BO”
“I Got ASSad LOL
Stephanopoulos: do you
think Iran thinks
you are weak and won't use
the military?
Obama: how many people do
I have to kill George?
Stephanopoulos: at least 5
Obama: Iran now knows I
will used
force but am willing to
use diplomacy
Stephanopoulos: what do
you think
of your armchair critics?
Obama: People in D.C.
grade on style
and not substance – if
something is
smoothly done but a total
failure
Beltway pundits love it
Stephanopoulos: how do you
know that?
Obama: they loved the Iraq
war
Stephanopoulos: oh right
Obama: I'm not concerned
about style points –
although let's face it –
I have awesome style
Stephanopoulos: but your
critics say
you are all over the place
Obama: I have said all
along – I want to deal
with chemical weapons and
I did it
Stephanopoulos: so what do
you say to your critics
Obama: they can kiss my
assad
Stephanopoulos: we're five
years out from Lehman
Brothers which was
the largest bankruptcy since
Nebuchednezzar lost his fortune on hanging
gardens
and forgot to water them
Obama: in some ways 2008
was worse
than the Great Depression
and since then we've
created 7 million jobs and
banks are giving out loans
Stephanopoulos: that's
something I guess
Obama: but the benefits
went to rich people
Stephanopoulos: 95% of the
gains!
Obama: my goal was first
to stabilize
the economy and fix income
inequality
Stephanopoulos: I see
Obama: that's why I raised
taxes on
the rich and passed
Obamacare
Stephanopoulos: what else
Obama: we require banks to
have more
money set aside so they
won't be too big too fail
Stephanopoulos: but
inequality is getting worse
– can you do nothing?
Obama: whole occupations
are being
eliminated by robots
Stephanopoulos: that's
scary
Obama: I predict the next
Vice President will
be a handsome android
Stephanopoulos:
fascinating – who will
you name as Fed Chair?
Obama: a cat riding a
Roomba
Stephanopoulos: we've done
worse
Obama: but a robot can't
build a road
HAL 9000: I'm afraid I
can't agree Barack
Obama: slashing Medicaid
is not the answer
Stephanopoulos: Boehner
says you must negotiate
over the debt ceiling –
are you refusing to negotiate?
Obama: no no no – I've
presented a good
budget but I'm willing to
talk anytime
Stephanopoulos: ok
Obama: but I refuse to
negotiate over the ceiling
Stephanopoulos: but other
President's have
Obama: no that has never
happened where
a President debate major
legislation or budget
talks over a threat to
refuse to pay the nation's bills
Stephanopoulos: so how
does this end –
are you just gambling that
they will cave?
Obama: look we can't set a
precedent
where the House tries to
get its way by
threatening not pay the
country's bills
Stephanopoulos: but but
Obama: we're not doing it
dammit
Stephanopoulos: all right
Obama: look the deficit
has been cut!
Stephanopoulos: true
Obama: I'm even willing to
cut
corporate taxes and
entitlements!
Stephanopoulos: okay you
win that one
but 2013 is still a
failure for you because
you can't immigration
reform or gun control
Obama: immigration reform
passed the
Senate and would pass the
House if
John Boehner had the guts
to put it to a vote
Stephanopoulos: maybe
Obama: background checks
are also
really popular but there
is a crazy faction
in Washington that opposes
anything
with my name on it
Stephanopoulos: who will
you endorse –
Biden or Clinton?
Obama: we're very lucky to
have great potential candidates
Stephanopoulos: but what
about 2016?
Obama: hey I just got
reelected – I have three
more years of dealing with
this insane town
to look forward to
Stephanopoulos: fair
enough
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Obama says
we are better
off than we were two weeks
ago – is he right?
Dowd: of course he is –
and I'm a Republican!
Stephanopoulos: you
surprise me
Dowd: he fumbled to the
goal line
Roberts: in the Cuban
Missile crisis JFK
stumbled to success
Stephanopoulos: McCain and
Graham
wanted us to go to war
Amash: they're idiots –
I approve of Obama's
actions here – and I'm a Republican
Edwards: Democrats have to
admit the threat of force worked
Gigot: this is a disaster
because you
want trust those wily
arabs
Stephanopoulos: you are
wise
Roberts: this is weak
because the UN is useless!
Edwards: cripes Obama is
still reserving
the right to launch
missiles
Stephanopoulos: if Assad
stays in power is
that a defeat for the
United States?
Amash: how is that a
defeat for the U.S.? That's crazy
Stephanopoulos: but
America
must control the world
Dowd: people look at Iraq
and they say
“we can't trust the
government”
Stephanopoulos:
right-minded
Dowd: frankly this
agreement is the best
possible thing that could
happen
Gigot: but those towel
heads in Iran
now think they can avoid a
war
Stephanopoulos: good - we
don't want
a war with Iran
Gigot: Israel does
Stephanopoulos: no they
don't –
no sane person does
Gigot: well I do
Dowd: Paul you are an
idiot
Edwards: we need Assad to
control
those chemical weapons
Stephanopoulos:
fascinating
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