Gene Sperling – White
House economic advisor
Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH)
Dennis Rodman
Shane Smith
*********************************
Stephanopoulos: OMG the
Sequester Has Landed!
Sperling: the President
and Congress
signed these cuts into law
that were
considered so awfully
terrible no one
could ever possibly
consider them
Stephanopoulos: that's
crazy
Sperling: if Republicans
hate immigrats
they should oppose these
cuts because
we have to fire border
patrol agents and
let lots of Mexicans into
America
Stephanopoulos:
Republicans say
Obama can make sequester
less painful
Sperling: what if someone
threatens
to cut off three fingers
but you get
to choose which ones - how
is that good?
Stephanopoulos: if they
were someone
else's fingers
Sperling: Republicans said
they
wanted to close tax
loopholes and
now they won't do it
Stephanopoulos: Mayor Bloomberg
says Obama is just posturing
Sperling: so is he
Stephanopoulos: janitors
won't actually
get less pay – isn't
Obama hyping the threat?
Sperling: no it will cost
750,000 jobs
and wreck the economy
Stephanopoulos: did you
really threaten
to break Bob Woodward's
kneecaps?
Sperling: yes but only as
a friend
and he thanked me later
Stephanopoulos: he seemed
very scared
Sperling: I've know Bob
for 20 years
and he's always been a
weasel
Stephanopoulos: but you
said he
would regret saying
something stupid
which is threatening
Sperling: we both care
about policy and
he also cares about
playing a big
victim on Fox News
Stephanopoulos: Welcome
Kelly Ayotte –
what about the sequester –
is it hype or real?
Ayotte: it's real – our
troops are threatened
– the rest is fake
Stephanopoulos: wow
Ayotte: the sequester was
all Obama's idea!
Stephanopoulos: but it was
in response
to GOP debt ceiling
demands
Ayotte: Ronald Reagan
would never
accept these cuts in
doubled defense spending
Stephanopoulos: true
Ayotte: we could protect
our high defense spending
Stephanopoulos: how?
Ayotte: let's freeze pay
for all federal
employees and cut food
stamps
Stephanopoulos: Linsday
Graham is
willing to raise taxes in
exchange
for cutting Social
Security – how about that?
Ayotte: I would be willing
to cut Social
Security in
exchange for lowering taxes
Stephanopoulos: so you
would be willing
cut Medicare in exchange
for more revenue
Ayotte: yes in exchange
for lower taxes
and also lower spending
and cuts in
Medicare and Medicaid
Stephanopoulos: sounds
like the
makings of deal – up
next Dennis Rodman!
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: OMG Dennis
Rodman
stroked the dolphin with the
vicious
dictator of North Korea
Rodman: it was great
experience George
Stephanopoulos: you said
you loved him -
but he threatens America
Rodman: he's a good friend
and
lovely human being
Stephanopoulos: did you
prop up his horrible regime?
Rodman: people in that
country respect
Kim Jong-Un and love him
Stephanopoulos: aren't the
people there
forced to love him or be
tortued and killed?
Rodman: not that I saw - they just
spontaneously burst into songs
about him when he walks by
Stephanopoulos: what does
he want from America?
Rodman: he just wants
Obama to call him
Stephanopoulos: why
doesn't he call Obama?
Rodman: he tried but Obama
unfriended
him on Facebook and
blocked him Twitter
Stephanopoulos: what
purpose did your trip serve?
Rodman: Kim loves
basketball!
Obama loves basketball! There's your
peace
agreement right there!
Stephanopoulos: does he
wants to nuke
an American city?
Rodman: no he wants just
wants peace
love and absolute utter worship
Stephanopoulos: he said he
wants to
destory America
Rodman: oh that's just his
Dad talking
Stephanopoulos: so you
think he's not
so bad for a vicious
dictator
Rodman: no no - he's
really a great guy!
Stephanopoulos: he put
200,000
people in prison camps
Rodman: oh yeah maybe -
but we have
that in America too
Stephanopoulos: we do not
have
massive prison camps here
Dennis
Rodman: he doesn't really
want to
kill his own people – he
loves them –
he's just under a lot of
pressure!
Stephanopoulos: he's a
reluctant murderer?
Rodman: exactly - he's my
bro and
bros gotta stick together
Stephanopoulos: he's an
evil man
Rodman: you don't abandon
a friend
just because of a little
genocide –
after all Bill Clinton had
sex with an intern
Stephanopoulos: that's
hardly a good comparison
Rodman: it's the Guy Code
dude
Stephanopoulos: will you
go back?
Rodman: absolutely – I
love my new psychotic friend
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: could this
help
prop up Kim Jong Un
Smith: not really because
people
there know he's insane
Stephanopoulos: could the
trip help with diplomacy?
Smith: it might – look
we need
to talk to him even if he
is a dictator
Stephanopoulos: thanks for
the insight
****************************************
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