Sunday, October 21, 2012

Meet The Press - October 21, 2012

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)
David Axelrod (Obama campaign)
Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH)
Helene Cooper (NYT)
Tom Friedman (MOU)
Mike Murphy (GOP)
Dee Dee Myers (D)
Gregory: OMG the race is exactly tied!!

Todd: it’s a incredible coincidence that
the media is announcing the race is a tie
when a tie is also good for the media

Todd: Romney leads among men and
Obama leads with women but that’s
still good for Romney

Gregory: excellent

Todd: Romney leads in the South,
Obama in the East and the Midwest will
decide your next President

[ break ]

Gregory: Marco will Mitt Romney win Florida

Rubio: Obama has completely failed in the
last 72 hours to talk about his plan for the
next four years

Gregory: you are a noted expert in Iran -
should we do one-on-one negotiations?

Rubio: no one wants a war even though
they are really fun

Gregory: would Romney talk to Iran?

Rubio: we should only start a war with
Iran after sanctions have failed

Gregory: good

Rubio: Romney has a clear vision which
is Iran must not have a nuclear capacity
which will cause peace

Gregory: I was in Ohio his week

Rubio: I’m sorry to hear that

Gregory: suddenly Mitt Romney is
pro-contraception and pro-abortion for
rape and incest but supported the Blunt amendment

Rubio: this is not about contraception -
it’s about religious liberty

Gregory: so what is Romney’s policy?

Rubio: it has to be a legitimate religious exception

Gregory: what is that?

Rubio: you know a real religion
which is like legitimate rape

Gregory: So unelected bureaucrats would
decide whose religious beliefs are genuine
and which were not

Rubio: exactly - that’s what government
is for -- to decide which religions are real
like Catholcism and which are fake like-

Gregory: like Mormons?

Rubio: I was thinking of Lutherans

Gregory: would Romney sign a law banning abortion

Rubio: there is great diversity in the GOP
on this issue and Mitt Romney holds all those views

Gregory: have you seen any of these
binders full of women and do they have
a lot of recipes to rush home and make dinner

Rubio: Obama has totally failed to get
women jobs after the Bush recession!
What’s his plan! What’s his plan!

Gregory: does Romney think working
women should rush home to make dinner

Rubio: his record on women speaks for itself -
he’s never had an extra marital affair

Gregory: everyone knows that Medicare
is going broke

Rubio: of course it is

Gregory: why not offer your mother a
wonderful voucher for Medicare

Rubio: because my generation will have
great choices which my mother doesn’t deserve

Gregory: do you dislike her

Rubio: look she’s 81 and actually needs
Medicare unlike people who 30 years old now

Gregory: that makes sense

Rubio: where is the President’s plan to
voucherize Medicare?!

[ break ]

Gregory: is Obama going to talk to Iran
before we all go to war?

Axelrod: Obama has imposed withering sanctions
and brought the economy to its knees

Gregory: awesome

Axelrod: those wily Persians are feeling the heat

Gregory: cool

Axelrod: the world is unified against Iran

Gregory: the issue has been that Obama
said an attack on a consulate in Africa
could have more than one cause which as
we know is impossible

Axelrod: Fluffy you sound like an idiot

Gregory: Obama said he was destroyed
al-qeada and it looks like he didn’t

Axelrod: you said that last week and it wasn’t
true then either

Gregory: please continue David

Axelrod: Darrell Issa endangered the
lives of freedom fighters by revealing
classified information

Gregory: but he’s so wonderful

Axelrod: Paul Ryan tried to cut the state dept budget

Gregory: but how can White House change its
story about a riot in the middle of the night in
a foreign country just because new
information comes in??

Axelrod: I love you Fluffers

Gregory: does Obama have a plan for
the next four years?

Axelrod: yes - preventing the Republicans
from destroying America

Gregory: ok but what else

Axelrod: stop Romney from giving rich people
another five trillion dollars!

Gregory: Third Debate - The Final Showdown!

Axelrod: Romney is reckless and also kind of stupid

Gregory: that’s a little harsh

Axelrod: his Dukes of Hazzard Tour of
Great Britain was awful

Gregory: I always wanted to be Bo Duke

Axelrod: of course

Gregory: the race is 47-47 and Romney
leads in battleground states

Axelrod: NBC polls show Obama leading
in the swing states

Gregory: no! not true! It can’t be!

Axelrod: if you say so Fluff

[ break ]

Gregory: panel what really happened in Libya

Friedman: no one knows - people are not
easily categorized as terrorists or an
angry mob you know

Gregory: too bad

Friedman: thousands of Libyans marched
in favor of the United States of America
- that’s a good thing!

Gregory: but Obama claimed he destroyed
al-qeada and yet the FBI cannot get in there
and conservative magazines say
Obama is soft on terror

Myers: just as our intelligence has changed you
have become a greater moron over time

Gregory: but Peter King thinks Obama
is soft on terror

Cooper: get a grip on yourself Greggers

Murphy: Obama keeps putting our different
stories just because he gets new information

Gregory: Helene talk to me like I am an idiot

Cooper: I think I can do that

Gregory: thanks

Cooper: I’m concerned that America is not
very popular in Egypt and we’re not addressing
that in any meaningfully way

Friedman: Arab nations and Europe are both
failing and we are all interdependent which
means we’re all screwed

Gregory: but America is Number One!!

Murphy: who lost Egypt?

Gregory: should we go to war with Iran

Cooper: Obama has been pursuing talks
with Iran and now they are ready to talk
because things are really fucked up there

Friedman: he’s completely wrecked Iran’s
economy - he’s like a foreign policy George Bush

Murphy: America needs a ruthless bastard
and that’s the guy from Bain Capital

Gregory: Rob will Romney go to war with Iran?

Portman: Obama is totally soft on Iran
and hates our allies

Gregory: Romney loves allies?

Portman: oh yeah he’s all about working
with other countries

Gregory: Ohioans are being bombed
with advertising

Portman: I’ve been to a lot of Romney volunteer
offices and most people there plan to vote for
 him which is very encouraging

Gregory: Presidents Alan Simpson and
Erskine Bowles say Romney’s plan doesn’t add up

Portman: he will look at deductions and exemptions

Gregory: which ones?

Portman: never mind that - at least Romney has an unworkable plan - Obama has no plan

Gregory: no?

Portmna: Obama he wants to do in the next
four years when he did in the last four years

Gregory: well then that is a plan

Portman: he has a bad no plan!

Greg: thanks for coming Robbers

Gregory: panel what do women want?

Myers: Binders Full of Men

Gregory: nice

Myers: why did Romney need those binders
and why did he lie about it?

Gregory: Romney is doing better with women!

Murphy: I can’t remember any men who ever
worked with Romney

Gregory: they must have been very boring

Murphy: Romney was elected Governor
what does that tell you

Gregory: should working women rush home
to make my dinner

Copper: oh my god

Gregory: but isn’t Mitt Romney right about everything?

Friedman: yes

Gregory: super

Friedman: Obama should run this time as
the first ever white President who is also black

Gregory: who is winning this race?

Murphy: if Romney were doing better he
would definitely win

Myers: Obama is strong on the ground

Gregory: what would ask Obama and Romney tomorrow?

Cooper: should we start a trade war with
China or Palestine

Friedman: would you support a tax on
carbon-based life forms

Gregory: that’s an easy one for Mitt Romney

Gregory: liberal George McGovern has died and
he once appeared on Meet The Press -
I wonder what he would have thought of
Simpson-Bowles now we’ll never know and
that is so very sad

Friedman: [ sniff ]

Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press

Virtually Speaking Sundays - 6:00 p.m. Pacific| 9:00 p.m. Eastern -

Stuart Zechman talks with Marcy Wheeler, one of America's great investigative journalists, about Benghazi; unemployment and Third Way 'recovery' and 'stimulus;' and the constitutional amendment to legalize collective bargaining in Michigan; also featuring Culture of Truth's Most Ridiculous Thing That Happened This Sunday.

No comments: