Sunday, October 14, 2012

Meet The Press - October 14, 2012

Guests:
Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-VA)
Fmr. Gov. Jennifer Granhom (D-MI)
Mayor Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)
Tom Brokaw
Alex Castellanos
Stephen Colbert
***********************************************
Gregory: OMG Joe Biden rolled his
eyes during the debate

Gregory: Welcome Bob now give
me some spin

McDonnell: Obama has only created
millions of new jobs in Virginia
- he must be fired

Gregory: I’ve been reading a lot of
right-wing magazines

Granholm: how shocking

Gregory: and they all say Romney is winning

Granhom: we have the lowest
unemployment in four years,
consumer confidence is up, the
strong housing numbers
- we can’t go back Fluffy

Brokaw: Republicans think Joe
Biden was over-the-top

Gregory: that’s all you really
need to know

Brokaw: Obama will probably lose

Gregory: excellent

Brokaw: but Bruce Springsteen and
Bill Clinton are campaigning for Obama
- the Boss and the Big Dog could help

Castellanos: Mitt Romney shook the
etch-a-sketch and lied a lot which
has helped him very much

Gregory: that’s good news

Castellanos: Obama has no campaign
now that Romney is pretending
to be someone else

Gregory: Biden was so dismissive of young
Master Ryan I think he was on drugs

Reed: Biden is authentic and Romney
is a total phony

McDonnell: Biden said the middle class
has gotten buried for the past four years
and Biden has been in charge for the past for years

Gregory: Obama caused the recession?

McDonnell: we must pay off the debt!

Gregory: we have got to resolve the debt
issue by both sides in the next few weeks!

Brokaw: both sides have failed to make
the American people suffer enough

Gregory: good point

Brokaw: Obama must level with the
people about the need to inflict pain
on the middle class

Reed: criminy Romney has said he will
not raise taxes at all

Gregory: yes he will - just only on poor people

Castellanos: all we have to do is cut
taxes for rich people and everything
will be fine

Reed: you’re crazy

Brokaw: rich people really want to pay
more taxes but they justifiably insist on
poor people suffering first

Gregory: rich people are pure
non-ideological saints

Brokaw: they are so wonderful

Gregory: Biden said they didn’t know
the Libya embassy wanted more security

Granholm: the one in Tripoli but not
the one in Benghazi

McDonnell: we should not politicize
such attacks but I will just say that
Obama has weakened America and
will destroy our military which also
creates jobs in Virginia

Gregory: that is a perfect answer

Brokaw: how could Obama not know
that al-qaeda was going to attack
our consulates?

Castellanos: we need the world to
perceive that a President is strong -
the world looks at Obama sees weakness
which is why al-qaeda attacked a
consulate in Libya

Reed: George Bush a weak President
who invited an attack in 2001 and
Barack Obama killed Osama bin Laden

Gregory: The Big Dog was happy to
Ol’ Moderate Mitt

Clinton: where has this fake moderate been?

Gregory: is Romney the biggest
flip-flopper in history?

McDonnell: no because energy prices
have doubled under Obama

Gregory: that isn’t true

McDonnell: look Romney is a competent
white guy - just elect him already!

Granholm: Romney is a Trojan horse -
with little tiny necon soldiers inside him

Castellanos: Romney is essentially
a moderate who doesn’t drink caffeine
- how awesome is that

Reed: Romney is fleeing the right-wing
but he still believes cutting taxes
for the rich solves all problems

Brokaw: the debates have
reenergized the country

Greg: that is so true if you live
in the Beltway Zone

Brokaw: the challenge for the debates
will be for Obama to stop being so
terrible and Romney to point out
how Obama is terrible

Gregory: nice

Brokaw: the American people want
tough truth telling about how we
must cut public pensions

Gregory: this next debate is a town hall
format where random idiots get to ask
the President what kind of underwear they like

Castellanos: finally a substantive debate

Brokaw: Romney must find a connect
with human beings and Barack Obama
must finally put out a detailed plan

Gregory: like his year-old American Jobs Act?

Brokaw: harrumph

[ break ]

Gregory: Stephen welcome to Meet The Press

Colbert: I would love to meet the press -
where are they and why do they suck?

Gregory: who is winning this race?

Colbert: Mitt Romney is rockin’

Gregory: what does the real Colbert think?

Colbert: Romney was a shambles and
now seems to have his shit together

Gregory: what do your guests think of you?

Colbert: I actively play an idiot but
sometimes they forget like Bob Kerry
who stormed off stage because I was so stupid

Gregory: college courses us your show
to teach satire

Colbert: am I that brilliant oh dear

Gregory: you are a satirist but you
also use humor make a serious point

Colbert: that’s what satire is Fluffy

Gregory: if you say so

Colbert: I am fascinated by public issues
and I admire real newsmen and
also people like you

Gregory: you testified on Capitol Hill

Colbert: yes but I would only
do it in character

Greg: why did you do that

Colbert: to expose Congress as
a very silly place

Gregory: did they really need you to do that

Colbert: well anyway it was fun

Gregory: you made your own Super PAC

Colbert: I made a Super PAC by
accident to spoof the lack of rules
in political fundraising

Gregory: like me you cover the news

Colbert: Jon Stewart deconstructs
the news and I reconstruct the news

Greg: to spoof the absurdity of politics

Colbert: there is so little
trustworthy in the news

Gregory: why do young people
trust you to get the news instead of me

Colbert: you have to ask Fluffy

Gregory: pretend I'm not very bright

Colbert: I'll do my best

Gregory: thanks

Colbert: comedy makes you stop and
listen and think for a minute

Gregory: you wrote a book

Colbert: I wanted to write about how America
is the greatest nation of all time and
also we’re doomed

Gregory: why did you write another book

Colbert: why did the Bible need
another testament?

Gregory: does this election matter

Colbert: it’s hard to say Romney
seems sincere as a moderate and
also seems sincere a conservativehttp://

Gregory: that is true

Gregory: panel what lesson should politicians
take from Stephen Colbert

Reed: politicians and the media need to learn
to stop being such phonies

Brokaw: the lesson is both sides
are total hypocrites

McDonnell: Colbert is right -
we must elect Mitt Romney!

Gregory: who wins this election?

McDonnell: whoever can spend government
money to bring jobs to Virginia and
lower gas prices

Granholm: who do you trust to fight to
for the middle class - the guy with a
single mother or the guy with a dancing
horse and a Swiss bank account who’s
been rich and privileged his whole life

Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press

*****************************

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Incalulably invaluable. Super reporting and hogwash bulwark. Just hoping you realize how appreciated these translations are.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Fucking talking hairdo Brokaw.

Brilliant as always, CoT.
~

Anonymous said...

Luckily 11 years later, the Issa Hoes are getting to the bottom...of the security on 9-11. Especi cruial ishyO'Bamao ignored the memo titled "Al CIA d'uh determind to strike in ...Libya"

Anonymous said...

Luckily 11 years later, the Issa Hoes are getting to the bottom...of the security on 9-11. Especi cruial ishyO'Bamao ignored the memo titled "Al CIA d'uh determind to strike in ...Libya"