Guests
Gov. Hickenlooper (D-CO)
Kate Snow
William Bratton
Rep. Carolyn McCarthy (D-NY)
Steve Schmidt
Michelle Rhee
David Brooks
*********************************
Gregory: wow - all politics shut down
because there was a mass killing in Colorado
Gregory: Governor what’s happening out there
Hickenlooper: we’re fighting back!
Gregory: good for you
Hickenlooper: we must translate our
anger into a renewed love of America
Gregory: what about the acts of heroism
Hickenlooper: they are so inspiring
Gregory: what about this loony shooter
Hickenlooper: he’s not cooperating
Gregory: there was a fast response
by police and other overpaid civil servants
Hickenlooper: yes thanks to 9/11 Americans
have developed a smooth response
to mindless acts of terror
Gregory: what was his motive
Hickenlooper: I have no idea Fluffy
Gregory: he had tear gas cannisters
two Glocks a shotgun and
an assault rifle
Hickenlooper: as is his right Constitutional right
Gregory: Mayor Bloomberg says
we need to limit guns in America
Hickenlooper: because of the Internet
diabolical terrorists will always
find a way to kill people
Gregory: what can we say to people to
make them enjoy the movie-going experience
Hickenlooper: Westerners are tough and
we will not let one psycho stop us from
exercising our right to pay $15 to see Batman
Gregory: what’s happening in the town
Snow: everyone is talking about
all the guys who saved their girlfriends
Gregory: what else
Snow: he had 30 IEDs in his apartment
Gregory: holy crap
Gregory: hi panelists -
lone gunmen are really scary
Bratton: indeed they are David
Gregory: Carolyn this must be very
traumatic for you - tell me all about it
McCarthy: these lone gunmen all
have one thing in common
Gregory: three names?
McCarthy: guns Fluffy
Gregory: his gun jammed
Chertoff: see - it could have been
much worse - stop whining America
Gregory: how should America
react to this attack
Chertoff: ignore the gun issue and
praise the cops and ordinary people
who risked their lives to stop the
guy with that firing doohicky
Gregory: he was building a fucking arsenal
Bratton: family and friends can help us
spot potential mass murderers -
if you see something say something
McCarthy: I see another guy with
a gun killing people
Gregory: Congressman Gohmert wonders
why those cowards in the movie
theater didn’t shoot back
McCarthy: indeed 50 people all shooting
at each in a dark smoke-filled theater
- sounds ideal
Bratton: he had four guns and was wearing a
bullet proof vest and body armor
- no civilian was gonna take him down
Gregory: we don’t need more laws
because he bought these guns legally
McCarthy: your logic is impeccable Fluffy
Chertoff: you can build bombs in a
kitchen so we don’t need gun control
Gregory: I’m sold
Chertoff: we just need to crack down
on muslim terrorists on the Internet
McCarthy: ignore the NRA!
Gregory: is our public discourse
too out of wack?
Chertoff: of course - it’s all the fault
of those darn bloggers
McCarthy: forget the weirdos on the Internet - Michelle Bachmann is certifiable and dangerous
Gregory: of course both sides do it
McCarthy: no they don’t Fluffy
Gregory: is America safe?
Bratton: yes it is - also these killings will continue
Gregory: they will?
Bratton: and idiot politicians will call for
more and more guns
Gregory: but these guns were purchased
legally so we don’t need more laws
Bratton: Fluffy you are a fucking genius
Gregory: what’s up panelists
Brooks: we must find mentally ill
people who slip through the cracks
- be they violent loners or in the
House of Representatives
Rhee: banning violent video games
is only part of the solution
Gregory: there is no debate on gun
control anymore is there
Shrum: not when even terrorists have
a right to buy a assault rifle
Gregory: that’s just common sense
Gregory: even Democrats say hey
he was building bombs so why even
bother with more laws
Schmidt: no one can take on the NRA
Gregory: according to polls Obama
is leading - this race could not
be any closer!
Shrum: yes but Obama leads
in the swing states
Schmidt: the good news for Romney is
that he’s running a terrible campaign
Gregory: Michelle please bash Obama for me
Rhee: there are too many high school drop outs
Gregory: that is true but Mitt Romney
is a vigorous corporate personal trainer
Brooks: Romney should not release
his taxes because I don’t care about that
- I care about how wonderful he is
Gregory: I’m with you Bobo
Brooks: he is such an amazing person
- I love him so much
Shrum: his tax returns probably show
he took a deduction for killing a hobo
Gregory: that could be
Shrum: also he wants to cut Medicare
Schmidt: no one has ever released
20 years of tax returns so why bother
releasing any
Gregory: Steve did you read all
Romney’s tax returns?
Schmidt: no I didn’t have time
to read 10,000 pages -
also I don’t speak Latin
Shrum: Latin?
Schmidt: they’re very complex returns
Gregory: you can tell us - was there
something really bad in there
Schmidt: I can say he is a
pretty decent human
Gregory: Michelle who should
be Vice President
Rhee: for balance Romney should
pick a human being
Brooks: we need a white man
to respond to Iranian threats
Gregory: the conventions are coming! squeeee!
Shrum: Pat Buchanan hurt the GOP in 1992
Schmidt: just pick anyone not named Palin
Brooks: Michelle Rhee is my hero
but we must never talk about education
Rhee: the American people want
to hear us bash teachers
Gregory: I can’t believe Penn State
took Joe Paterno’s statue down
Shrum: what the hell was it doing
there in the first place?
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
*****************************************
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Love it
Really wish you'd do this more than just for the Sunday shows. One of the funniest political blogs around. If I had a few more of these to read every week maybe I would smile more rather than RAAAGE about, you know, the lying liars et al
Post a Comment