Sunday, July 15, 2012

Meet The Press - July 15, 2012

Ed Gillespie
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ)
Bob Costas

Gregory: OMG Obama keeps attacking
Mitt Romney just for outsourcing jobs

Gregory: Ed did if Romney left Bain in 1999
why do SEC documents say he was
President and CEO

Gillespie: Romney left to save the
Olympics and America!

Gregory: so was he responsible for
decisions made after 1999 or not?

Gillespie: he retired retroactively!

Gregory: that’s hilarious

Gillespie: that’s the best we’ve got

Gregory: does he stand by decisions made at Bain for outsourcing jobs?

Gillespie: he had nothing to do with those terrible decisions which were made by Bain which is a wonderful company

Gregory: I see

Gillespie: also offshoring never happened and it’s sad that Obama would imply it ever happened although Romeny didn’t do it and it was
a good thing if he did do it

Gregory: does he believe offshoring is good?

Gillespie: Obama made Romney send jobs to China because he hates businesses

Gregory: I see

Gillespie: Obama is a European socialist forcing businesses to send jobs to Finland

Gregory: is offshoring good or not?

Gillespie: Businesses must be free to do anything they want!

Gregory: should we make Olympic uniforms in China

Gillespie: We should stand by our athletes

Gregory: are you having trouble
understanding my questions?

Gillespie: Obama caused the recession!

Gregory: Romeny said he had ‘no comment’
on the China-made uniforms

Gillespie: Romney will call China a
currency manipulator!

Gregory: why release only one tax return?

Gillespie: he’s very transparent -
he’s practically invisible!

Gregory: Romney told Ted Kennedy he should release more tax returns

Gillespie: Obama wrecked the economy!

Gregory: okay

Gillespie: also Obama is a corrupt
black guy taking payoffs

Gregory: we’ll leave it there

Gregory: Obama accused Romney of
committing a felony - that’s so mean!

Durbin: the SEC documents say he was
sole CEO and Romney says he had no role

Gregory: but the word felony is unfair
under the terms of Village Journalism

Durbin: what the fuck is Romney hiding
- he’s running from Bain and won’t
release any taxes?

Kyl: the Washington Post says Obama is fibbing!

Gregory: see I told you

Kyl: Obama caused jobs to go to China

Gregory: are you serious

Kyl: yes - Obama’s health care plan
sends jobs to Canada!

Gregory: should Olympic uniforms be
made in China?

Kyl: the government forces jobs out of America because liberals won’t lower our labor standards

Durbin: our tax policies encourage moving
jobs to other countries

Gregory: really

Durbin: we need a President who will
create jobs here in America and not
weird foreign countries

Gregory: should we keep the Bush tax cuts?

Durbin: yes - for everyone but the top 2%

Gregory: but the rich are such nice people!!

Durbin: well we need the money
to cut the deficit

Kyl: that’s true but the last people we
should increase taxes on are our
job creators

Durbin: it’s been more than 10 years
- when are they are going to start
creating those jobs?

Kyl: any day now - I swear

Gregory: will the election resolve this
issue once and for all?

Kyl: I believe the GOP will keep the
Senate which will put pressure on Obama

Gregory: so you think Obama
will be reelected

Kyl: let’s get real - of course

Gregory: so panel the issue du jour
is offshoring

Murphy: the cynicism from Obama is so sad

Rosen: Romney ran on his business
experience and Obama is talking about it!

Woodward: SEC documents?
No rational person believes those!

Gregory: true

Woodward: but Cayman Islands accounts
- that’s just weird

Norquist: Obama caused a decline in
America since WWII

Gregory: he did?

Norquist: indeed - his grandfather planned
all this while riding with Patton

Jealous: Obama hasn’t created jobs
and Romney is an unfeeling robot

Rosen: Obama has tried to create jobs
and the GOP in Congress keep blocking him

Gregory: maybe

Rosen: what if other Americans hid
their money in Switzerland??

Gregory: if ?

Murphy: it’s so sad that Obama is trying
to win this election by pointing
out Romney is a jerk

Rosen: the GOP are preventing progress!

Woodward: partisan squabbling iz bad!

Jealous: I miss Jack Kemp

Gregory: Jack Kemp is dead dude

Jealous: Romney should act like he
cares about the poor 99%

Rosen: do you have any other ideas?

Murphy: Romney has to act like
he’s proud of Bain Capital instead
of cowering like an equity bunny rabbit

Rosen: Obama needs to pivot to
be the inspirational cool guy
we all remember

Gregory: Obama says he need to
tell a better story about his successes

Woodward: Obama and the GOP have
equally failed to cut Social Security

Murphy: Obama is a terrible President
and Romney is a terrible human

Gregory: what about your no-taxes pledge?

Norquist: all bow down before me!

Gregory: let’s not talk about Presidential politics
- let’s talk about Presidential books

Rosen: Nora Ephron's book is wonderful

Gregory: fancypants!

Woodward: you can never go wrong
reliving WWII

Jealous: most people don’t know that Bob Marley helped write the Declaration of Independence

Norquist: I’ve mostly been reading kid’s books
about tax monsters under the bed

Gregory: Bob talk to me about the
tragedy of Joe Paterno

Costas: he was an absolutely revered football
coach but he enabled a child molestor

Gregory: but he was such a good guy since he ran
a clean and ethical athletic program except for
the lawbreaking and child abuse

Costas: his players usually graduated from the school and didn’t often cheat in class

Gregory: my god that is so admirable

Costas: however power corrupts and they built a fucking statue to Joe Paterno

Gregory: even so - how do you jump from sports hero worship to covering up for child rape?

Costas: the NCAA will give the school the death penalty - meaning not the actual death penalty
but they can’t play football for a year

Gregory: it’s death!

Costas: hey they brought this on themselves

Gregory: indeed it’s shocking

Costas: America cannot tolerate corruption outside the Catholic Church, Wall Street, Government
and journalism - this is college sports
- something really important!

Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press


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