Sunday, December 04, 2011

This Week with Christiane Amanpour - December 4, 2011

Rick Santorum - Fmr. Sen. (R-PA)
George Will
Donna Brazille
Arianna Huffingon
Major Garrett
Amanpour: oh my - Iran shot down a U.S.
drone, several people were injured
when Oklahoma won a football game and
Newt Gingrich is leading the GOP primary

Gingrich: I’m going to be the nominee bitches!

Romney: This is press conference - I’m
not answering a lot of questions!

Fox News: you have no soul Mittens

Romney: I object - my program states
I do fact have a soul

Gingrich: I was not a lobbyist I just took
money to push for deregulation

Cain: I confess I had a consensual affair and
therefore must drop out

Perry: if you’re 21 years old vote for me!

Obama: unemployment is only 8.6% dammit

Amanpour: Welcome Rick Santorum -
no one likes you

Santorum: true but people used to hate
me so things are looking up

Amanpour: you couldn’t even win in Pennsylvania

Santorum: yes but those people are all idiots

Amanpour: everyone has been the NotRomney
except for you

Santorum: that’s a good thing - I’m flying
under the radar!

Amanpour: are you totally delusional?

Santorum: I think I can win Iowa

Amanpour: wow

Santorum: Many people in Iowa are still open
to voting against me

Amanpour: fascinating

Santorum: I’m pro-war and anti-gay

Amanpour: you have 7 children and one is
very sick so why keep campaigning?

Santorum: Because gay terrorists will ruin
my childrens’ lives

Amanpour: you are on the bottom

Santorum: yes but I could be a top if necessary

Amanpour: Gingrich goes through wives like
most people get new smartphones

Santorum: I don’t like a phone smarter than me

Amanpour: does Newt have values?

Santorum: he’s immoral scum

Amanpour: speaking of lack of ethics -
how about Herman Cain?

Santorum: my heart goes out to Cain and the
many many many women he slept with

Amanpour: Mitt Romney is leading -
should the GOP nominate a poll-driven

Santorum: I’m consistent - look at our records
Google both of us!

Amanpour: oh my

[ break ]

Will: the GOP needs to adjust the primaries
so it is not hijacked by grifters and charlatans
like Herman Cain

Huffington: the media breathlessly followed
this talk show host who was on a book tour

Glen Beck: Rick Santorum is the
next George Washington

Garrett: He may get the coveted
Sarah Palin endorsement!

Amanpour: what about Newt Gingrich?

Brazille: one more debate with these loons
and Obama will be President-for-Life

Huffington: Gingrich is very American -
he’s the Walt Whitman of political hypocrites

Will: Mitt Romney is another Tom Dewey

Amanpour: according to the media he
defeated Truman

Will: Gingrich will unite America in intense
dislike for him

Garrett: Newt will carry early primary
southern states and therefore will likely win
even though he’s a dick

Amanpour: wow

Garrett: Newt creates an ideas factory and
Romney just lays people off

Huffington: Newt cares about poor people

Garrett: he wants to put them in orphanages

Amanpour: so many great ideas - thanks for coming!


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