Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN)
Gregory: OMG Tim Pawlenty has dropped out
and boring white men all over are very sad
Gregory: Michele are you the front runner in Iowa?
Bachmann: This is my Waterloo!
Gregory: you made T-Paw cry
Bachmann: I love that little dweeb
Gregory: what about Rick Perry?
Bachmann: do we really need another
dimwit Texas governor Fluffy?
Gregory: you’ve only been in the House
a few years - is that enough experience?
Bachmann: I know how devastating high taxes
are since I devastated people for the IRS
Gregory: I see
Bachmann: I also started a small business
converting gay people
Bachmann: I was the tip of the spear to not
pay the nation’s debts!
Gregory: can you appeal to regular people
in the general election?
Bachmann: I’m from a state which
elected Jesse Ventura
Gregory: that makes sense
Bachmann: I swear I’m not crazy Fluffy!
Gregory: can you turn the economy around?
Bachmann: we need to send a message
to the markets
Gregory: what is that?
Gregory: half of all employees are being fired
because of Obamacare and Dodd-Frank
Gregory: would you support a payroll tax cut?
Bach: we need to slash spending and never
change tax rates ever
Gregory: what else?
Bachmann: cut corporate taxes
Gregory: what about extending jobless benefits?
Bachmann: no we can’t America is broke
Gregory: everyone but you thought threatening
not raising the debt ceiling was insane
Bachmann: but things are bad so we should default
Gregory: that’s crazy!
Bachmann: no I would not raise the debt ceiling
but I also would not default
Gregory: oh I see
Bachmann: the people in America said don’t
raise the debt ceiling
Gregory: but those people are stupid
Bachmann: markets are roiling!
Gregory: Standard & Poors said they downgraded
the U.S. because Republicans made the credit
of the U.S. a bargaining chip
Bachmann: Obama threatened to default but
I would have paid our soldiers
Gregory: but you purposefully started using
the debt as a bargaining chip
Bachmann: I love old people - Obama
threatened default not me!
Gregory: Bill Gross says the tea party
are fucking crazy
Bachmann: the way your grow the economy is to
cut taxes so businesses can hire people
Gregory: I like it
Bachmann: Electrolux vacuum cleaners left
America because the Departments of Transportation
pays 1,000 people $100,000 a year
Gregory: does God require women to be
submissive to husbands
Bachmann: submission is the same as respect
Gregory: I checked with Mrs. Fluffy and she
told me to tell that that isn’t true
Bachmann: we’re a good team like
Liza Minnelli and David Gest
Gregory: are you religious?
Bachmann: I’m not perfect but God guides me
Gregory: would God guide your decisions
Bachmann: God has been very very good to us
Gregory: would you appoint an atheist
to your cabinet?
Bachmann: why not as long as he or she
wasn’t a liberal?
Gregory: you said that the gay lifestyle is Satanic,
dangerous, dysfunctional sad and enslavement
Bachmann: I don’t judge people
Gregory: sure you do
Bachmann: I ascribe honor and dignity
to gay people
Gregory: it sure doesn’t sound like it
Bachmann: I’m not judging anyone
Gregory: would you let gays in your cabinet?
Bachmann: if they shared my views
Gregory: the view that being gay like
bondage and enslavement
Gregory: can gay people be with children be
considered a family?
Bachmann: no they all have bondage cooties
Bachmann: look people in America don’t care
about this they want jobs
Gregory: but you have no economic
Bachmann: God wants me to cut taxes!
Gregory: can you really bring Republicans and
Bachmann: we got the federal government out of
education in Minnesota and I’m very proud of that
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Hi panelists - Bachmann knocked
T-Paw out of the race!
Todd: It’s now between Romney, Perry and Bachmann
Gregory: no love for Ron Paul?
Todd: he’s crazy by which I mean he’s too sane
Gregory: is Iowa just an evangelical primary?
Branstad: look what happened to Rudy Giuliani -
he was the President of 9/11 and then he skipped
Iowa and he’s doing dinner theater in Mineola
Murphy: If Romney loses here and wins in
New Hampshire and loses in the South
he’s in real trouble
Murphy: will we nominate our own
Martin: this is good for Romney because he
can let Bachmann and Perry fight it out for
the Christian votes
Robinson: Bachmann has impressed a lot of people this week
Robinson: Obama was having a terrible week
until they saw that debate and his team started
Branstad: Iowans hate debt!
Gregory: is that right?
Branstad: I love Bachmann because she
was a tax lawyer
Gregory: true but Bachmann is also utterly crazy
Todd: a majority of freshman Republicans don’t
even agree with Bachmann on the debt ceiling
Gregory: interesting point
Robinson: she collected taxes for the IRS!
Murphy: there’s a Texas sized barracuda
cheeseburger with hot sauce coming and it’s
topped with a Rick Perry bun!
Branstad: cut the corporate income tax!
Robinson: yes but they have oil in Canada
Branstad: we have oil too but Obama won’t let us use any of it!
Martin: Rick Perry’s problem is he looks like
Josh Brolin playing George Bush
Perry: I promise as President to make Washington
Todd: that’s crazy - the public wants government
Gregory: I see
Todd: but the populists are angry at Washington
Gregory: Obama says the people don’t want partisanship
Robinson: after the debt fiasco people are more
mad at the Republicans
Branstad: Obama has utterly failed to being sanity
to the Republican party and he blames everyone
else for this sad failure
Murphy: Iowa straw poll voters would vote
Martin: Perry created jobs like Romney but also
appeals to evangelicals - he’s got it all!
Todd: This race will go to June 2012
Audience: oh my god
Murphy: Perry is a silo-jumper!
Gregory: people are across America are talking about
the Ames poll, Rick Pawlenty and Rick Perry
Robinson: yes but those people need to get a life
Murphy: T-Paw will endorse Bachmann
when I fly to Jupiter
Martin: Team Obama thinks America
won’t elect an idiot Texan governor
Todd: he’s been in office for 26 years so believe
me Democrats will check his record
Gregory: if the election were held today Obama might lose
Robinson: yes but it’s a year and a half away Fluffy
Gregory: and we’ll be there every step of the way
Audience: oh god
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press