Guests:
Mohamed Elbaradei
Sameh Shoukry - Egypt Amb. to U.S.
Sen. John Kerry (D-MA)
James Baker
Peggy Noonan
Willie Brown
Andrea Mitchell
******************************
Gregory: Mohamed is it your position that
Mubarak must leave?
Elbaradei: no he can stay in Egypt after he
resigns in humiliation
Gregory: so you’re saying he has to leave Egypt
Elbaradei: no Fluffy - I’m saying he has to cede power gradually before I’m elected President
Gregory: will you bash Obama for me
Elbaradei: he should support basic human rights like democracy, freedom and access to Facebook
Gregory: should Americans be terrified of Arab democracy?
Elbaradei: yes if you are scared of democracy all across the Middle East because it’s coming baby
Gregory: aaarrrhhhhh!!!
Elbaradei: I was being sarcastic and you are
an insult to 300 million people
Gregory: sorry I love Arabs
Elbaradei: I was referring to Americans
Gregory: what abut the peace treaty with Israel?
Elbaradei: not unless they establish a
Palestinian state
Gregory: OMG you’re going to start a war!!!
Elbaradei: make of that whatever you want
[ break ]
Gregory: Ambasador is this an unstoppable revolution?
Shoukry: well it’s very nice
Gregory: but you can never go back again
Shoukry: true enough
Gregory: when will Mubarak quit?
Shoukry: I don’t know - he’s gotten really weird lately
Gregory: like how
Shoukry: he just goes on and on about what a
freak Steven Tyler is
Gregory: Obama says he should quit now
Shoukry: Regardless you’re not getting Simon Cowell back
Gregory: I meant Mubarak
Shoukry: oh that -- yes but Obama also said this is an Egyptian problem so really Mubarak might
as well stay
Gregory: Mubarak unleashed goon squads on journalists!
Shoukry: we’re going to investigate our thugs and why they fucked up - I tell that would never happened in the old days
Gregory: with all due respect that’s ridiculous
Shoukry: bite me Fluffy
Gregory: Should Americans be terrified of
Muslim democracy?
Shoukry: if you’re a normal person no --
but if you watch a lot of Fox news then yes
Gregory: thanks buddy
[ break ]
Gregory: what do you think of Egypt John
Kerry: it’s awesome - they’re lifting the state of emergency which will allow people to meet at a cafĂ© which as well all know is a prelude to democracy
Starbucks: darn right
Obama: Mubarak should leave
Wisner: it’s critical for Mubarak to stay
Gregory: wha?
Kerry: Obama is flooding the zone with
Germans and Turks!!
Gregory: holy crap!
Kerry: we want orderly change
Gregory: when?
Kerry: now!
Gregory: when will that happen
Kerry: it is happening as we speak Greggers
Gregory: but what minute of hour of what day?
Kerry: um you know Egypt isn’t actually part
of the United States
Gregory: why do you hate America-Egypt
Kerry: elections don’t bring democracy - look at Bush v. Gore
Gregory: How is it possible that Obama didn’t see everything happening in Egypt!?
Kerry: because fuck you
Gregory: that hurts John
Kerry: the whole revolution happened on Facebook and Twitter - only weirdos and losers are on those
Gregory: I’m on both all the time
Kerry: well there you go then
[ break ]
Gregory: I’m here at a shrine to Ronald Reagan -- look at that big airplane and this historic piece
of furniture!
Audience: woo hoo
Gregory: James Baker you’re a lawyer from Texas - so tell us about Egypt
Baker: if one-party rule is good enough for Texas it should be good enough for Egypt
Gregory: But shouldn’t we petrified of
democracy there??
Baker: the radicals are frightening
Gregory: damm hippies
Baker: I meant the neocons
Gregory: let’s bash Obama!
Mitchell: Fluffy the last thing the region needs is for America to be seen as installing a government
Gregory: oh
Mitchell: they are getting every nation to pile on Mubarak and it’s working
Gregory: god I loved it when Reagan said tear down this wall and Gorby ignored him for 2 years
Noonan: so awesome
Gregory: doesn’t this mean Obama is a total failure compared to Reagan?
Noonan: Fluffy even I think that’s stupid
Brown: America fuck yeah!
Gregory: let us now all celebrate Reagan
Noonan: Regan deepened faith in government
Audience: of course he did
Noonan: everyone was optimistic when Reagan was President - even homeless veterans with aids dreamed of financing fancy German-made cardboard boxes with junk bonds
Gregory: what a glorious time it was
Gregory: James Baker will you please bash
Barack Obama for me
Baker: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: But Reagan torn down the Manila Wall !!
Baker: Gregory you’re not the solution to our problems - you are the problem
Gregory: wasn’t Reagan right when he said government sucks and proved it for 8 years
Brown: yes but he had practice wrecking
California before that
Gregory: he raised taxes too though
Mitchell: conservative lunatics now all want to be Reagan - but he compromised with Democrats all the time
Noonan: In 1964 Regan bravely explained civil rights were a Soviet plot
Gregory: what would Saint Ronnie think of the
Tea Party?
Baker: he would love it but they would hate him because Reagan was all about bipartisanship
Gregory: really?
Baker: he knew when to hold ‘em and fold ‘em
Gregory: he was like Kenny Rogers without the chicken
Baker: Working in Hollywood prepared him for dealing scum and villany around the world
Gregory: ha ha ha Newsweek says Obama loves Reagan
Brown: Obama failed because of all those loser progressives
Gregory: honestly were deregulation and deficits such great ideas?
Baker: those never happened
Gregory: Obama said we should do big things - That’s So Reagan
Noonan: look here’s where the bullet bounced
right off Reagan
Gregory: wow
Gregory: and here’s that famous line after the Challenger explosion
Noonan: yes that’s from a wonderful famous poem
Gregory: what - I’m so disillusioned
Noonan: sorry Greggers
Gregory: and we will have 7 more hours of Reagan coverage today
Audience: it’s the SuperBowl of Adulation
****************************************
Sunday, February 06, 2011
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2 comments:
Thanks for watching so I don't have to, C/T.
P.S. No appearance by Jaws?
~
you’ve got great elements there and I do like how you encourage the readers to take the time to think.
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