Saturday, July 25, 2009


Dear Sergeant Crowley,
You gotta understand,
It's just our bringing up-ly
That get us out of hand!
Our mothers all are negroes
Our fathers all are black
Golly, naturally we talk back!!

All: They Talk Back!

Gee, Officer Crowley, we're very upset;
We never had the teaching that
every child oughta get
We really don't hate whitey
We salute the President
We're just not that subservient!

All: Not That Subservient!

Gee, Officer Crowley, it's really a shame,
Gates don't need handcuffs,
the guy walks with a cane
You could've used a taser
or maybe sprayed some mace
The Prof just doesn't know his place!

All: Know His Place!

Gee, Officer Crowley
People call you a racist, you're in the culture war
Just like Obama, Alito and Sotomayor
I hope you've learned a lesson
Now that you and Barack are mates
Don't fuck with Henry Louis Gates!

All: Don't Fuck With Henry Louis Gates!

All: Just....Don't.. Fuck... With Heeeenry Looouis Gaaaaates!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

President Barack Obama Press Conference - July 22, 2009

President Barack Obama Press Conference
July 22, 2009

Obama: hello American people you all know if we don’t enact health care reform we are totally fucked in a major way - now I’ll take questions from the idiots called the white house press corps

AP: How do you plan to pay for this and
what’s your dealbreaker?

Obama: hey dude right now we’re all paying for it - at this rate we won’t be able to afford to iPhones, cable tv, or to invade every tiny little country that pisses off

AP: oh no

Obama: yeah! so that’s 2/3 of the cost right there

AP: and the rest?

Obama: remove tax deductionsbut I don’t
foreclose other options

AP: oh no don’t say foreclose

Obama: hey we could raise taxes on millionaires

White House Press corps: oh shit

Obama: or eliminate waste

White House Press corps: oh yeah much better

Obama: I’m am the motherfucking president and let me tell you - just like the economy - the health care system I inherited from George W. Bush really fucking sucks

White House Press corps: oh poo

Obama: we can do this but we’ve got to make some major fucking changes - we need new computers, fewer tests and better goddamm lollipops!

White House Press corps: he’s good

Obama: people hate Washington DC but I’m telling you people the cost of doing nothing is worse - yo Two First Names David Alexander!

Reuters: what’s the rush Bammy

Obama: people are fucking dyin on me!

Reuters: then you bite the bullet and take
them to a fucking hospital

Obama: you have set deadlines in this town or nothing ever fucking happens - at this rate I’m going to have promise a mushroom cloud over Arlington to wake you fuckers up!

Reuters: that iz scary

Obama: you’re damm right it is!

Obama: C-Todd let’s all get a load of your big brain

Todd: how many people will you leave uninsured and will they deserve it?

Obama: good one toddster - look I want to cover almost everyone - but not that cheerleader on Heroes - she keeps jumping in front of a fucking bus and running into fire and that shit just ain’t right!

Todd: woo hoo NBC

Obama: zip it Toddy

Todd: woo

Obama: the average American is paying hidden costs to pay for people who get their primary treatment in the fucking ER - that is just stupid

Todd: why can’t you get all the blue dog Democrats on board big guy?

Obama: hey I float about the fucking fray - I love me some Chuck Grassley - sure he’s a major doofus but at least he’s not off hiking the Applachian Trail
of Stupidity

Todd: good one Barack

Obama: of course it was goatee boy - Tap Dancer!

Tapper: Mr. President will we be sacrificing the lives of our old people and will any of them not be celebrities?

Obama: they’re going to have to give up the endless joy of mammograms and that third MRI and of course the testicle squeezing

Tapper: [ twittering ] i hate teh ball krushing

Obama: hey dude stop twittering for a goddamm second

Tapper: [ twittering ] prez sayz dood no twittering

Obama: I get that people are worried about all the trillions of debt - debt I inherited from Stupid I might mention - also Bush lost 700,000 jobs and trillions
in U.S. wealth

Tapper: [ twittering ] Bam says Stupid screwd me

Obama: so I care about the debt and I cut it by 2 trillion by for example getting rid of a fighter jet that doesn’t fly in the motherfucking rain

F-22 Pilot: [ pops umbrella ] uh oh

Obama: Computer Chip!

Reid: specifically what kind of human sacrifice are you suggesting for Medicare for example may
I suggest my mother-in-law

Obama: that’s cold Chocolate Chip

Reid: heh heh

Obama: I just got Big Pharma to give me $80 billion for old people - Kristy!

Parsons: why all the secrecy Bam

Obama: hey you can stand outside the white house and see who goes in and out if you really want

Parson: why not put it on C-SPAN

Obama: we did - a network no one but crazy shut-ins in the perfect place to hide!

Q: Will you crack down on Wall Street criminals

Obama: it was Stupid who gave all the money to the Bankster Crooks - now as it turns out the experts said we had to give free money to criminals who created a near Depression to stave off an actual Depression

Q: that is awesomely convenient

Obama: wait there’s more - now they’re all getting rich off the money we gave them which proves
we were right!

Q: Do any of them drive Cadillacs like Reagan’s welfare mother

Obama: hell if I know - all I know is the lesson we’ve taught them is that whenever they get in trouble
for their gambling Uncle Sam will be there to bail them out

Q: so what’s the solution?

Obama: public shaming - they must sit in the table near the kitchen at Le Cirque

Bankster: oh the horror

Cleveland: Will you guarantee people will actually be covered once the GOP gets hold of this
1,000 page bill?

Obama: that’s the beauty of the plan - health insurers must compete and provide good, honest, non-profit driven-care or go out of business

Insurers: oh shit we’re fucked

Obama: right now health insurers are getting super-rich fucking over the American people
which is nice for them but kind of fucking sucks
for the rest of us

Audience: he’s got a point

Obama: dammit people right now the Insurer comes between you and your doctor - and getting rich by denying care when somebody gets sick is just fucking wrong!

Cleveland: will enroll in same public plan?

Obama: I’ve got the best health care in the world - I got tiger woods’ doctor dammit

Q: why are you going to Cleveland - did you lose
a bet or something?

Obama: read the Mayo Clinic blog - they
tweeted that they love me

Q: dood can a black man enter his own fucking house anymore?

Obama: I know very little about this incident with Skip Gates except every damm little fucking tiny detail

Audience: I see

Obama: hell I’ve been stopped by the Secret Service three times trying to enter the fucking White House

Audience: wow

Obama: the Cambridge police acted stupidly for arresting a brother for entering his own motherfucking house - I mean all this was all
covered in the movie Soul Man for christ’s sake

C Thomas Howell: amen bro - catch me on Southland

Q: I’m black and now I’m going to back in my White House and watch America's Got Talent and make sweet love to my beautiful black wife in the motherfucking Lincoln bedroom

good night white fuckers!

By Culture of Truth

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Meet The Press with Sec. Sebelius and Sen. McConnell - July 19, 2009

Meet The Press
Sec. of HHS Kathleen Sebelius
Sen. Mitch McConell
Gregory: welcome Katie - now let's talk health care

Sebelius: ok doofus

Gregory: the CBO says you will bankrupt America and take away tongue depressers

Sebelius: we're going to cut costs - like no more MRIs unless you're missing an major organ

Gregory: but but but you have to cut costs like how about not covering anyone

Sebelius: we plan to Greggers

Gregory: goddammit you said you are going to spend a trillion dollars but people will still get health care!

Sebelius: suddenly Republicans like you are worried about spending - funny how that works

Gregory: so this bill is unfinished?

Sebelius: more or less

Gregory: so the final word is - it's got to lower costs

Sebelius: yes but-

Gregory: lower costs!

Sebelius: but-

Gregory: costs!

Sebelius: and quality

Gregory: um what

Gregory: so you will cover everyone?

Sebelius: yes we hope so

Gregory: well who you would leave out?

Sebelius: if necessary the Irish

Gregory: isn't proof that Obama is a failure that Mitt Romney's plan in Massachusetts sucks?

Sebelius: no because he's a moron

Gregory: so how will you save money?

Sebelius: the public option will bring competition which will drive costs down

Gregory: but that's cheating by using efficiency to save money

Sebelius: why not

Gregory: that will kill poor little insurance companies

Sebelius: fuck em

Gregory: Obama keeps promising that you will get to keep your insurance but that's false because in a free market your employer can take it away!

Sebelius: that can already do that in the free market

Gregory: so Obama should nationalize the entire insurance market system

Sebelius: that makes no sense

Gregory: If Obama doesn’t have the government take over the market it will destroy the free market

Sebelius: I heard you a fucking moron

Gregory: will Obama take away my health care that's so scary

Sebelius: there's rationing right now dipshit

Gregory: some freshman democrat somewhere is concerned about taxes

Sebelius: oh boo fucking hoo

Gregory: well where does he stand on taxes?

Sebelius: if you recall Bush signed a drug bill without paying for it

Gregory: yes but he was such a cool guy he gave me a nickname

Sebelius: I’ll give you one fluffyhaid

Gregory: why not tax employer health benefits?

Sebelius: dude that would kill the little remaining free market we have

Gregory: why do want to tax only rich people?

Sebelius: they're all jerks like you David

Gregory: what's your deadline?

Sebelius: hey the AMA endorsed the plan

Gregory: why doesn't Obama just enact the bill?

Sebelius: he's not a member of Congress dumbass

Gregory: I'm scared about the pig flu

Sebelius: you need to calm down stupid - here take a pill

Gregory: [ gulp ]

twitters: awesome katie s gave me pillz

[ break ]

Gregory: So Mitch is the President going to pass a health reform bill by August?

McConnell: we’ve only been doing this since 1993 why the rush?

Gregory: that’s a good point

McConnell: suddenly the GOP are worried about the debt for the first time since 1980

Gregory: wow and it’s so expensive

McConnell: yes and Obama is going to pay for it by stealing from old people and small businesses

Gregory: that’s so sad

McConnell: plus Obama doesn’t even care that America is the best country in the world

[ waves foam We’re Number #1 finger ]

Gregory: liberals hate the U.S. don’t they

McConnell: they want to scrap the entire health care system and have all use leeches and trepanning

Gregory: ok but most people think the health care system completely sucks

McConnell: ah we have an awesome plan to fix the health care system

Gregory: what is it?

McConnell: tax cuts, wellness programs, and ending all malpractice lawsuits

Gregory: dude 47 million Americans don’t have health insurance

McConnell: true but the point is they all free incredibly inefficient health care

Gregory: Ted Kennedy has a brain tumor and makes more sense than you

McConnell: Government health care is unfair because it will be better and cheaper and that will put insurers out of business

Gregory: so what’s wrong with that

McConnell: some guy in Canada once died

Gregory: Jim DeMint is like Ivan Drago he must break Obama

McConnell: Greggers I will stand against a socialist hell

Gregory: was the stimulus too big or too small?

McConnell: the stimulus clearly failed so we should start enacting Republican policies which have a great track record

Gregory: why do oppose Sonia Sotomayor who is so adorable

McConnell: hey I love ethnic minorities I married one

Gregory: so why not

McConnell: she lets her hot Latina views obscure what should be her white male objectivity

Gregory: please bash Obama on Afghanistan

McConnell: no he’s irrationally kicking ass and I like that because he’s keep Americans safe from terrorists

Gregory: except for the American held hostage by terrorists

McConnell: um right

[ break ]

Gregory: To me the biggest issue is repeating GOP talking points - i mean, containing costs

Hardwood: we need to raise taxes on health care benefits cause suddenly the GOP loves raising taxes

Gregory: Obama is defensive isn't he

Gigot: well people love him but secretly the American people yearn for a right-wing dictator

Gregory: they want higher tax rates than France!

Gigot: i know Fluffers!

Gregory: [ high pitched voice ]

Oh. My. God!

Norris: Obama's all over place trying to solve problems - it's crazy!!

Gregory: dick is Obama a total failure?

Wolffe: he will be if he doesn't twist some arms like Lyndon Johnson

Norris: the public doesn't want this crazy rush to reform health care - they love the current system

Gigot: he's making a mistake of governing to the left

Gregory: so what should he do?

Gigot: give the poor tax credits and put John McCain in charge

Gregory: of course

Gregory: Let's talk about blueprint of returning my best friends the Republicans to power

Hardwood: McConnell is exactly right - suddenly spending and debt matters for the first time since 1981

Wolffe: um dudes Obama is popular even in Michigan

Gregory: that can't be right i hate Obama

Gigot: i can't believe he hasn't fixed all of Bush's mistakes - clearly we should elect more Republicans

Gregory: OMG the AP said after 4 weeks of not being in public and then being in public Hillary is too powerful and not powerful enough!!!

Norris: i gotta call bullshit on that Greggers

Hardwood: who gives a shit about this silly gossip

Gregory: she has a hidden agenda to take the Presidency away from Obama doesn't she

Wolffe: i heard you cheap gossip-trading dick

Gregory: Walter Cronkite was great I bet he often told LBJ or Nixon his show allows you to frame the conversation as you really want

Cronkite: don’t make me come up there and kick your ass

The Chris Matthews Show - July 19, 2009

Matthews: OMG Reforming health care is really expensive and suddenly since 1979 I'm worried about the debt again!

Brooks: they are going to raise taxes on little businesses higher than in hellish places like Spain and France!

Matthews: will they ram it through undemocratically or get David Broder's approval??

O'Donnell: they will ram it through - the bastards

Parker: they hate Democracy just because they have most of the votes

Brooks: unlike me Obama is totally out of touch with America

Page: you're an idiot

Matthews: but all the rich people will pay for the poor people

Brooks: i don't understand why Obama is letting Congress write a bill in Congress

Matthews: it’s so sad

Brooks: we have to ration health care but greedy unions gets free x-rays and they don't want to give it up even if destroys America

O'Donnell: Republicans say if we rush this there will be unintended consequences like they will lose votes

Brooks: 7 Senators will destroy this bill which is the very essence of democracy

O'Donnell: taxes are bad

Matthews: why is Obama raising taxes on the middle class to 57%???

Page: you are an idiot also

Matthews: so will Obama reform the U.S. health care system by the war on christmas?

Panel: yes which is so very sad

Page: yes but Rush Limbaugh is still fat

Brooks: but still a handsome man

Matthews: ha ha let me show another saturday night live skit ha ha

Brooks: ha

O'Donnell: ha

Parker: ha

Page: folks welcome to idiot america

Matthews: ha ha what if Obama and Clinton didn't get along hee hee!?!

Hillary Clinton: we are kicking ass and taking names

Matthews: who the winner in this deal with Barack and Hillary?

Brooks: clearly Obama

Matthews: no no no you have to say Hillary

Brooks: they're both fine

Matthews: no they're bickering hee hee

Parker: Obama just loves everyone and Hillary smacks the baddies around

O'Donnell: she's his hammer and everything looks like something she wants to nail

Brooks: she's has better political instincts like on Iran she and Biden wanted to say grandstanding shit

Matthews: isn’t her role make a deal with her many Israel friends

Page: they are both smarter than anyone on this panel

Matthews: [looks down] my shoes are on the wrong feet

Matthews: omg the President is black!

Page: Obama went to the NAACP but he wasn't going to go Yankee stadium - that's too black

Parker: good news borrowers are gearing up to create another bubble!!

Brooks: in the health plan there are taxes with no benefits in 2012 and looks bad

Matthews: Is Sarah Palin is going to be the next President?

Matthews: can she be the nominee in 2012?

Parker: um no

Page: she's fine until she runs against a sentient human

Brooks: of course she can she's adorable

O'Donnell: hell why not

Matthews: ha!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Meet The Press - July 12, 2009

Meet The Press
July 12, 2009
Sen. John McCain
Sen. Chuck Schumer
Gregory: welcome back John I love you -
you’re my favorite failed politician

McCain: love you too Greggers

Gregory: ok the big story today is Dick
Cheney’s secret assassination squad

McCain: I know absolutely nothing about it

Gregory: so glad I invited you on the show then

McCain: who among us hasn’t run the
occasional gang of ruthless murderers?

Gregory: does it bother you that Congress
didn’t know?

McCain: well you know the head of the CIA
probably didn’t know either

Gregory: should we prosecute Bush and Cheney for war crimes

McCain: I more than anyone have spoken out
very forcefully against those practices

Gregory: so yes?

McCain: oh no no

Gregory: why not

McCain: because it hurts America’s image
to not cover up our crimes

Gregory: what about accountability?

McCain: the people who ordered torture get last pick of of the cocktail weenies at Georgetown parties -
I think they've suffered enough

Gregory: were you surprised that Sarah Palin announced she’s resigning?

McCain: no she was always a major flake

Gregory: why did she quit

McCain: she didn’t quit

Gregory: yes she did

McCain: maybe but only because she was attacked when people pointed out her lack of ethics

Gregory: it seems kind of loopy

McCain: look I respected her realizing she can
best serve people by staying out of government

Gregory: will you endorse her in 2012

McCain: well you know we have many strong
young firm attractive candidates

Gregory: so you won’t

McCain: hey give me a break - when I chose her
I didn’t know she was out of her mind

Gregory: everyone knows her brief VP campaign was a total train wreck

McCain: not true she gave great eye-twinkle

Gregory: in fact your whole candidacy sucked

McCain: Lincoln Roosevelt Reagan whaaaaaa

Gregory: Obama’s poll numbers are down

McCain: the people have finally realized since
that debt is bad

Gregory: But Reagan, George HW Bush and George W Bush are the greaest debtors in history

McCain: it’s generational theft!

Gregory: okay

McCain: it’s crazy Obama bailed out AIG!

Gregory: no that was Bush

McCain: the GOP wanted a stimulus package!

Gregory: oh what was it?

McCain: we called for tax cuts!

Gregory: Obama defeated you so I ask you
- is Obama a big liar?

McCain: no not really

Gregory: no tell me he is old man

McCain: ok fine Greggers he lied because unemployment is still high six months
after he was sworn in

Gregory: so you favor another stimulus?

McCain: yes we should cut taxes

Gregory: health reform?

McCain: cut taxes!

Gregory: small business are failing

McCain: because taxes are too high!

Gregory: how should we reform health care?

McCain: now we have gold-plated health care
and we should just give that to everyone

Gregory: how so?

McCain: by cutting out the gold-plating and
going with aluminum

Gregory: should we raise taxes 1% on the richest 1%

McCain: that would kill the American economy!

Gregory: so what is your solution?

McCain: because of lawsuits doctors are ordering too many damn tests - I mean what is this fancy new Roentgen image machine?

Gregory: Afghanistan still sucks

McCain: yes we need more troops

Gregory: what should we do in Iran

McCain: tell the people of Iran we are totally with them in their protest against the government

Gregory: so send them arms or aid?

McCain: oh no no no, just change the colors of
our twitter gravtars

Gregory: that seems like useless grandstanding

McCain: why do you hate Neda?

[ break ]

Gregory: did you all misread the economy?

Schumer: yes we didn't realize how terrible the
Bush economy was

Gregory: but you live in New York - how could
you get it wrong??

Schumer: hey they said we going to enter another Great Depression

Gregory: but the Republicans were right when they said you needed a bigger stimulus!

Schumer: no Dave they wanted a smaller stimulus

Gregory: only if you go by reality

Schumer: the stimulus is working dammit

Gregory: [high pitched voice ] but states are using the money to stave off disaster that seems so wrong!

Schumer: we just needed to get shovels full of
cash in the economy

Gregory: [whiny voice] but it’s so slow!!

Schumer: hey dipshit this is not a 4 month plan
it’s a 2 year plan

Gregory: but Obama has been President for 6 months and there’s still unemployment and debt!

Schumer: lucky for us Obama has a long-term perspective unlike some jackass Sunday morning talk show hosts I could mention

Gregory: how are you going to pay for health
care reform?

Schumer: well I have a lot of rich people in my
state so I want to cut costs

Gregory: would you raise taxes on the rich?

Schumer: oh noe!

Gregory: how about Sonia Sotomayor?

Schumer: she’s charming, smart, down to earth,
and makes a great paella

Gregory: should we prosecute torture just
because it’s a crime?

Schumer: let’s wait and see before we cover it up

Gregory: is Sarah Palin the future of the GOP?

Schumer: god I hope so

[ break ]

Gregory: holy shit Sarah Palin quit her job!

Simon: the GOP has collapsed like a supernova into a very very dense core of batshit crazy people and she speaks to them

Gregory: wow

Shrum: hell I'm sending her money

Simon: right now she could beat Mitt Romney
and Mike Huckabee

Shrum: Kim Jong-Il could be beat those two

Hughes: let’s be honest - this woman is a total whackjob

Gregory: that’s very frank Karen

Hughes: there’s a very fine line between clever
and stupid and she vaulted over it

Gregory: Andrea Mitchell she is so authentic she wears fishing waders at the National Press Club

Mitchell: it’s adorably mavericky

Gregory: so is she a quitter or a leader?

Mitchell: she would make a great President except she runs away whenever people criticize her
or her family

Gregory: but other than that she’s great

Mitchell: well also she’s not well-read and inexperienced

Gregory: can the GOP ever recover?

Hughes: the GOP plan is educating kids and providing health care

Gregory: that’s not what I heard

Hughes: since when

Gregory: since 1929

Shrum: the GOP is cheerleading for failure

Hughes: no we are all very concerned that
Obama has failed

Shrum: it’s fucking July morons!

Gregory: no he’s failed and there is no hope
and he’s a liar

Simon: Obama has given us a recession and ruined Bush’s surplus and the American people have given up on Obama and the GOP will rule America
for the next 25 years

Mitchell: it’s so sad how Obama has failed

Gregory: oh my god we’re all doomed!!!!

Shrum: I heard you were a moron

Gregory: [shreiking] aaaarrrrhhhhh!!!!!

Shrum: let me explain something you panicky twit - Obama will reform health care, grow jobs, gain seats in 2010, and he will be reelected in 2012

Mitchell: to be fair the plan did prevent a Depression

Hughes: oh no that was Bush giving tax money
to AIG

Gregory: so what did Obama do wrong?

Hughes: he keeps giving bailouts to big companies

Gregory: of course

Gregory: speaking of Ghana should we absolve Bush for all his war crimes?

Hughes: of course we should - but look Obama went to Russia totally failed to eliminate nuclear weapons and not solve global warming

Shrum: oh my god this is a remarkably stupid panel

Gregory: can we ever prosecute torture?

Shrum: yes if you fail to follow a John Yoo memo you must truly be a sick fuck

Gregory: when will know when Obama has
totally failed?

Simon: oh he already has - his trip to Russia, meeting with the Pope, and the rapturous crowds in Ghana were spectacular but less than triumphant

Gregory: there you have it - Obama’s failure
to triumph of has doomed us all
by Culture of Truth

Sunday, July 05, 2009

This Week with George Stephanolpous with Joe Biden - July 5, 2009

This Week with George Stephanolpous
July 5, 2009
Guest: Vice President Joe Biden
Stephanolpous: Lindsay Graham says if you had told the Iranian government to “just stop it” they would have embraced the protestors and started wearing tie-dye clerical robes

Biden: he had a touching naïve faith in the innate goodness of the Iranian government

Stephanolpous: but will you rush into
giving more concessions?

Biden: no we would do that will that slowly
and with deliberation

Stephanolpous: should Israel attack Iran?

Biden: they can if they want

Stephanolpous: but the US gets to decide
what happens anytime everywhere

Biden: that’s your problem right there

Stephanolpous: North Korea has launched
more missiles than Macys

Biden: they’re very pretty

Stephanolpous: but the North Koreans
are making us look bad

Biden: yeah but they’re like that garbage
barge - they’re just sailing around and
no one will let them dock

Stephanolpous: are we just waiting for the crazy Dear Leader to die

Biden: he’s cuckoo for coco puffs

Stephanolpous: when do we win
the war in Afghanistan

Biden: hey gives time Bush got a free
ride for 8 craptacular years

Stephanolpous: but if we don’t win in one
Friedman Unit shouldn’t we just give up and leave?

Biden: oh I see now you all set deadlines
for success!

Stephanolpous: that’s right - these
are the Democrat rules now

Biden: I get it

Stephanolpous: the military says that
if Obama wants more troops the military
will say ‘what the fuck!’

Biden: oh fuck those fucking fuckers

Stephanolpous: oh so now you’re saying
the military is afraid of the evil military
hating dictator Barack Obama!

Biden: oh jesus fucking christ

Stephanolpous: your stimulus package sucks

Biden: oh but everyone thought Bush was merely a disastrous president instead of creating the worst economy since cavemen traded furs for sex

Stephanolpous: but Paul Krugman says you
need a new stimulus bill - bigger badder and uncut!

Biden: for god’s sake half the congress says
it's too big and now you say it’s too small - how many nobel prizes has Krugman won?

Stephanolpous: one

Biden: oh right

Stephanolpous: but the states are all failing and need your money

Biden: fuck em

Stephanolpous: you’re in charge of the economy, Iraq and the CIA - what does Obama do

Biden: dude looks good, smells nice and has more charm than a Mark Sanford love letter

Stephanolpous: you’re huggy and touchy feely
and he’s cold and logical

Biden: he’s the Spock to my McCoy

Stephanolpous: what is the deal with Sarah Palin?

Biden: isn’t it obvious - she’s fucking crazy

Stephanolpous: is she a victim of blood
sport vicious media?

Biden: no she’s just a total loon

Stephanolpous: Sarah Palin had another
GOP meltdown

Blankely: Palin is the most intuitive politician
in the entire GOP

Stephanolpous: in what possible sense?

Blankley: she has a great gut feeling for
what the weirdos want

Stephanolpous: oh my god are you kidding?

Blankley: hey people love her maybe she’s
better than the us elite DC beltway types

Dowd: she may have a great gut but there is
the tiny little problem of her being fucking nuts

Stephanolpous: interesting point

Dowd: you’re supposed to be the adult in the room and not quit just because a blogger said something bad about you

Blankley: look that’s not fair - she can’t save
America Obama’s fascism while she’s stuck
in motherfucking Alaska

Stephanolpous: can she ever come back

Will: um no - she is now not even a one-term governor of a backwater state

Tucker: she wants a career in national politics
but she’s petty, vindictive, shallow and stupid

Stephanolpous: yes but what’s the downside

Stephanolpous: her friends say she has a diagnosable mental illness

Purdum: he pals say she has narcissistic
grandiose personality disorder

Blankley: oh we are all narcissists now - besides look Nixon quit and after that he was elected President twice

Stephanolpous: and that turned out so well

Dowd: if she wanted to impress people she
could have stayed in government and accomplished something

Will: Republicans aren’t interested in that

Blankley: the GOP are in chaos and disorder which is all good news the GOP and all I know is the best pulsating GOP politician is Sarah Palin

Stephanolpous: oh my god you’re serious

Dowd: no he’s just pulling your leg - I think

Stephanolpous: Obama has ruined the economy

Tucker: that’s right all this is his fault for not having
a bigger stimulus and also adding to the debt with that horrible stimulus

Stephanolpous: do we need another stimulus package

Will: we already had a third one which Obama
made Bush pass in 2008

Dowd: Obama has lost 2 million jobs since January 20

Stephanolpous: wow global warming is also his fault too I suppose

Dowd: of course

Blankley: Obama will give America health care
and the people will turn on him for not turning the economy around

Stephanolpous: they have 60 votes now

Will: yes the Senate Dems have custody of the
whole country - but it’s like choosing between Debbie Rowe and Joe Jackson

Dowd: I’m very disappointed by Obama’s failure to reach out to the GOP since Al Franken won

Stephanolpous: it’s the saddest thing since Sarah Palin had the biggest public meltdown since-

Dowd: Mark Sanford?

Will: Zell Miller

Blankley: Tom Cruise?

Stephanolpous: I was going to say the YouTube Britney Spears Boy but those are good too

YouTube Britney Spears Boy: Leave
Sarah Palin aloooooone!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Culture of Truth

Friday, July 03, 2009

Gov. Palin Press Conference

Gov Sarah Palin
July 3, 2009:

I'm not wired to be normal politics and as usual and not just hit our head against the wall and make a difference for our priorities and also there's a full court press from the press and you need to pass the ball for victory and also you know also a good point guard needs to keep her head up to keep her eye on the ball of national security, freedom, energy and candidly and truthfully passing the ball so trust me and this is not politics as usual and millions of dollars have been wasted to allow me to be Governor also with prayer and fighting for children hell ya also the kids saw Trig understand we need each other and time is precious and we need more Trigs and in Kosovo and Germany we can learn from our selfless troops and they know life is short and build up their families and their states and our country and that's worthy and our public priority and first things first and I love my job and I love Alaska so I don't explain because it's not politics as usual also and I am calling an audible and looking north to the future!
Posted by Culture of Truth