David Kerley
Brad Garrett – Fmr FBI Agent
Gov. Mike Pence (R-IN)
Martin O'Malley (D-MD)
Josh Earnest – White House Press Secretary
Rep. Ed Royce (R-CA) Chair Foreign
Relations Commitee
Audience: aaarrrrhhhh!!
Kerley: should pilots be screened
for being fucking nuts?
Kerley: the German pilot
may have been depressed!
Kerley: and should pilots be
allowed to be alone?
Expert: a stewardess could have stopped him!
Stephanopoulos: did this pilot fit
the profile of a mass murderer?
Garrett: he fits the profile of guy who
lost his job and went off his rocker
Stephanopoulos: did he send
off warning signs?
Garrett: I guarantee he sent warning
signs which will be obvious in retrospect
Stephanopoulos: I can't believe pilots
are all on the honor system not to crash
the plane they're flying!
Elwell: maybe we should have more screening
Stephanopoulos: also he didn't
have enough hours in the air
Elwell: what difference would
a few more hours flying time make?
Stephanopoulos: more accurate plunging?
Stephanopoulos: what about cameras
in the cockpit so we could all watch
this guy purposely crash the plane?
Garrett: it would make for some
video clips for the media I suppose
Stephanopoulos: should air traffic controllers
have the ability to take control of a plane?
Garrett: okay but what if an air traffic
controller went crazy and crashed the plane?
Stephanopoulos: hmmm I didn't think of that
[ break ]
Jarvis: Indiana has a new law to allow
businesses discriminate against gays
Pence: no it's not about discrimination
Jarvis: but there's a movement
to boycott Indiana
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: welcome Governor Pence
Pence: morning George
Stephanopoulos: everyone is the world
is attacking your new law allowing
discrimination in the name of religion
Pence: this law is about religious liberty
and also my Presidential campaign
Stephanopoulos: I thought so
Pence: Bill Clinton and Barack Obama supported similar laws
Stephanopoulos: so you say
Pence: it's about religious liberty!
Stephanopoulos: people who pushed
the bill and were next to you when you
signed it say it's about businesses
refusing service to gay people
Pence: frankly George a lot of people
feel that their religious liberty is infringed
upon and also Obamacare is bad
Stephanopoulos: is discrimination
legal in Indiana now?
Pence: what a shameless question
Stephanopoulos: well is it or isn't it
Pence: there's so much
misinformation on the Internet
Stephanopoulos: also cute cats
Pence: gay cats?
Stephanopoulos: does the allow
discrimination or doesn't it?
Pence: what about tolerance
for the intolerant?
Stephanopoulos: is that what
you're demanding?
Pence: there's been an avalanche of
intolerance and bigotry aimed at Indiana
just because we passed this law allowing
discrimination – it's so unfair
Stephanopoulos: I'll go find a tiny violin
Pence: we've suffered so much just
because we want to make gay
people second-class citizens
Stephanopoulos: truly you are
martyrs for the cause
Pence: people in Indiana are tired of
this constant anti-intolerant bigotry
Stephanopoulos: no doubt
Pence: are the hateful not entitled
to equal rights? If you prick us do we
not pass a law taking away your rights?
Stephanopoulos: so is discrimination
against gays legal in Indiana now?
Pence: Frankly government is overreaching
with all these so called gay rights
Stephanopoulos: okay
Pence: this is about religious liberty!
Stephanopoulos: how about adding sexual
orientation to the Indiana's civil rights laws
Pence: no fucking way George
Stephanopoulos: you won't even consider it?
Pence: screw the gays!
Stephanopoulos: so to speak
Pence: Clinton and Obama did the same thing!
Stephanopoulos: but Illinois has
civil rights protections for gays
Pence: this is breathtaking discrimination
against people of Indiana
Stephanopoulos: that reminds me
– what the fuck are you talking about
Pence: this is an avalanche of
intolerance against us!
Stephanopoulos: some people are
talking about boycotting Indiana
Pence: the media are shameless
and reckless and I won't stand for it
Stephanopoulos: so would you be
willing to clarify the law to protect
the civil rights of gay people?
Pence: we're not going to change this law
and those stupid gays can go to hell
Stephanopoulos: you're standing firm
Pence: the government is trampling on God!
Stephanopoulos: do you think it should
be legal to discrimination against gays?
Pence: oh come George don't
make me answer that
Stephanopoulos: yes or no?
Pence: everyone knows
people in Indiana are nice!
Stephanopoulos: yes or no?!
Pence: George you're trying to
make this about those sinful gays
Stephanopoulos: yes or no?!
Pence: I stand by this law!
Stephanopoulos: yes or no?!?
Pence: I'm proud of this law!
Stephanopoulos: does this law discriminate?
Pence: I don't have to answer that question!
Stephanopoulos: I want an answer
Pence: you want answer?
Stephanopoulos: I think I'm entitled
Pence: you want an answer?!
Stephanopoulos: I want the truth!
Pence: you can't handle the truth!
Stephanopoulos: do you discriminate
against gay people?!?
Pence: I'm proud of this law!
Stephanopoulos: do you discriminate?!?!
Pence: you're GODDAMN RIGHT I DO!!
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: welcome Josh
Earnest: hi George
Stephanopoulos: is this Indiana law
the same law Obama and Clinton voted for?
Earnest: Mike Pence must be
desperate to go back two decades
to justify an anti-gay law
Stephanopoulos: maybe
Earnest: he's in damage control
Stephanopoulos: does Obama support
the NCAA boycott?
Earnest: that's up to individuals and
businesses but Obama was just in
Selma talking about justice and fairness
Stephanopoulos: how are the Iran
nuclear talks going?
Earnest: we're trying to get Iran
to agree to strict inspections
Stephanopoulos: I've heard
they're not going well
Earnest: It's time for Iran
to put up or shut up
Stephanopoulos: will you extend
the deadline?
Earnest: if Iran is willing to make
a deal they should be able to do
it by the end of March
Stephanopoulos: Boehner attacked
President Obama saying he is too anti-war
Earnest: if Boehner thinks U.S. troops
should be fighting in Iraq or Yemen
or Syria then he should stop being
a coward and say so
Stephanopoulos: ouch
Earnest: the President is leading an
Arab coalition to crush ISIS
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming
Earnest: thanks George
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: wow Martin O'Malley
is pitching himself to liberals in Iowa
by attacking triangulation
Stephanopoulos: he's got a rock band
and he's a character on The Wire
O'Malley: hi George
Stephanopoulos: why are you running
for President and why should
anyone vote for you?
O'Malley: I've been a Mayor
and Governor and got things done
Stephanopoulos: but back in 2008
you said Clinton was better because
she was experienced
O'Malley: she was the best
choice – when I wasn't running
Stephanopoulos: oh snap
O'Malley: we need new leadership!
Stephanopoulos: are you officially running?
O'Malley: you have to earn the
Presidency – it's not some crown
handed to you because of your family name
Stephanopoulos: that's a slam
against Clinton and Bush isn't it
O'Malley: we need a President who
oppose powerful interests not embraces them
Stephanopoulos: do you think Hillary
is too cozy with rich people?
O'Malley: I don't know but I do know
we created jobs in Maryland also
supported gay rights and immigrants
Stephanopoulos: I didn't expect
you to go after Clinton this much
O'Malley: it's about national interest
- not special interests
Stephanopoulos: that's catchy marty o
O'Malley: thanks stephy
Stephanopoulos: what's the biggest international threat?
O'Malley: the President must
protect all the most people of America
Stephanopoulos: so what's the biggest threat?
O'Malley: hmmm... tough call
Stephanopoulos: take your time
O'Malley: I'd say a nuclear Iran
Stephanopoulos: is the answer making
a deal or not having a deal
O'Malley: that letter from 47 Senators
to the Ayatollah was ridiculous
Stephanopoulos: people in Maryland
don't think you should be President
O'Malley: well they elected me Governor
Stephanopoulos: I'll fact check that
O'Malley: we reduced crime to 30 year lows!
Stephanopoulos: crime is dropping everywhere Marty
O'Malley: I have the ability to be honest
and get things done!
Stephanopoulos: when will you
officially announce ?
O'Malley: when the cherry blossoms bloom
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Mart
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: could you
support a deal with Iran?
Royce: We need a longer deal than
ten years and more inspections
Stephanopoulos: okay
Royce: the Ayatollah was yelling
'Death to America' so we should
walk away from a deal and let
them build a nuclear bomb
Stephanopoulos: noted psycho
John Bolton wants to start a war
with 80 million people
Royce: I wouldn't got that far but
we should support dissidents in Iran
and overthrow the government there
Stephanopoulos: what could go wrong
Royce: the only reason Iran is
at the table is because we fought Obama
Stephanopoulos: so you say
Royce: if we have more sanctions
Iran would capitulate and bend to our will!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming
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