Sunday, November 11, 2012

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – November 11, 2012

Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA)
Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA)
Rep. Donna Edwards
Rep. Aaron Schock
Katrina Vanden Heuvel
Paul Gigot
Greta Van Susteren

Stephanopoulos: holy crap Obama swept
all the swing state which means he
might be the President

Audience: wow

Stephanopoulos: in bigger news Saint Petraeus
was having sex with his biographer

ABC Journalist: this fall from grace is so sad

Stephanopoulos: isn't this unfair and how
can we blame Obama

ABC Journalist: yes because he didn't
commit any crimes

Stephanopoulos: when did you find out
Petraeus was a slut?

Chambliss: people in intelligence found
out on Tuesday but I found on Friday
watching The Voice

Stephanopoulos: should the FBI have told
Obama before the election?

Chambliss: no because Petraeus is a superhero
and there is no question that he did the right thing

Stephanopoulos: um right

Stephanopoulos: was General Petraeus straight with you

Chambliss: he's not one of them gays
as far as I know

Stephanopoulos: but now we'll never know
what happened with Benghazi

Chambliss: we know Obama is a terrible
President which is all we need to know

Stephanopoulos: did Petreaus lie to you

Chambliss: oh no that's impossible
for a Saint like him

Stephanopoulos: what do you think Patty

Murray: he's a handsome man

Stephanopoulos: what about the Fiscal Cliff

Murrray: Republicans complain about
the deficit constantly – time to put up
and then please shut up

Stephanopoulos: meaning what

Murray: raise taxes on the superrich

Stephanopoulos: but the cliff is so scary!

Murray: we just had an election
Stephy so quit whining

Stephanopoulos: will the rich riot in the
streets of East Hampton if there is a
2% tax hikes on the wealthy?

Chambliss: old and sick people are ruining
America for the rest of us

Stephanopoulos: what else

Chambliss: lets cut the deficit by lowering tax rates

Stephanopoulos: excellent

Chambliss: Presidents Ernst and Young say
if we raise taxes on rich job creators
we wil lose 700,000 jobs

Stephanopoulos: if go off the cliff won't the
economy suffer when it was going so well

Murray: I hear Saxby Chambliss saying
he wants to eliminate tax deductions
for middle class people

Chambliss: those moochers have it too good right now

Stephanopoulos: so what should we do?

Chambliss: we need to put politics aside
and admit Obama won the election so now
he should sit down with Republicans and
do what they want which is what a 
real leader would do

Stephanopoulos: will this get done by New Year's eve

Murray: yes if we raise taxes on the rich

Chambliss: no because getting rid of
Social Security will take more than six weeks

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming you crazy kids

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: whoa Petraeus quit over sex!

Susteren: he had better not lied to
anyone ever or he will go to
Martha Stewart's prison

Gigot: Petraeus saved Iraq and Afghanistan
and was forced out over Gmail

Vanden Heuvel: he had sex with a woman
not his wife – also the CIA tortures
people and counterinsurgency failed

Susteren: he was part of the Benghazi cover up!

Aaron Schock: it's unacceptable that the
head of the CIA could not hide an affair

Donna Edwards: there are many
concerns about intelligence in Congress

Susteren: Petraeus may have been
having sex the high holy day of 9/11!

Vanden Heuvel: oh zip it Greta –
he was Fox's Presidential candidate

Susteren: Fox is totally not a fake
news network for reals!

Gigot: what did Obama know and
when did he know it?!

Stephanopoulos: indeed if Obama can't control
the Petreaus penis how can he control America?



Anonymous said...

After years of reading The Translations, I actually watched George S and you know, why did I do that? Truly all one needs to do is check in with Bobbleheads. Much funner also too.

Anonymous said...

ALSO TOO however I did get to see all these names with their faces and... When did Bob Woodward get so old? I swear he quavered. Whilst intoning. Quavering intonement. Kinda icky.