Guests:
Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS)
Bill Richardson (D-NM)
Jon Huntsman (R-UT)
Chris Matthews
Kim Strassel
Maggie Haberman
Alex Castellanos
***************************************
Gregory: Good morning - Herman Cain says
he is back on message end of story!
Barbour: bad news is not like a fine wine it
does not improve with age
Gregory: what about a fine whine
Barbour: that’s different
Gregory: is the harassment scandal really
just going to go away?
Richardson: the GOP wants to criminalize
in vitro fertilization - face it they’re just weird
Barbour: look I’m not a doctor of a priest
- all I know if life begins when the sperm
thingy meets the magic eggo
Gregory: will Herman Cain be more popular
because of these sex harassments charges?
Barbour: yes because this is just like
Clarence Thomas when people only
called him a pervert because he’s
a black conservative
Gregory: but these are not new charges Governor
Barbour: Cain’s accusers should do him
a favor and come out describe what
happened in detail
Gregory: she signed a non-disclosure agreement
Barbour: pshaw Fluffy
Gregory: Cain wants an electrified barbed
wire fence to prevent China from getting
a nuclear bomb
Richardson: Obama killed bin Laden, shot
some pirates, got Qaddafi and signed free
trade agreements - he’s rockin and rollin’!
Barbour: harruumph
[ break ]
Gregory: Welcome Jon Huntsman
Huntsman: nice to see you David
Gregory: Herman Cain is an uninformed
gaffe-prone harasser and he’s still beating you
Huntsman: I know!
Gregory: do you think China will get
the bomb?
Huntsman: ha
Gregory: I’m scared of the Chinese
Huntsman: I know those orientals
intimately well
Gregory: Have you ever met General Tso?
Huntsman: you can’t spell Huntsman
without ‘Hunan’
Gregory: what about future President Romney?
Huntsman: he should run for President of
the Waffle House!
Gregory: name one thing he’s changed his
position on
Huntsman: abortion, gay rights, health care, guns…
Gregory: ok ok we get it
Huntsman: I could go on
Gregory: do you think we will ever have a
Mormon President?
Huntsman: of course we will
Gregory: how can you be so sure?
Huntsman: yes because America has hit a wall
Gregory: do you think the GOP has become
too extreme?
Huntsman: we can’t reject basic science Fluffy
Gregory: Can Mitt Romney beat Obama?
Huntsman: it depends on what his positions
are on election day
Gregory: good point
Huntsman: but he can’t win anyway
Gregory: you seem smart and yet you endorsed
Sarah Palin
Huntsman: I gave that speech because I had
once met Sarah Palin which is more than
John McCain ever had
Gregory: do you share her views?
Huntsman: yes I also believe she should
not run for President
Gregory: do you believe GOP voters are
a little crazy?
Huntsman: Hey I love guns and fetuses
as much as anyone
Gregory: you used to be in favor of health care
mandates and then you flip-flopped
Huntsman: we need to allow people to
shop around for health insurance and then
- problem solved!
Gregory: you said the 2009 stimulus was too small
Huntsman: I meant we need more tax cuts!
Gregory: you would have voted against TARP
Hunstman: yes
Gregory: are you serious?
Hunstman: no
Gregory: what is your position?
Hunstman: Bailouts are bad!
Gregory: does life begin at fertilization?
Hunstman: no it begins at conception -
except for rape then it doesn’t
Gregory: you’re part of the 1%
Hunstman: I am rich yes
Gregory: no that’s your popularity
Hunstman: we’re putting everything into
losing New Hampshire to Mitt Romney
Gregory: Sounds like a plan
Gregory: you have fun hot daughters who are
already more popular than you
Hunstman: I know!
[ break ]
Gregory: Herman Cain has announced that
his sex scandal is over and that’s the end
of the story!
Haberman: Cain says the code of ethics of
journalism means he doesn’t have to answer
questions about who he harassed
Strassel: When he gets a 3:00 am phone call
who will he harass?
Matthews: if there was good news in Cain’s
background you would know about it
Gregory: he says his decade-old harassment
charge is because the media hates an outsider
Castellanos: Cain is developing antibodies
and an immunity from future scandal
Matthews: Americans are cranky assholes
so they love Chris Christie and Herman Cain
Haberman: he says he expected to be attacked
because he is a black conservative
Strassel: voters know that in the 1990s there
lots of fake sex harassment accusations
Gregory: Cain thinks China is a dangerously
close to getting the bomb
Matthews: it suggests he hasn’t read newspapers
for a half-century or ever listened to Tom Lehrer
Castellanos: the GOP will either nominate a
flip-flopper or an idiot
Issa: as a former car thief I think you need to
learn about public affairs before running for office
Castellanos: I predict Mitt Romney will become
a black woman from De Moines
Gregory: Chris you say JFK forged political
bonds early
Matthews: he did it in high school and the Navy
and at Harvard RFK would knee-cap anyone
who opposed the Kennedys
Gregory: that’s awesome
Matthews: who is Obama’s vicious enforcer?
Gregory: Joe Biden?
Matthews: Obama made Jon Hunstman
Ambassador to China and he ran against Obama
- Bobby would have had him shipped to the Siberia!
Haberman: no one fears Barack Obama
Matthews: every politician must create a tight
network of terrifying loyalists
Castellanos: Obama is too nice and smart to
be the American President
Matthews: Team Clinton is out there and ready
to move with Hillary’s Army
Gregory: Huntsman says Romney has no core
Strassel: Mitt can’t change any position now or
he looks even worse
Castellanos: Obama is a flip-flopper too so there
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
***************************************
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