Richard Blumenthal (D-CT Attorney General)
Linda McMahon (CEO WWE)
Christine LeGarde (French Finance Minister)
Pervez Musharraf (Former President of Pakistan)
Amanpour: Hi Bob Woodruff is reporting from a remote and strange place where journalists are never allowed access
Audience: the Christine O’Donnell headquarters?
Amanpour: Bob what did you see in North Korea?
Woodruff: we saw things we never saw before - we have a failed leader passing power
on to his idiot son
Amanpour: what do you know about the son
of the President
Woodruff: he speaks a little English and
Amanpour: so he’s as qualified as Dubya
Amanpour: Connecticut has lost 100,000 jobs and has a shortage of gin & tonics so of course they have turned to a professional wrestling executive
Amanpour: you created 600 jobs based on oiled-up men wrestling each other on television -- so what federal spending would you cut?
McMahon: I would cut everything unpopular
Amanpour: would you cut defense Social Security
or Medicare and Medicaid?
Amanpour: Linda your business was a degrading demeaning sexist violent steroid-ridden farce
McMahon: it used to be offensive but now it’s beefy men beating each other up geared toward children
Amanpour: your husband told to a woman to get down
on all fours and bark like a dog
McMahon: so what - people love dogs!
Amanpour: Dick how can you be losing this race?
Blumenthal: because don’t vote on the issues they vote for the person
Amanpour: you misled people about serving
Blumenthal: true but I really did see ‘Platoon’ and ‘Apocalypse Now’
Amanpour: why should people vote for you?
Blumenthal: because professional wrestling is idiotic
Amanpour: and you Linda?
McMahon: because getting paid millions to
arrange for outrageously dressed muscular men in spandex to give each other consussions is the American dream
Amanpour: Talk austerity to me Christine
LaGarde: ve need to haf ze confidence
Amanpour: but economists say we need more stimulus
LaGarde: we did that in 2009 and unemployment is 9.3% which is tres bien
Amanpour: it seems like the poor are paying for the sins of the bankers
LaGarde: ve are taxing ze banks
Amanpour: can we prevent another worldwide financial meltdown?
LaGarde: ve don’t know because ze criminals
are tres agile
Amanpour: are markets run by crazy people?
LaGarde: ve must put zem in le straitjackets
Amanpour: will you raise the retirement age?
LaGarde: ess only 2 years
Amanpour: do women approach finance differently?
LaGarde: oui because eet is not all about le libido and making ze deal to have the sex
Amanpour: that sounds right
Amanpour: The U.S. apologized to Pakistan this week for bombing their country - whoops!!
Reporter: this leads to lack of support for the Pakistan government and hatred for the
Audience: sounds great
Amanpour: the U.S. is accusing Pakistan of
not going after terrorists
Musharraf: oh no we are
Amanpour: then why is the U.S. bombing Pakistan?
Musharraf: hey we got our hands full - you don’t know what it’s like living in nation full of insane religious fanatics and people in politics with patently crazy anti-government ideas
Amanpour: I wouldn’t be to sure about that
Musharraf: we need to play “Let’s Make a Deal”
with the Taliban
Amanpour: not “Jeopardy”?
Amanpour: why are there so many terrorists in Pakistan?
Musharraf: hey get off our backs! Just leave
Amanpour: Pakistanis don’t like the U.S.
Musharraf: well sure because the U.S. is bombing their country
Amanpour: are you going to run for President in 2013?
Musharraf: hey they could do worse than me -
and they have
Amanpour: but you’re in London
Musharraf: Yes I find for office in Pakistan from England cuts down on the assassination attempts
Amanpour: thanks for coming Pervez