MEET THE PRESS - Guest: Scott McClellan - June 1, 2008

********************************************
Meet The Press
Guest: Scott McClellan
June 1, 2008
********************************************

Russert: welcome benedict arnold - Bob Dole called you a miserable creature with no courage or integrity

McClellan: i respect that old lunatic but i am indicting all of Washington

Timmeh: let me ignore all your charges and attempt to smear your character with vague charges of hypocrisy

McClellan: of course Timmster

Russert: omg you bashed Richard Clarke!!

McClellan: i got caught up in the Washington culture of smearing people with no reason just for fun

Russert: speaking of that let me attempt to trash your character

McClellan: i look forward to it Timmo

Russert: Ari Fleisher says you are weird - you seem to have a conscience

McClellan: yes i found I had one in 2007 believe me it was bizarre

Russert: no wonder the Bush administration is puzzled

Russert: you call Bush a liar -- that's very negative why would you say that??

McClellan: because it is true

Russert: what is that?

McClellan: what?

Russert: this whole “truth” thing

McClellan: it's like when something is not “false”

Russert: huh?

McClellan: you know, “reality”?

Russert: let's move on and play gotcha some more

McClellan: ok cowboy

Russert: you say Bush and all his people lied and hyped the war!!!

McClellan: they did

Russert: you say they lied about Al Qaeda and WMD and nukes

McClellan: and they did lie

Russert: but i could make the case that you were part of the propaganda machine

McClellan: i was!

Russert: but but but

McClellan: what is it Tim?

Russert: you are not fighting my gotcha game

McClellan: you are right i was part of the problem

Russert: but i got nothing else

McClellan: what's wrong Tim?

Russert: i'm a fraud!!!

[ sobs ]

Tim: it seems like a Bush is a complete moron

Scottie: at times yes

Russert: why did't you grab the President by the shoulders and shake him and "wake up motherfucker!!!"

Scottie: in retrospect i should have

Tim: you lied day after day

Scottie: because the President asked me to

Tim: well you should have stood up to him!!

McClellan: like you stood up to the head of GE and reported the truth on the war right

Russert: no fair they hold the deed to my house on Nantucket!

Tim: you misled the american people about valerie plame!

Scottie: yes i did

Tim: Rove says he used legalistic language to trick you

Scottie: oh for god's sake only a fool a Frenchman or Tim Russert could possibly believe Karl Rove

Russert: also david gregory

Scott: fine him too

Russert: but you lied to the people

Scott: no i said i asked Karl Rove if he was involved and i told the press that Karl said he was not

Russert: why use your words so carefully?

Scott: because Karl lies all the fucking time

Russert: you said that Bush is fantasist and a liar and criminal

Scott: yeah he's a right nutter

Tim: like what

Scott: he said he forgot snorting blow off Margaux Hemingway's ass at Studio 54 in 1978

Tim: is that believeable?

Scott: i sure wouldn't have forgotten it

Tim: your goodbye party was so happy

Scott: i got good at lying

Russert: will you donate $$$ to the troops

Scottie: will you donate you fancy house in Nantucket to wounded soldiers

Tim: heaven forfend that white pleather stains

Scott: thought so lapdog

Russert: what's the biggest lesson in all this

Scott: never ever ever trust Republicans not to commit crimes