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60 Minutes
April 6, 2008
Guest: Doug Feith
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Kroft: why did we invade iraq?
Feith: Saddam had a very scary mustache
Kroft: but he wasn't involved in 9/11
Feith: but he could have been
Kroft: but he wasn't
Feith: but he could have
Kroft: but he wasn't
Feith: we had to attack someone
Kroft: so why Saddam?
Feith: he once attacked Iran
Kroft: you're fucking kidding right
Feith: it's ‘anticipatory self defense’
Kroft: i think hitler did that to poland in 1939
Feith: exactly
Kroft: you all said we were about to be attacked
Feith: no we didn't
Kroft: [ plays endless clips of people in the Administration saying that ]
Feith: oh that - that was all the CIA's fault
Feith: we shouldn't have focused on WMD
Kroft: dood that's the whole reason we invaded!!
Feith: oh no we attacked for a whole other reason
Kroft: which was??
Feith: to help Osama bin Laden and get us bogged down in a civil war and ruin our reputation
Kroft: really?!?!?
Feith: no - just kidding
Kroft: but all that really happened!
Feith: and we saw it all coming
Kroft: jesus christ then why invade??
Feith: Bush was salivating at the idea of a parade
Kroft: the war has been a disaster
Feith: ok we didn't realize there would be an insurgency
Kroft: you were asleep in the 20th century were you?
Kroft: you didn't have enough troops
Feith: i don't know what is my own book sorry
Kroft: you are the stupidest fucking man on earth
Feith: heh i wish i had a dime for every time i heard that
Kroft: worst decision ever??
Feith: disband the Iraqi military
Kroft: you signed off on that
Feith: no i never did
Kroft: did rumsfeld?
Feith: i don't know we were too busy banning abortion in Iraq
Kroft: you're an idiot - what are you doing now?
Feith: teaching at Georgetown
Feith: if Bush had listened to me and put Chalabi in charge things would have been fine
Kroft: General Franks says you're the dumbest mother fucker on the planet
Feith: ah - but not Venus or Mars, right
Kroft: people seem to hate you
Feith: they are just pissed because i faked intelligence to trick america in to war
Kroft: oh so just whining
Kroft: was the Iraq war was the right thing to do?
Feith: given bush is an idiot then yes
Kroft: yes or no
Feith: yes the war was a terrific idea
[scrubs hands furiously]
Kroft: i don't think that blood will come out big guy
Feith: dammit dammit dammit
***************************************************************
I want to invade a country, but don't I need a reason?
No! Read the book that tells The Full Doug Feith Story!
A book? What is it? It's words on paper, bound with glue, but's that not important right now.
What's important is that you click here for even more Doug Feith news!!
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14 comments:
Priceless as always, bro. I'm having my cable disconnected this week. I can just read your summaries; much cheaper.
(You think I'm kidding but I'm not.)
...OK, now THIS I would have watched...
You are one hilarious man. And I agree with you on looking at the important book on Feith. He needs your well deserved ridicule as well as the smackdown about how he enabled the Iraq war.
Feith was on NPR this week too, doing his desperate best to sell his version of history, in which Saddam = Hitler and he, Feith, had things all planned out for postwar Iraq, if only Bush would've listened to him. It's turning into that Stooge routine where each of them blames the other. http://michaelfountain.blogspot.com/2008/04/it-is-fear-it-is-fear-it-is-fear.html
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