Sunday, December 11, 2016

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – December 11, 2016

Reince Priebus – Trump Chief of Staff
Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY)
Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO)

Stephanopoulos: omg the CIA says Russia
hacked the Democrats to help to Trump

Trump: they also said Iraq had
WMD which I also believed

Stephanopoulos: the CEO of Exxon
got Russia's highest honor

Trump: he's unbelievable

Trump: of course he should be
Secretary of State – he's done
massive deals in Russia!

Stephanopoulos: welcome Reince

Priebus: Спасибо

Stephanopoulos: Trump attacked the CIA

Priebus: no no the Donald loves the CIA

Stephanopoulos: he does?

Priebus: the RNC wasn't even hacked!

Stephanopoulos: but why did
you question the CIA

Priebus: look at all the unnamed sources!

Stephanopoulos: so the news story
that Russia hacked the election to
help Trump is wrong?

Priebus: we have hacking detection systems!

Stephanopoulos: okay

Priebus: I am a source!

Stephanopoulos: yes you are Reince

Priebus: James Comey told me
we were never hacked

Stephanopoulos: where is your data stored

Priebus: where the grapes of wrath are stored

Stephanopoulos: what is Trump 
being told by the CIA?

Priebus: how should I know – I don't have top secret clearance and he skips all the briefings

Stephanopoulos: well who goes to the briefings then?

Priebus: Melania and Barron

Stephanopoulos: they have top secret clearance?

Priebus: yes - they're top agents

Stephanopoulos: they're spies for America?

Priebus: um America right

Stephanopoulos: got it  

Priebus: this is all very interesting
but Clinton skipped Wisconsin

Stephanopoulos: why does Trump
reject 17 intelligence agencies

Priebus: what are you talking about?

Stephanopoulos: the report from October?

Priebus: they made that public!

Stephanopoulos: that what I'm talking about

Priebus: we're against hacking!

Stephanopoulos: I was asking about
the October Report but let's move on

Stephanopoulos: Lindsay Graham 
wants to investigate

Priebus: I'm all for protecting America

Stephanopoulos: right

Priebus: we don't like this!

Stephanopoulos: will Trump bomb
Russia in retaliation?

Priebus: you should ask him

Stephanopoulos: how wonderful
is the CEO of Exxon?

Priebus: he has experience ravaging
places all over the globe

Stephanopoulos: he has close ties to Putin

Priebus: well he's in the business
of pulling oil out of the ground

Stephanopoulos: true

Priebus: you go where with 
the murderous dictator you have 
not the murderous dictator you want

Stephanopoulos: I see

Priebus: we have big problems in
the world and we can't make
believe people don't exist

Stephanopoulos: our real-time 
fact-checkers can confirm that 
people do in fact exist

Priebus: Reagan treated straight white
people with great dignity and respect

Stephanopoulos: do you have concerns
about Mr. Oil's confirmation

Priebus: this is premature speculation

Stephanopoulos: how much time 
will the Donald spend executive 
producing a game show

Priebus: oh hardly any time
like maybe 20 hours a week

Stephanopoulos: is that all

Paul: we need to get to the bottom of this!

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming

Stephanopoulos: welcome Rand

Paul: nice to be here George

Stephanopoulos: what about all this hacking

Paul: Trump got 70% of the vote
in Kentucky and it wasn't because
of the Russians

Stephanopoulos: why was is it?

Paul: because people in Kentucky
care about coal mining and Trump
promised to give them the shaft

Stephanopoulos: should the U.S.
attack Russia?

Paul: this hacking is an ongoing
threat from around the world

Stephanopoulos: what about the CEO
of Exxon as Secretary of State?

Paul: I want to know if understands
the Iraq was dumb at the time and
horrifying in retrospect

Stephanopoulos: we all think that

Paul: John Bolton still thinks it was brilliant

Stephanopoulos: jesus

Paul: Bolton wants to nuke Iran

Paul: I'm an automatic 'no' vote
on John Bolton – he's terrifying

Stephanopoulos: Rex Tillerson
has close ties to Putin

Paul: I just want to know if thinks
the Iraq war a good idea

Stephanopoulos: right

Paul: I like Trump because he opposed
regime change in Libya and Syria

Stephanopoulos: actually he
demanded the U.S. go into Libya

Paul: I will do anything to keep John Bolton
away from the State Department

Stephanopoulos: you're a spending hawk

Paul: all budgets must be balanced!

Stephanopoulos: wow

Paul: I'm a 'no' vote on all 
non-balanced budgets

Stephanopoulos: that could be a problem

Paul: we gonna need a better budget

Stephanopoulos: will businesses try
to curry favor with the President by doing
business with the Trump corporation

Paul: only the media cares
about bribery and stuff like that

Stephanopoulos: maybe

Paul: he can't sell all his 
wonderful businesses

Stephanopoulos: no?

Paul: it's just not fair!

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: welcome Senator McCaskill

McCaskill: great to be on George

Stephanopoulos: what about Trump's
business conflicts of interest?

McCaskill: it's just weird he wants
to produce a reality game show

Stephanopoulos: the CIA says Russia
tried to tip the scales for the Donald

McCaskill: this is an act of war!

Stephanopoulos: oh my

McCaskill: he's a thug and and a bully

Stephanopoulos: Trump or Putin

McCaskill: both actually

Stephanopoulos: how do we retaliate?

McCaskill: it's classified but a sack of weasels

Stephanopoulos: golly

McCaskill: it's not good that
he rejects facts from the CIA

Stephanopoulos: what about Rex Tillerson

McCaskill: he's a gazillionaire

Stephanopoulos: probably

McCaskill: he's got no experience

Stephanopoulos: what about General Kelly

McCaskill: he seems fine

Stephanopoulos: do you agree that
James Comey should resign

McCaskill: we need to get to
the bottom of what he did

Stephanopoulos: how do Democrats
win back rural blue collar voters?

McCaskill: the GOP just gutted heath
care for coal miners and our proposed
'Buy American' law!

Stephanopoulos: well good luck Senator

1 comment:

Gary McCammon said...

Stephanopoulos: welcome Reince

Priebus: Спасибо