Guests:
Brian
Ross
Alex
Marquardt
Martha
Raddatz
General
John Allen (Ret.)
Richard
Clarke
Rukimini
Callimachi
Martha
Raddatz
Rep.
Mike McCaul (R-TX)
Rep.
William Lacy (D-MO)
Ray
Kelly
Pierre
Thomas
Stephanopoulos:
good morning –
holy
cow there was a big earthquake in Napa
Reporter:
yes George – no injuries
yet
but there is lots of broken
glass in downtown Napa
Stephanopoulos: oh my god the wine bottles!
Reporter: yes it's tragic but only
bottles of merlot were lost
Stephanopoulos: oh thank god
Stephanopoulos: oh thank god
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos:
holy shit ISIS is
more
extreme than al-qaeda!
Ross: they are planning attacks in
a
small town in America near you! Ross: they are planning attacks in
Stephanopoulos: yikes
Ross: the murderer has a
distinctive British accent
Stephanopoulos: that narrows it down
Ross: the US will not pay any
Stephanopoulos: fuck yeah
Ross:
but the hostage families
want
the ransom paid Stephanopoulos: oh then
we should pay
Ross: on the other hand ISIS was
Stephanopoulos: is that a lot
- I'm out of touch
Stephanopoulos: should the U.S. bomb Syria?
Marquardt: the Kurds say they can
defeat
ISIS with American guns and bombs
Stephanopoulos:
oh good
Marquardt:
but while ISIS lost the
Mosul
dam but they are still strong
Stephanopoulos:
wily fuckers
Marquardt:
ISIS has 10,000 fighters
and $100 million
and $100 million
Stephanopoulos:
pretty sweet
Marquardt:
U.S. officials say this
will be a long fight
will be a long fight
Stephanopoulos:
terrific
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: General how can
the
U.S. destroy ISIS?[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: General how can
Allen:
the whole region has to
go
all-in on eliminating them
Stephanopoulos:
does that mean
working
with the evil dictators of Syria and Iran
Allen: yes but we should make
clear that we don't like doing
it while we do it
Stephanopoulos:
I see
Allen:
after all Assad has turned
a
blind eye to ISIS
Stephanopoulos:
will it take 10,000 US troops?
Allen:
maybe but we can send
special
forces – those guys are bad-ass
Stephanopoulos:
wow
Allen:
we also can provide massive
American
weapons to shadowy
groups which will probably not backfire
Stephanopoulos:
what is the
White
House planning?
Raddatz:
the White House wanted
to
leave 10,000 advisors in Iraq but
that corrupt idiot wouldn't let us
Stephanopoulos:
should we work
with
our sworn enemies to defeat
our mortal enemies?
Clarke: frankly yes – we have to
apologize to Assad and trying to
assassinate him and bomb Syria
McCaul: ISIS killed an American
journalist and are now planning
to invade the United States and
take over Washington, D.C.
which would
endanger hundreds
of innocent lobbyists
of innocent lobbyists
Stephanopoulos:
so should Congress
declare
war on ISIS?McCaul: yes we'll get on it as soon
we're done with our five week vacation
Stephanopoulos:
got it
McCaul:
I agree with the general
we
need to get Saudi Arabia on
board with bombing ISIS
Stephanopoulos:
excellent
of ISIS before they invade America
Stephanopoulos: is that really
going to happen?
McCaul: yes – there are Americans
with U.S. passports in ISIS
Stephanopoulos: good lord
McCaul: they even have access
to Facebook and twitter!
Clarke: the U.S. is going to be attacked
and overthrown and our children
will all speak whatever language
guys in ISIS speak
Stephanopoulos: apparently they speak English
Raddatz: there's no imminent threat
– they're too busy forming their
imaginary caliphate
ISIS with massive ransom payments
Callimachi: yes they've given ISIS
hundreds of millions over the years
Stephanopoulos: is Europe re-thinking
their strategy of encouraging kidnappings
and financing terrorists?
Callimachi:
no - to the Europeans
it's
strictly business
Stephanopoulos:
ISIS is rich!
with banks with big vaults of cash
Stephanopoulos:
amazing
Clarke:
no one wants to lose a
loved
one but if the US pays ransoms
we will all of us be at risk for
being kidnapped by ISIS
Stephanopoulos: cripes
[ break ]
Thomas: the people of Ferguson
don't trust the police
Stephanopoulos:
but they are in authority
Thomas:
67% of Ferguson are black
but
they only have three black cops
Stephanopoulos:
so not a lot
Thomas: folks protested police
injustice
so of course more white
Thomas: folks protested police
cops spent a week arresting more black folks
Stephanopoulos: did that solve everything?
Thomas: the U.S. Attorney General
had to come to calm things down
Stephanopoulos: ok so now problem solved
Thomas: no we keep seeing riots
after unarmed black kids are
shot and killed by white cops
Stephanopoulos: every now and then
Thomas: one solution is police
wearing body cameras
Stephanopoulos: what's the
Stephanopoulos: what's the
future for Ferguson?
Clay: Attorney General Holder helped
Clay: Attorney General Holder helped
calm
things down by promising a fair investigation
Stephanopoulos: amazing how there
are all-white cops there are in
black towns and cities
Stephanopoulos: amazing how there
are all-white cops there are in
black towns and cities
Clay: yes they don't understand the culture
Stephanopoulos: should the police
have military weapons?
Clay: they do need them to fight
off a terrorist attack but clear
it's gone much too far
Stephanopoulos:
Ray Kelly do the
police need to be armed like they
are ready for combat?
police need to be armed like they
are ready for combat?
Kelly: this is a terrific program
in a post 9/11 world
Stephanopoulos: ok never mind then
Kelly: on the other hand we need to
ask if every small town needs it's
own tank and stealth bomber
Thomas: cameras recording police
happened during these repeated incidents
Kelly: why does St Louis county have
60 different police departments?
You know how many New York
fucking City has? One! One motherfucking
police department! One fuckers!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming everyone
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